"The Great Outdoors"

Today was one of those days that confirm for me why I always try to workout outside if I can. Especially running. I can count on one hand the amount of times I decided not to run at all, or run on a treadmill instead due to snow or wind. The fact is that if you dress properly there are very few winter days in southern ontario that are really uncomfortable. But what's the advantage you may ask. Well today I was blessed with a rare one. I was doing my hills when a vehicle slowed down and pulled over on the other side of the road. I knew right away that they wanted direction to somewhere as this is always the case. I find it frustrating to get interrupted and yet I always try to help anyway. Today however it was the driver giving me directions as opposed to giving them. She pointed across the road to the top of a tree where I seen this.



Do you freakin believe it? Three bald eagles sitting in a tree right there at my hill! Actual there was only one at the time, and when I went back later with the camera there was this scene. Unbelievable eh? I also had a chance to talk further with the lady who first pointed them out to me and she knew the whole story. Apparently there has been a pair nesting there for at least 4 years, and the younger one you see is probably one of their previous offspring. Sorry about the low level of photo quality but at least you have the proof that I didn't make this up. If you choose you can click on the pic and get something slightly better.

And just think....my first instinct was to believe that I didn't have time to stop and check it out.

By the way, I did my hill workout and felt strong. I also went to the pool but my effort there was
mediocre....oh well...tomorrow's another day.

I wish to dedicate day 74 to my friend Ky who hates to cook but loves to care!

"What is this life if, full of care,We have no time to stand and stare?
No time to stand beneath the boughs, And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can, Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare."---W. H. Davies

love
peter

"Proud to be a Parent"

It was one of those days that make it all worthwhile. We had the opportunity tonite to watch our son Michael perform several parts in Theatre Western's production of the Laramie project. Over the years we have always tried to make the effort to watch our kids activities and I have always enjoyed doing so. I confess however that focusing on my kids, and their particular part in the particular play or hockey game often left me missing the pleasure in the overall event. Tonite that would have been impossible. I have never sat and been riveted for so long (it was almost 3 hours) with anything in my life. The Laramie Project is a very emotional undertaking about a very sensitive topic, and I thought it was absolutely brilliant. Of course I was still most moved by my own son's performance, and I can't think of enough superlatives to tell you what I felt. Other then I suppose an overwhelming pride to be the father of a talented, hard working, gifted, and courageous child. Damn it feels good!

Since I neglected to get a picture with him tonite, I went back and found a more previous one of the 2 of us together.




Like father, like son! We've both tried this once.

Not much training today. I think one of the mistakes I have been making is trying to string too many hard days together when I've been feeling good, and as a result breaking down for 2 or 3 days. So today was only a run around the block and I'll get back at it hard tomorrow. So that I can't get out of it I will tell you that I intend on doing hills in the morning and then a good swim in the afternoon.

I wish to dedicate day 73 to my friend Deb, because even though she may be a lousy poker player, she is a good friend.

"The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent". ~Frank Pittman

love
peter

" I'm a VIP! "

To at least one little girl. And I can't think of anything that's much more significant than that. It definitely explains why this will be a short post. Quite frankly I have better things to do. An ice cream date with a princess.
Forgive the semi nudity. We had a nice soak in the hot tub first.







Quickly though on my training today. I fully intended on going for a decent ride but by the time Claudette and I got back from an appointment in London it was starting to snow. Not enough to be a problem in itself but it does not take long for the pavement to get wet and so I decided on another course. I called the computrainer place to see if there machine was available and fortunately it was. I rode the first 82 kilometres of the Ironman Canada simulation in 3 hours. This first portion includes the biggest climb on the course, and I was very happy with the workout. Much to my continuing surprise the intensity very much simulates actual riding especially the hills. In a way it's even tougher because although the uphills are nicely simulated by the automatic resistance increase of the trainer, it can not simulate gravity on the down hills. Of course it gets much easier on the downs, but unlike in the real world, you can not stop pedalling or you will actually come to a stop. I like it becasue it makes the workout even more intense. Of course one limitation is that there is no wind inside eh? Regardless, I can clearly see that this whole deal is going to be a saviour for me. I booked another appointment for monday

I was also very excited to find out that next week they will have a new version of Ironman Canada that uses actual film of the course instead of a simulation....that should be really cool!

I was also supposed to go swimming tonite, but no go on that as I ran out of time.....again I remind you that I had a date with a princess.


I wish to dedicate day 72 to Gail Belanger, a woman who I have not yet met but I intend on doing so. She has already inspired me with her courage.

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."---Forest E Witcraft

love
peter

"Gotta Get Goin'"

Just over 9 months left to D-day and really only 8 since serious training has to slow down at least a month prior to. I can’t believe this is my 71st post! I need to get organized. Unlike most things I try to do in life, my training really has nothing approaching a formal plan. The problem is that Ironman training is hardly an exact science and the more I search for information the more it gets muddy. There is lots of stuff out there but most of it is so complex and even contradictory that I just get turned off. Compare it to basic marathon training for example, of which you will find all kinds of simple, easy to follow, and very specific training plans. I remember when I used to think that deciding to run a marathon was a big commitment. When I start trying to face the idea of formalizing my plans it gets a bit overwhelming. Beyond just putting in miles in all 3 disciplines I have to consider diet, stretching and flexibility, strength training, hill work, speed work, technique improvement , equipment, mental preparation and to top it all off something I’m not very good at, and recognize as a significant liability….sleep! That also brings up another frustration I have with most of the training advice available. It generally assumes that you start your day feeling refreshed at about 5 am and that you have no other life beyond your training….no fences, and no grandchildren! One last element I need to think about , and that I have procrastinated so far is nourishment on race day, I need to consider it soon as I need to practice this during my training such that I know how much I need and what I can tolerate. Again, the problem is that most advice assumes you can eat peanut butter cookies, sports bars and everything in between if you so choose.

But, I suppose if it were easy I would have done it a long time ago, and there’s no backing out now. Or at least there won’t be come next Tuesday when Janine will tell a few hundred thousand people that I intend on doing this. Here's the evidence of her intentions. Just hit play. Apparently this thing is gonna run several times bewteen now and next tuesday.




Janine sent me this during the day today while I was travelling and as a result didn't see it until I got home at about 5 oclock. I don't know if it had anything to do with it but I then went for a run and absolutely smoked the block! Thirty two minutes, and eighteen seconds ,which is 3 minutes faster than my previous best effort. I was worrying my watch had stopped.


Anyway....back to planning.... I’m going to commit over the next week to developing at least a general timetable with some kind of guidelines as to what and how much I want to do each week, as well as try to identify some milestones along the way. The next 4 months will be critical, as they will be the toughest from both a practical(weather) perspective as well as from a motivational perspective(weather again, short days, time til race day etc). If I can come out of March with both my running and swimming in my back pocket so to speak, then the following 4 months I can focus on really pushing my biking while maintaining the other 2 disciplines. I think I also need to start an actual training log so that I don’t have to try to look back at my blog all the time to figure out what I did when.

That’s about it for today. The planes about to land.

I wish to dedicate day 71 to my friend Eduardo who I work with in Mexico who is much more disciplined than me. If I was as tough on myself as he is, I would be ready for Ironman already.

And on planning, and dreams, and public statements I give you this.....

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut"---Ernest Hemingway

"Plan more than you can do, then do it.
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
Hitch your wagon to a star,
Keep your seat, and there you are"---Unknown

"Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet"---Victor Hugo

Love
peter

"Why Am I the Stupid One?"

There!.... if that ain't leaving myself open to lots of abuse I don't know what it'll take? I don't care however as I truly believe that one of my strengths is that I take very few things personally. Perhaps I even like abuse as it allows me to laugh at myself and if the abuse is skillfuly done I appreciate it simply for the pleasure of seeing or hearing a witty comment.

But seriously, why am I the stupid one in this family? I can almost bear it (almost) to consider that my older siblings may have more wisdom than me simply due to seniority, but my younger brothers and sister, my wife, and my childern as well? Especially when you consider that I share the same genetic material with most of them?
What prompts this outburst you may ask?

Well, it's the simple fact that of all the advice I got regarding my "purpose" post 2 days ago some of the most pointed, simple and common sense stuff has come from people who parted thier mother's thighs after I did. That doesn't in any way slight the wisdom I regularly get from my beloved older sisters but from them I expect it.

As I search for explanations many possible answers come to me. Maybe it's because I lost some brain cells during that shitty hospital incident? Maybe it's from the drugs? Maybe it's from landing on my head while mountaion biking a few years ago? Or maybe it's because Cory, Mary and Elly, purposely kept me stupid?

No.... more likely it's just because I "am" the stupid one. Born this way. It's funny however that this thought doesn't seem to hurt. Hopefully it's a sign that I have matured because I know that just a few years ago the very consideration of it would have had me running off to the library to learn something. I have always appreciated the idea that a wise man is not one who knows many things, but rather one who knows who to ask. I guess then, that if I ask you guys for advice it would make me a wise man eh? Stupid maybe....but wise!

So in closing and in honour of my younger advisors this will be my priority strategy going forward as relates to purpose. I will continue to ask questions to make other people think, I will try each day to move in the direction of the place I aspire to arrive at, I will spend a little less time thinking about me, and more about others, and finally I will try to be flexible in my purpose from day to day, hour to hour. Sound like a plan?

Ok Cool!....I just watched my new friend Janine Grespans initial report on tonsilar cancer on CTV. Hopefully this link works and you can watch it too. http://www.southwesternontario.ctv.ca/news.php?id=3300&PHPSESSID=e8b0f081af1c8c2244c6fe75f3c9b86c
The doctor that she interviews is the guy that first examined me and gave me my prognosis, and who remains my primary follow up guy....a very professional but very cool guy.

I wish to dedicate day 70 to the very same Dr John Yoo because he promised me that in another year he would give me a chance to try an experimental idea he is working on to revitalize my saliva glands.

And just to prove that I can laugh at myself I give you this....

"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."---Gustave Flaubert---

I think I have a good chance at happiness.
love
peter

"Thanks"

I think I got good advice today. I'm going to read it a few more times and try to apply some of it. Thank you all my family, and also to Amy who commented offline.

I'm feeling slow and lazy in Mexico(too many burritos and not enough exercise) so I'm going to turn in early.

I just want to quickly and publicly comment on one special person tonite. My little sister Teresa. For those of you who don't know, Teresa and I not only work for the same employer now but we are even working on a project together. The comment she made was in reference to a teleconference we were both on this morning. I have come to realize that we are scarily alike, and despite that I have come to appreciate her beyond what I thought possible. I will not lament the years I didn't have a relationship with her because somehow it has made the current joy of it even more gratifying. If I am at peace with one thing it is that the love I have for her on a personal level, and the admiration and respect on a professional level are here to stay, come what may! I just wanted you all to know that.

I want to dedicate day 69 to my Canadian/Mexican friend Andrew who is always a pleasure to talk to.

And on why I need advice....

"A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice".---Bill Cosby

and I think this says it all...

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.---Robert Frost

love
peter

"The Purpose?"

What’s your purpose in life?

I’m not sure what mine is right now!

I hesitated before starting such a potentially negative, and certainly momentous discussion for a couple of reasons, and yet here I am, bringing the topic up.

First the reasons for my hesitation.

Probably foremost because it has the potential to worry those who care about me. So many people have made an investment in my well being over the last year that I don’t want to repay them by continuing to need care.

Secondly because I believe that it is possible for negative feelings to become a self fulfilling kind of thing, if you dwell on them too much.

And thirdly, and maybe this shouldn’t be last but rather first, part of my hesitation is driven by self preservation. The long developed habit of not letting my insides on my outside, for fear of being seen as weak.

So why then do I venture into this minefield? A dangerous topic which could perhaps lead not just to more personal discouragement, but one with the potential to influence others in a negative way?

Well I choose to do so because over the last few days I have tried to do some soul searching and haven’t come up with answers. Intellectually I am so grateful for everything I have in my life and yet once again I find myself waking up in the morning in a very discouraged frame of mind. While I can certainly find some particular stressors in my life, the biggest current one being a combination of Jon, and the fast approaching Xmas season, I simply can’t accept that the weight of these should be heavy enough to offset things like the incredible, almost unheard of gift of having my grandchildren living next door to me. Especially since this is only one of the very many, very good things currently in my life.

Something that Peter wrote the other day triggered this thought process as well I think. He had talked about his school assignment in which he was supposed to declare what he wanted to be when he grew up. On stating his intentions to be “happy” it was suggested that he didn’t understand the assignment. While I think the teacher was absolutely correct in his/her statement (either Peter didn’t understand what they wanted of him, or more likely knowing my son he was just being obtuse), It also occurred to me that Peter’s response was even more valid. The assignment did not take an understanding of life into consideration. The understanding that it’s not good enough just to “be” something.

So these 2 things got me puzzling over what the hell’s wrong and why, and from there somehow I came to these thoughts on life’s purpose. Strangely it comes to me while sitting on an airplane again! I wonder if that means something?

While I accept the premise that our primary responsibility should indeed be to find fulfillment and happiness, it also seems to me that there needs to be some further breakdown of what this means. There needs to be something more practical and tangible that becomes our raison d’être. In business we are always reminded that any undertaking needs a clearly defined purpose, in order to set direction, give meaning to our efforts, and give us something to measure our progress against….otherwise you’re just working! Me thinks the same rule should apply to life eh?

For as long as I can remember I think my purpose in life was to achieve financial security, and to raise my children. It occurs to me that maybe the reason I’m looking to find answers at this time is that those “purposes” are coming to a close. While the children are still uppermost in my mind and in my heart, I know that for the most part that chapter is nearing completion. And I have also concluded that the search for financial security is never over until you let it be so….so probably I need to let it be so. It’s not a very noble purpose anyway.

So what’s my purpose? I know it’s not to do an ironman, and I know it’s not to build a fence, even though the completion of these things remain important to me. I guess I have some more soul searching to do eh. Anyone want to help? Maybe tell me your purpose if you know what it is???

In closing, please forgive me for being so serious. But please respect that my thoughts come from my heart, and as such leave me feeling a little vulnerable.

Quickly on training today. I did the computrainer thing and much to my surprise I think I want to do it again. I have always hated riding inside but somehow the feedback that the monitor gives you, plus the variety you can build into your workout makes it a whole lot less annoying.

On another note, if you get the Kitchener CTV news don’t forget to watch tomorrow night(Tuesday)) at 6 pm for the first installment of Janine Grespans head and neck cancer segment. I won’t be watching as they don’t get that channel is San Luis Potosi.

I wish to dedicate day 68 to Claudette’s niece Desiree, who I would use as a prototype if I had my own teenage daughter.

Interestingly enough today’s topic netted an incredible amount of hits when doing my quote search. I guess lots of other people ask themselves the same question. Here are a few that I really liked. Maybe one of them will call to you.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy”.---George Bernard Shaw

“Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”---Helen Keller

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”---Robert Byrne

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.” ---Victor Frankl

….and the one that didn’t just call to me, but yelled rather loudly…

“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.”--- James Thurber
Love
peter

"How Many Minutes is That?

That's how kids live their lives. By the minute. While wating for something good to come 10 minutes is a lifetime, but while enjoying something 10 minutes is also a lifetime. Colby always wants everything broken down into minutes for this very reason. If he is gifted with 60 minutes to do something pleasurable his happiness knows no bounds, and if given some inconceivable amount of time like 240 minutes he cannot even conceive of the possibilities.
In contrast, tell me that I have only an afternoon left to do some task, even one I may enjoy, and I immediately get stressed. I don't know the answer, I only pray that I don't let my stupidity rub off on him.

Another easy training day today but I feel good. I did the block in 36 1/2 minutes at an easy pace, and then crosstrained with the fence job in the afternoon. I don't know if I'm progressing fast enough, but I can tell you that my overall fitness certainly continues to improve. Everything just seems to get easier and easier. Even just working around the yard. As an example I noticed how easily I jump on and off the tractor. I feel like a kid.
I'm doing the computrainer thing tomorrow then off to mexico for 4 days, so I should be able to go crazy again when I get back.

I wish to dedicate day 67 to my nephew Matt, who turned into a man sometime when I wasn't looking

Done waste your minutes....

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."---C S Lewis

"Lost, yesterday, somewhere between Sunrise and Sunset, two golden hours, each set with sixty diamond minutes. No reward is offered, for they are gone forever.---Horace Mann

love
peter

"I Almost Forgot!"

To write a post tonite.

Probably because it was not an inspirational kind of day. I was still recovering a little from my long run and so decided just to take it easy. That's the problem with winter, as the best thing for me today would have been a moderate distance ride. Oh well....god grant me the serenity and all that.

I did enjoy a new experience today however. Actually did I say enjoy? Rather not I'm afraid, but it was new. I went to a local triathlon place that has an endless pool. If you've not heard of that it is bascically a big tube that has a big jet of water which you swim against, in essence swimming in place. They have mirrors on the bottom so you can watch yourself, and even an underwater camera allowing you to film your swim if you so choose. I had previously arranged with an experienced swimmer/coach to watch me and give me some tips. The problem is that it was extremely difficult to get the water flowing at the right speed and I also found it almost impossible to stay centered in the stream. I was always running into one end of the pool or the other, and drifting off sideways. All this made it very difficult to focus on the help she was trying to give me. So that was that. I gave it up as a lost cause after about a half hour. She did agree to come to the pool with me and give it a try there. I do believe she will be able to help me.

I also arranged today to try something else new on monday. I believe I mentioned it before. These special bike trainers, called computrainers, that allow you to cycle preprogrammed courses. Should be fun!

Oh and for Teresa, guess what...you're all grown up!

I wish to decicate day 66 to my neice and new Mom Kelly...by now she should be needing it!

And that's it for today with the exception of a few thoughts on forgetting...

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."--- Maya Angelou

“Most of us can forgive and forget; we just don't want the other person to forget that we forgave"---Ivern Ball

love
peter

"The Bitch Made Me Do It!

My hope today was to go for a decent bike ride but again Mother Nature wasn't co-operative. So I tentatively suggested to Claudette that I may try to do a "longer" run instead. I got home from work at about 2:30 and on the drive home I knew it was even a poor day for running. The shoulders had so much slop on them that the footing would have been unbearable and even the pavement had ice and snow on the edges. And to top it all off it was starting to snow again. So of course my mind started rationalizing how to get out of it. Maybe I could just do a shorter one today, and tomorrow the weather would be better, or maybe I really, really just needed another day off eh? Anyway, this was my thought pattern on the way home, and then I made my mistake. I went home! And got nagged!

"You need to go, and on top of that you need to swim tonite"

... but, but , but....

"No buts, just get out there and do it"

... but the roads..

"No excuse, I already ran on the same roads"

...but it's gotten worse...

"yah right!"

So just to get away from it I got dressed and went out, with the intention of maybe doing 10k and then coming home. Instead of running blocks I decided to head up to the psych to see if they had cleared the roads around there and sure enough they were in good condition. So round in circles I started. The loop is 2.6 k so it was indeed pretty boring, but at least I had traction and I was out of the wind for the most part. I also found out that I was feeling pretty good. Obviously my day off had paid some dividends. After about a half hour however I suddenly got that old "where'e the porta potti" feeling, and so I knew I had a built in excuse to head back home soon. However despite some discomfort, the laps started to add up and at one point I thought maybe I could head home at about 15 and then either have a dump and head back out, or have a dump and stay home. When I got to that point however I settled for a pee in the bushes, and carried on in circles. By this time my mind was considering all kinds of alternatives. Maybe 25 (or 25.4 it would work out to) would be good as that was my longest so far anyway? Or maybe I should try for 1 more lap and make it an even 28? Or maybe I could even squeeze one more out and pass the 30 k mark?

And that's how I got there. Two hours and 47 minutes for 30.6 k which was just better than 5 1/2 minute k's. I'm really happy with that. It was 5 k more than my last run, and at a slighter faster pace. What's really freaky however is how amazingly good I still felt at the end. Better than after the 25, just 9 days ago. I could have gone further, and if I had a good enough reason to do so I think I could run a marathon. My heart rate didn't go over 140 until about 25k, and I believe even then, that dehyration was part of the reason. I had water with me, but as stupid as it may seem, I hate to bend down to pick it up....that flexibility thing again.

I had forgotten to take my music with me and so I had lots of time to think. Unfortunately all I could think about, besides concentrating on not shitting in my pants, was how crazy it was to be doing this. Why would anyone in their right mind want to go and run circles around a large psychiatric hospital, on a cold day in November, without just checking himself in and being done with it? I have not the slightest idea? The only justification I could conceivably come up with was "the bitch made me do it"....and god I love her for it..

I wish to dedicate day 65 to my wife...the "Babe In Total Control of Herself"

“Life's a bitch, and she's got lots of sisters"---Ross Presser

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch"---Jack Nicholson

love
peter

"Mental Health Day"

And physical health day as well. My brain and my back needed a rest. So instead of training today I worked...yes I do that now and again. And instead of blogging I'm watching Dora with Kylie.


I wish to dedicate day 64 to my nephew Jason, a man who inspires me by not wasting words needlessly.


“Rest is for the weary, sleep is for the dead."---Dr Who


And to make up for the lack of my own words here are some totally unrrelated ones I came across.

....this one because it hit home to me
"Each of us wrestles with the dark giant in our own way."---Connie Zweig

....and this one because it made me think of a family trait, and made me laugh like hell.
“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”---Will Rogers

love
peter

"Flexibility"

Well I sure don't have enough of that. It amazes me when I see people who can bend down and put their hands on the floor without bending their knees, or lift one foot higher than their head. I just don't have it physically, and I should be working harder to increase mine as it is a key factor in injury prevention.
Just as importantly however I need to work on my personal flexibility. I like to have everything planned and sometime get frustrated when stuff happens. But I was pretty good this morning I think when old man winter frustrated my plans. I had spent at least a half hour getting dressed for a bike ride, only to be delayed by the fact that the replacement part for our furnace had arrived. Since we had already been without heat for almost 24 hours I decided to do that quick repair before heading out. By the time I got it done and came back upstairs it was snowing. I know it's not something that would stop Mary but alas I am a chicken when it comes to riding on icy pavement on skinny tires. Actually I'm not a chicken, I just know it would be suicide, and I know it would make my training that much harder if I were dead. So I took all those clothes off and put on a bunch of other clothes and went for a 10 k run. There will be another day for bike riding.


I wish to dedicate day 63 to my grampa Wilhelm Scheepers, the other guy I was named after. I bet he rode his bike all winter.

"Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach."---Tom Robbins

"The bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you refuse to take the turn."---Anon

...and for the educated and sophisticated types out there...
"Il y a deux sortes d'esprits, l'un geometrique, et l'autre que l'on peut appeler de finesse. Le premier a des vues lentes, dures et inflexibles; mais le dernier a une souplesse de pensee."---Pascal Blaise

love
peter

"Success"

"He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little childern; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of Earths beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best they had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction."---Bessie Anderson Stanley

It never fails to amaze me how much poets and authors seem to borrow(steal) from each other. The above is the poem Cory referred to earlier, which by the way still resides in my wallet where it's been for 14 years.(since dad died)

Here once again is the one she posted this morning....
"The definition of success - to laugh much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - this is to have succeeded."---Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I checked both parties out on Wikepedia, Bessie is acclaimed to be the author of a poem called Success, which they go on to claim is often erroneously credited to Ralph. As I researched further, it appears (appears I say) that the version credited to Ralph is indeed just a bastardized version of Bessies, which others have then erroneously attributed to Ralph. I sure hope so, because I love this little piece of wisdom, and I wouldn't want to think that Bessie stole big chunks of it. After all she didn't publish it until some years after Ralph was dead.

So what does this all have to do with the price of tea in China. Well nothing other than to make the point that this stuff is good for me, and even if it's obvious that I am struggling, it has nothing to do with writing this blog, or for that matter with my training. These 2 things are both very good for me, and I don't know where I'd be without them. Whether my challenges are still a hangover from my illness, or caused by other stuff I do not know. What I do know is that the ongoing dialogue with family and friends is a significant aspect of my mental health, and also that there are other people out there reading the comments others make and enjoy them as much if not more. Just the other day I got a great note from a friend who I did not know was a regular reader, and she commented specifically as to how she enjoyed the comments from my family and friends.

So as always thanks so much for your wise thoughts. I am a little worried however with both Roo and Mary suddenly being nice to Cory....I would watch your back Cory!!

Oh and on my training today....I went back to the hills and did the 10 I was supposed to do yesterday. I was a bit slow, and I'm a bit sore, but after all it was the first time out in somewhat colder weather, so I'm good with that. I know that I worked hard....my little voice was pushing me....

For Mary...the real problem with your teary eyes is that you're trying to watch where you're going! Just stare mindlessly at the ground, and keep pedalling! if that doesn't work for you get one of these...
http://www.bulabula.com/products/#/?catalogueId=5&categoryId=13&productId=255&modelId=1465

I wish to dedicate day 62 to my grampa, Peter Rooyakkers, because as I am reminded of my dad I think of his dad.

"Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it." ~Jacques Prévert
because....

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."---M. Scott Peck

love
peter

"That Little Voice Inside You"

"Your conscience....that little voice inside you that won't let you slack off. You know the voice. It keeps your diet in check. It drags you out of bed on saturday morning to train when every last one of your friends is still sleeping. It pounds away at you, demanding the most out of every single workout, and beats you up inside when you fail to deliver your best. It is what seperates you from the pack. Bigger, stronger, faster, better, more conditioned....that's your voice talking to you"

I got that whole spiel from an advertisement in a cycling magazine, and thought it was pretty good. It is definitely a good description of how I regularly feel. My own little voice is a constant driver for me in many positive ways

The problem is "my" little voice also has an alter ego who tells me stuff. He tells me that I'm not good enough, that I do so many things wrong. He tells me that I don't work hard enough. He reminds me constantly of some task I need to do. He tells me that I need more money and more stuff while at the same time telling me that I spend too much money. He tells me that there's not enough time, I better hurry. He tells me to feel quilty! He tells me to never, ever, ever relax! He tells me there's no hope of peace. He tells me I don't deserve it.

Someone, please, please tell me how to embrace my little voice while figuring out how to shut up his alter ego. This is not a rhetorical question.

The alter ego won out today during my workout. I went to do hills and ended up doing 2, with a walk/jog home. Too much stupid stuff on my mind.

I wish to dedicate day 61 to my good friend Kathy from Iowa who is also a survivor, and who claims to look forward to her birthdays! I'm pretty sure she listens only to her good voice.

For my little voice....
“The only tyrant I accept in this world is the 'still small voice' within"---Mahatma Gandhi

And for his alter ego....
"O Conscience, into what abyss of fears And horrors hast thou driven me, out of which I find no way, from deep to deeper plunged".----John Milton

love
peter

"The Numbers---3.8 and 4"

Two really cool numbers!

I knew that I would have to make swimming my priority today as I have not been feeling very good about it. The last several times I went to the pool I just couldn't get into it, usually making some kind of excuse. So my intent today was to do 2000 metres, as I had just once before. I also expected of course to do it in the same time, just under 50 minutes. Well, it did not start out very well again. I had to share a lane which I find very stressful. I'm always veering over and smacking my hands on the lane ropes becasue I'm worried about the guy coming the other way. So after a few lengths I already knew that I was going to be slower and so I set my mind to just get it over with. At some point however , after I finally had the lane to myself, I decided that I needed to be punished for being slow, and so I committed to 2500 metres, and then when I was close to that point I decided on 3000....and... if a fellow can swim 3000 metres, he can certainly go 3800 or 3.8k. Which coincidentally is the swim distance in an Ironman triathlon. Yup....I did so....a slow 1 hr, 42 min's but who cares eh? At least I know I can do it. I definitely was not very smooth, but other than the boredom I felt fine the whole trip. There should be no reason that I can't work that down to 1 1/2 hours in the pool, as in the old days I could do it in 1hr 20min's. And then of course the old westsuit will be another advantage come race day, as it is a greater advantage for poor swimmers like myself.....so thats 3.8!

Despite being happy with that, swimming just doesn't give you that spent feeling I like to have so I decided at about 5 pm to go for a little jog around the psych. It's 4.6 k and so hopefully it would be just enough to give me that pleasantly tired feeling. I also needed to calm my nerves a little as for some reason I was being a little short with my family....sorry guys! Of course they say that every workout should have a purpose beyong just working out, and so I decided to tackle the old 4 minute kilometre on the last stretch home. The result...3 mins, 58 seconds...woohoo. It was a little wind aided and I knew that in advance but I don't care. It has been several years since I have run a 4 minute kilometre and I'm gonna take it.

So both the 3.8 and the 4 are positive signs of continuing improvement, and I feel very good about it. I guess I'll just keep on keepin on eh?

For Teresa....I'd rather piss down my leg then strap a funnel to my crotch!!!...and yes please record the news for us will ya?

I wish to dedicate day 60 to my brother in law Rob, who's a good husband and father and above all a good man!

and on numbers...

“My theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted, if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end.---Tom Seaver

“If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."---Homer Simpson

love
peter

"Committed!"

Either I am???....or maybe I should be???...I'm not sure which. We woke up to a nasty day this morning. Chilly and raining. I didn't really know what I was going to do as I was scheduled to do some kind of tough bike workout, but certainly not in this weather. As tough as I think I am, I couldn't imagine spending 4 or 5 hours out in the cold rain. I was still pondering it when Roo came back from her run with what sounded like a reasonable compromise. Ride for 50k and then run for 10. That actually sounded not bad, because I knew that if I could only endure the bike portion in this crap that the running might actually be a relief. So that became the plan. After about an hour of getting ready...shorts, hoody, shirt, tights, socks, socks again, hat, jacket, shoes, gloves camelback, energy gel and bike....not to mention that I also had to prepare, dry socks, hat, gloves, shoes, towel and water for my run afterwards, I finally headed out. I started around my 50 k loop in my normal clockwise direction, or at least up to the first corner. At that point, I considered the wind and made the decision to change direction and turned right. That meant that the first 7 k would be with the wind instead of the last 7 k against it, so of course it felt great right off.

At about 7 k however I suddenly felt something wrong with my left shoe. It seemed to have way too much movement. It didnt take me long to figure out that the cleat on the bottom of my boot had come loose. Hmmm? for a moment I considered just continuing until I realized that at the very least I could easily loose one of the 3 screws, and becasue they are special it would be a pain in the butt to replace. So picture this. Its raining pretty good by now, I'm standing on one foot in a puddle, with my bike leaning up against a hydro pole, my shoe off, trying to dig my little tool kit ouf of my bag, all the while trying to keep my unclad foot dry. Well, somehow I got the cleat tightened, got the boot back on my foot and then tried to get my tool back into the bag where it didnt want to go becuse I couldnt figure out how to collapse it again. But finally I rammed it in, and proceeded to bend down to tie my shoe, only to have my camelback slide over my shoulders and hit me in the back of the head ...nice ....remember it's 4 degrees and raining!

But I got everything back together and headed out again, and was actually still feeling ok. That lasted for about 10 minutes when I suddenly realized, guess what? Yes you got it...I was wearing 2 shoes. So after another hydro pole and another 10 minutes (both feet soaked now), and another bonk in the back of the head, I was back in the saddle again. Oh did I mention that both of my hands were wet and frozen by this time, as I had my heavy mitts, which of course I had to remove to do my repairs.

So ok, away we go again still feeling very committed, determined not to let this noise get to me. The second leg of my trip was almost wind neutral and so I was chugging along fairly well when I realized that I had to pee. I had a large coffee with my breakfast before I left and had been drinking steadily up until this point. Well on any given day in the summer this is no problem. Just pull over at a bush and do your thing. But in this case it would mean nearly undressing as I wear these suspender style shorts with 2 layers on top of them. So I had the option of holding it, or peeeing in my pants. I chose option 'b' and before you think this is pretty disgusting please know that I need to practice this anyway. It is considered perfectly normal to do so in longer triathlons and believe it or not it is not as easy to do as it sounds. After a life time of holding it there is a certain psychological barrier to just letting it run down your leg. And that's exactly what it did...run down my leg and into my left boot. How did I know this? Well easy. It was warm. Why my left leg I don't actually know, as the wind was from that side so it could not have been the cause. The only thing I can guess is that it was a factor of positioning, so to speak. I should also mention that I was a little surprised to have so much yellow liquid running down my leg as it wouldn't have done so until the chamois in my shorts was completely soaked. So now to compound wet feet, and wet hands, I was effectively riding down the road in a wet diaper!

Anyway, with a nice sense of relief, a temporarily warm left foot, and only 25 k to go I was still hanging in. Except my computer said that I had only gone 20 k, which I didn't understand as I knew very well where the halfway point of this loop was. Oh well, I probably hit the reset inadvertantly at some point or else the rain had messed with the unit, so I didn't worry about it anymore.

The next leg of about 10k was directly into the north wind, and boy it was not fun. I was barely managing 20 k/hr and my feet were starting to chill a little. Fortunately for my left leg and foot my bladder was full again. It was easier this time as my inhibitions were apparently diminishing. It was also on this section of road that I suddenly figured out that there was nothing wrong with my computer. Because of the direction change that I had made just into the ride I had cut almost 5 k off the trip! I had forgotten. Oh well I thought, 45 k would be just fine. So on home I headed. When I got there however I just couldn't accept 45 k and so I stuck the 5 k back in at the end, and arrived home glad to be there.

So into the back room; dry socks, hat gloves and shoes and away I went again. Of course I was still in my wet diaper. After 5 minutes I had a loose shoe lace which I had to retie 3 times before I got it right, but lo and behold the rest of the run was uneventful and much to my surprise, actually fairly easy.

So in the end, my 50k bike ride took about 2 hours, my little transition about 10 minutes, and my 10k was actually under 55 minutes, which pleasantly surprised me.
And that was that....committed! or committed?

Before I go I need to tell you briefly about our visitor of yesterday. Janine Grespan of CTV news. She was a very outgoing, animated, bright lady and Roo and I had a good visit with her and the cameraman Buck. They took me out and did a bunch of filming on my bike which I really enjoyed, and then there was probably a half hour of interview. The 2 segments of about 2 1/2 minutes each will air on November 25th and December 2nd during the six oclock CTV Southwestern Ontario news. Unfortunately we do not get the right channel here as it is only on cable so we may have to go and visit somebody a few times. She also said it would probably air on the noon news the following day(s).

I wish to dedicate day 59 to my brother in law 'beaudacious' Bernie, who knows what commitment means.

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.---Unknown

AND

“The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.---Unknown

love
peter

"Priorities"

I could spend time on my blog, or I could go back out to the kitchen and spend more time celebrating my birthday with this beautiful group, all of who either live at my house or very nearby. Did I enjoy my day?.....a pictures worth a thousand words.





.


I wish to dedicate day 58 to my new friend and cancer survivor Janine Grespan who I will tell you all about tomorrow.


"Getting old is a fascinating thing. The older you get, the older you want to get".--- Ralph Waldo Emerson


love
peter

"Small Miracles"

I think....I'm not 100 percent sure but I think... that last night I slept from midnight until 7 am without getting out of bed! That is a small miracle and the first time it has happened in more than a year.. Maybe again tonite eh?
A slow training day today. I am still tired and sore from yesterdays long run and from the previous days "cross training". It finally dried up enough by late afternoon to allow a short bike ride(35k) and I'm satisfied with that. I have decided to give myself a mental break as well, as I have little enthusiasm for my blog tonite, even though I do feel relatively peaceful.

Janine Grespan will be here tomorrow to interview me. She told me today that the whole deal will be two, 2 1/2 minute clips and I could expect to be about 30 seconds of that....my brief shining moment!

I wish to dedicate day 57 to another small miracle...who else but Daniel Slessor Jr....my new grandnephew!







“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”---Albert Einstein


love
peter

"Maybe"

My granddaughters new favorite word. I heard her use it 3 times in a row this morning, every time in response to questions asking if she had interest in certain activities. Where does a little kid learn the "maybe" word. I know exactly where....from me and perhaps a few other adults who I am sure she hears use it regularly, and perhaps even on her. We use it when we're not up to doing something or satisfying some request, and yet we don't want to hurt anothers feelings by outright saying no, and so instead default to the big "maybe" It occurred to me that "maybe" we even use the word on ourselves at times. I know I do. I tell myself "maybe" so that I won't have to face the reality of knowing that I don't have the courage or the strength to do something that I know is probably good for me. And I tell you that it always works. When I say "maybe" to myself inevitably it ends up being "no". And then I can drift along secure in the knowledge that I never broke a commitment to myself....maybe....something to think about.

I had a very good run today. Twenty-five kilometres in just over 2 hours, 20 minutes. Much to my surprise it was more than 5 minute faster than my last long one, also 25k. Must be the crosstraining eh? I am definitely getting stronger. My heart rate was just over 130 for most of the first 2 hours, and up til that point it felt quite effortless. It did start to climb then but I think not drinking enough became a factor at that point, so what else is new.

I went to the pool tonite as well, but my shoulders were quite sore from the post hole stuff and so I just messed around a bit. Tomorrow, bike riding I hope depending on the weather....they are warning of rain however so I'll have to wait and see.

I wish to dedicate day 56 to my nephew Tim who makes me proud to know his mother.

And for no other reason than that he's Teresa's favorite.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go."---Dr Seuss

love
peter

"Cross Training"

The beauty of triathlon is that it is cross training in and of itself. Never the less there are all kinds of other healthy things you can do, both to give your body a break from it's usual routine, and also for overall conditioning. You can cross country ski or you can do yoga, there's bowling, disc golf, football, kayaking, rowing, or canoeing, and of course you can weight lift, or parachute, play water polo or the kind on a horse. Then there's gymnastics, or squash, tennis and handball, or even ping pong if you like. Don't forget judo, karate, ju-jitsu, tae-kwon-do or kickboxing. Or if you really think you're fit you can play underwater hockey.
But....I have the granddaddy of all crosstraining ideas. Digging post holes! Yup...digging post holes. Of course there's many different kinds of post hole digging as well. There's the kind done exclusively with a shovel or the kind done exclusively with a machine, or the kind we did today,the kind with a manually operated machine. We(Roo and I) excavated 51 post holes. I did 48 and she did 3!! Of course she did the ones that were accessible only by shovel. She also happily let me do the one where there was a risk of hittng the hydro line....hmmm...
So what's the point of this, other than to tell you that the fence is to keep our grandchildern locked in their yard. The point is to tell you how good it felt. Even thought the machine is doing most of the work it still takes some serious wrestling on the part of the operator. This was really the first time that I actually did a days manual labour since my recovery and I am glad to report how almost effortless it was. My back is a bit sore now and my hands and forearms as well, but it just felt plain good. The next time will be easier yet. And even though I joked about crosstraining, I seriously believe that it was good for me to do this today, instead of a planned long run. I can do that tomorrow.
I'll keep you posted.

Yesterday I made contact with a guy who lives 10 minutes from us and who did Ironman Canada this past year. He is my age and I think he is going to be a great resource.

For your smile of the day I give you this. I was at the grocery store picking up a few things including eggs. When checking the price of the various offerings I noticed that there seemed to be a big disparity. On closer inspection I realized that the more expensive ones were labelled as "double yolk". How I ask you do they know? Are they guaranteed? Do they have special chickens that lay these special eggs or do they x-ray them or what? You got me I'll tell ya...

For Teresa....i think the flip mitts may have some potential. I'm gonna see what I can find

I wish to dedicate day 55 to my brother in law Mike, who i think of so often.

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."___Dr Seuss

love
peter

"What I Learned Today"

1)Its getting cold outside.
2)It's not much fun to ride your bike when it's cold.
3)No matter how many pairs of gloves you wear they are not the same as mittens.
4)Shot Bloks no longer taste like ju-jubes in the cold, but rather they taste like frozen ju-jubes.
5)It takes almost as long to dress for cold weather riding, as the ride itself.

Of course any day that you learn something must be a good day eh, so lets call it as such. I will be better prepared next time. As it was I had 2 bottom layers, 3 top layers, 2 pairs of socks, and 2 head covers but I still have layers I can add. The biggest mistake I made however was the gloves. I had put some of those ju-jube things in my new little bag(whick I really like by the way) and realizing that with my heavy mitts on I would never be able to extricate them, I chose to go with 2 pairs of goves instead. I should know better than that.
It occurred to me that the gloves/mittens choice could kind of be a metaphor for life within society. When things are good(when it's warm) wearing gloves is like living in your own little cocoon, safe and protected from the world. But when things turn tough(when it gets cold) you will appreciate the closeness of friends and family(the shared warmth of a mitten) that you may not have relized you needed in better times. The warmth that you may have actually even turned away, to avoid the closeness(the skin contact of the mitten).
The big problem is of course the wind. It just cuts through everything when your riding against it. Claudette had a great idea which means more sacrifice on her part but it is something I will have to take her up on at times. The thought is that she will drive me and my bike upwind so that I can pedal home with the wind or vice versa, come and get me from wherever the wind blows me. When you think about the effort on her part, if I decide to ride 15O kms, she will have to drive 300!! Thanks dear!
Other good things...my new helmet was super. I never pushed it off my forehead once. Also the camelback drinking thing worked very well. I was pleaseantly surprised. And probably more importantly than my fingers, my toes were pretty good. I don't know if I mentioned it but I have a pair of winter cycling shoes that I bought when I got my bike. I think that with one more pair of wool socks I will be fine for even colder weather. Not that it was that cold today....just above freezing when I left, but like I said...the wind is the killer. It was 20 kph when I headed out, and over 30 when I got back from my abbreviated ride.(35 kms)

I wish to dedicate day 54 to my nephew Jeff for whom I wish success with that guitar.

"And every man knew, as the captain did too, twas the witch of november come stealin"---Gordon Lightfoot

love
peter

"Why Run Hills?"

Because it feels so good when you stop! And I had to do 10 of them because Claudette did 10 a few days ago. Got to keep up with the Regniers you know. Hills are so hard and for this very reason I know how beneficial they are. I am totally knocked out. The challenge is to run hard and steady, and to maintain your pace right through to the end. I was getting up the hills in 2 mins, 30 sec's and closer to 3 minutes down. If this seems strange it's because the intent on the way down is to recover almost completely, before tackling the next one. Believe me the 3 minutes goes by much faster than the 2 1/2! My last hill was 2' 25" so mission accomplished. Combined with my warmup and cooldown jog's I got a total of 15k. I went downstairs to do my little strength workout tonite but it was really only for show.

While I write I'm watching a special tribute to Leonard Cohen performed by Canadian musicians, and as much as I love him, and am always blown away by his lyrics, he has written some very melancholy music. Some of it makes me kind of sad. Check out a singer named Serena Ryder if you have never heard of her....she is very good.

That's all I have today, other than to remind you all how much I appreciate you, my family and friends.

I wish to dedicate day 53 to my neice Erin, just for gifting her mom with those 3 beautiful grandchildern!

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."---Shel Silverstein

And just because......

"Here I stand, I'm your man"---Leonard Cohen

love
peter

"Ever so Slowly"

Easy runs are getting easier....but ever so slowly. I ran the block today in 39 mins 20 seconds in relative ease. For comparison I think the first time I ran it some time in June I was about 46 minutes, and at that time it was still a lot of effort. On the other end of the scale I once ran it (years ago) in just over 29 minutes. But the important thing today was simply the fact that it was easy.

But.....not easy enough or fast enough yet. I need "logarithmic" improvement! I need "quantum" growth. If you don't know what either of them means you'll have to go ask Teresa because I don't freakin know either! They just sounded good to me. Don't bother to ask Cory because I guarantee you she would have to make somehting up on this one. I do know that high levels of improvement will have to happen over the next 4 to 5 months because eventually the 'law of diminishing returns" will start to be a factor....I do know what that one means.
Most of the time I believe the necessary change will come in time.

Along with my easy run, I also had a decent swim tonite. I went 2000 metres in 49 mins and 49 seconds. Also slow compared to the old days but again it is steady improvement. It is the first time I did 2k nonstop, and overall my swimming has improved by about 15% over the last month. So I guess I just keep working and hope that it will all come together at some point.

I achieved a few other things today. I went to the bike shop and got some new things. A helmet which fits much better than my old one, a camel back drinking system which Roo suggested months ago, and a little storage bag which attaches nicely to my top tube, just behind the handlebars. I also got to thinking about Ellys' suggestion of some kind of capsule you could pop into your mouth and I was reminded of something I seen at the running store. I went and checked it out and bought something called Clif Shot Bloks. They look and taste like big ju-jubes about 3/4" square, and have about 35 calories each. I tried a couple and I think I will be able to get them down. They should also sit nicely in my new little bag where they'll be easily accessible. Of course they cost about 1.5 cents per calorie which is pretty steep to say the least. Maybe I should check out the food value of ju-jubes eh?

So that's about it for today. Thanks for all the "looking forward" suggestions even if I didn't really hear anything too practical.

A few smiles from the last few days.
Did you know that if you swim long enough wearing good fitting goggles that your eyes will actually fog up. Yes, strange but true. I remember the first time it happened to me I almost freaked, because you don't know it until you take your' goggles off. I don't know how the phenomenon works, but it does clear up after about 10 minutes....maybe this one would be worth asking the high mother superior about eh?
I also thought it was funny this morning to get advice from old John on ways to improve my peripheral vision eh....lmao!
And here's one that made me chuckle yesterday while out on my bike. I saw 5 hunters heading off into the bush all dressed in matching, extremely bright, fluorescent orange vests. Underneath the vests they all wore camouflage clothing???

I wish to dedicate day 52 to my niece Lisa who has both her mothers beauty and her kindness.

And on why I keep pushing on even when it seems hard....

"I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams."---Dr Jonas Salk

love
peter

"Looking Forward"

What I need is a "front" view mirror. When I am riding in the aero position the comfortable place for my eyes is straight down at the road. It is the natural position for your head, and to compound that in my own situation there is the fact that I wear glasses(the top bar always seems to be in the way) and the fact that my neck has lost a lot of mobility. It causes a lot of tension to keep it up enough to look forward. So what do I do? I scan. I constantly peek and then look back down. The problem is that you're never sure if you've looked enough and this creates a certain stress, wondering what's ahead. And it's not always the obvious things like cars, or crossroads, but also the road kill and the dogs, both of which can have you on the side of the road in a pile very quickly. So what I need is a "front" view mirror. I thought about this problem many times in the past but now I want to try to dream something up. The challenges are 1)where to mount it as there simply isn't room or an obvious place directly below my head, primarily because that's where my water bottle sits, and 2) everything in the mirror will be upside down....I think? But I'm gonna dream something up. If I could eliminate the twin problems of a stiff neck and a sore undercarriage it would go a long way towards improving my riding comfort and comfort translates to speed. I am also going to get a new helmet because this one constantly rides down over my eyes no matter how I adjust the straps. Besides I'm gonna have to look good for my CTV interview with Janine, which has been confirmed for next friday the 14th. She wants to film me training as well.


So it's probably obvious that I rode today, and it was an adventure to say the least. First there was good old mother nature who continually turns up the wind when I head out. The difficulty at this time of year is the fact that the winds are the quietest early in the morning, when of course it is also the coldest, so you can't win. It was about 15k/hr today....not too bad but not fun either.
At about 30k there were the dogs. (3 of them) I knew they were there somewhere as I had seen them a week or so ago, on a road that I have been riding dog-free for 15 years. Today however I hadn't been ready for them when suddenly this black blur was hurtling itself across the road at me. I'll tell you it is amazing what happens to your mind and body faster than you even know it is happening. You almost instantly move from fear to clear headedness. You suddenly have extra strength and confidence. I start riding as hard as I can but am still able to focus on control. I know the worst thing dogs can do to you at this speed is knock you off the bike. So I quickly move away from the shoulder, get my hands firmly on the handlebars instead of the aerobars, and start yelling aggressively. I also hope that a car comes along and runs them over which is a real possibility because dogs that chase bikes lose all sense of anything else around them. Generally this strategy works and I thought it had today as well until I relaxed for a minute, only to find one of them still sneaking up on me....so more yelling and hard riding and finally I was away. I guess it's adrenaline that allows you to handle such things and and that's a cool thing. Unfortunately it's a short lived kind of drug and within a short time reality sets back in and the pain of maintainig your pace re-ensues. Then shortly after that there was the half racoon on the road that I just seen in time. I don't know where the other half was, nor did I care, and then at about 60k I was suddenly struck very hard right in the chin by something. It was either a very large bug(not probable at this time of year) or something that fell out of a tree. At about the same time I realized I had lost one of my energy gels that I had tucked into the top of my water bottle. At about 70K I decided to consume my one remaining gel, and when attempting to wash it down with some water I found I could no longer reach my drinking straw. Some how I had lost the top half of it!! Anyway despite all this I continued to plod along but then I remembered...I was on the second leg of a 50k loop and you know what that means. Whatever I experienced the first time around would probably be there again. The problem was I didn't know exactly where the dogs lived and so I had about 1o minutes of stress with every house I passed. But alas....the puppies must have been taken inside, which is just as well for them, and their owners. I think I will take a drive out there tomorrow anyway and issue some threats. The thing is I'm sure these people probably have no idea that their dogs even chase people. I'm pretty sure that they are just normal pets, but it amazes me how so many dog owners have no idea what happens to their animals when they see a bike. I read somewhere that the spinning wheel sets off some kind of strobe effect for them that initiates a deeply ingrained hunter instinct.
So as to the success of my ride besides all that?....Well my first loop was just under 30k/hr and so I thought I had a chance to finish at over 30k/hr for 100k. I had decided by 50, that 100 was all I was going to do, despite an earlier thought to do 150. Anyway to reach 30k/hr for the 100 I would have to ride the second half a little bit faster than the first. Some how I toughed it out with about 20 seconds to spare. I am generally happy with this. When I can do twice that distance at the same speed I will be satisfied with my biking, and I do believe it's reachable. I do have to figure out some different strategy for nutrition and hydration however. I took only sports drink and gels today but it wasn't the best to say the least. The drink burns my throat, and half the gel is wasted trying to get it squeezed out of the package. I feel overtired tonite and I'm pretty sure it's because I just didn't get enough fuel. I was planning on going swimming but wimped out due to fatigue. Oh well....I will go to the bike shop and get some ideas, on how to carry bananas and such. They also sell gel in bulk with special little squeeze bottles to carry it in. It's all good learning for the big day anyway. See you tomorrow.

Oh! I almost forgot. I went to the cancer doctor today. All's good as promised. Strange thing when I was sittting there waiting however. I was suddenly very emotional. I think I felt quilty?? I wondered about every person I seen.....what's his or her story?....would so and so be as lucky as me?....would it be this guy, or this woman who wasn't going make it?

I wish to dedicate day 51 to Claudette, for always considering my training a priority. It is as big a commitment for her as for me.

And I leave you with this because when I read it I laughed out loud and thought, someone wrote this especially for me.

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.---Douglass Adams

love
peter

"So Here I Sit"

So here I sit! In San Luis Potosi airport at 5:30 in the morning, realizing that I could have slept for at least another half hour. I was a little nervous however as I would be going to the airport in the dark and many of the road signs are poorly lit to say the least. But I got here no problem and here I sit. My plane leaves at 6:40 for Houston where it will also be a bit nerve racking. Although I have 90 minutes connection time I will have to clear American immigration there. As much as I, like many others, was inspired by my American friends on their national election day, I don’t think that Mr Obama will have made much change in the attitude of their paranoid customs and immigration folks. But I’m sure I will manage to make it all in time. The good thing is that I am travelling with the same airline all the way through. This means that I am already checked in for the second leg of my flight, which also means they know I am coming. They will generally wait until the very last moment to close the airplane door on a passenger they know should be on the way. I’ve even seen them wait longer when a passenger is late arriving from a connecting flight, if that connecting flight is one of their own.

So here I sit! Thank god they didn’t take my water bottle when I came through security here. They just made me promise to drink it all before I got on the plane. Yah Right! It’s one of the biggest flying hassles I have as I try to always anticipate my opportunities to keep something with me. It’s not too bad in the US and Canada. As long as I keep an empty bottle with me I can usually find a fountain to fill it, but in Mexico that’s something you just don’t do. To compound the constant need for water, there is the accompanying constant need for a bathroom, and again I always try to anticipate as much as possible. The worst time is the stretch before and after takeoff and landing, when you can’t get at a ground toilet, nor an airplane toilet.

So here I sit! On this little three quarters of an airplane(2 seats on one side and one on the other), all scrunched up and unable to stretch, freezing my butt off, but “with” my water bottle. I thought they were going to trust me to drink it before boarding but they had another little surprise in store for us and that was another luggage search….the third one…just before letting us on the plane. But I seen it coming and managed to move my bottle from my luggage to my pocket just in time. I smiled inwardly as the young lady thoroughly went through my dirty underwear, and not once looked up at me. The bulge in my pocket was obvious and it wasn’t because I was excited to meet her! I always make a point of putting my used socks and underwear on the very top when I pack to go home….is that nasty of me? One thing I didn’t anticipate (again) was the need for food. I must get better at this when I travel. Because of my limitations I need to bring my own at times. They just gave us a snack but it didn’t do much for me. I tried the granola bar(impossible) the bagel chips(managed a few) and the raisins which actually went down quite well. I see them as a future travelling food source. Relatively high in calories for their bulk, and no fat at all. I know it may seem crazy but old thinking patterns are so hard to break, and I still find myself thinking that “not” eating is a good thing. Especially when I have had very little exercise. I suppose only time will change this destructive habit. Time and continuing evidence that I “can” eat well and still not get fat. Intellectually I know it’s working as I can feel the long stored fat leaving my ribs. The evidence is in the extra skin I now seem to have, and once I have come to accept it on an emotional level I will probably be able to put this one to rest. The fact is that If I can’t eat potato chips, and I don’t enjoy eating pizza or drinking beer, I will probably never get fat again. I do consider these facts a blessing rather than a curse. I can tell you that it is the strangest experience to feel my pants getting looser and the scales not showing any change at all. It is the first time in my life that this has happened to me.
So here I sit! This plane actually left the ground at SLP 5 minutes before planned departure which is almost unheard of, and as such I should have a comfortable connection in Houston. Maybe I’ll even be able to get a bite to eat.

And because I have nothing better to do I’m gonna tangent way off for a minute. Did anyone have the same bizarre sensation that I did when they seen Obama and his family come out on the stage in Grant Park(home of Lolapalooza by the way) the other night? It was almost surreal. It felt like I was watching a movie or some kind of politically correct advertisement, or even more crazy some kind of skit from Saturday Night Live. It wasn’t so much Obama himself but to see his spouse and those charming kids waving to the cheers was truly remarkable. They were all black skinned for crying out loud….unfreakinbelievable!!!! I am no more a fan of Obama then I am any other politician(within a year we will know all his lies), and yet it must mean something good about humanity eh, that so many people would make such a powerful statement. The only damp feeling I got as relates to the whole American election was the success of prop 8 in California. If you don’t know what that is look it up. Unfortunately I’m afraid that my old nemesis, organized religion was responsible for this one. The catholic church (as many Californians are Spanish catholic) and the Mormon church which apparently contributed hundreds of millions of dollars to the campaign to support this proposition. The Mormons sitting in judgement of the morality of others beliefs or practices! Absurd! It makes me both sad and angry. Oh well….it does make me proud to be a Canadian where even the catholics are much more progressive! To counter that bit of negative however is the great feeling I got watching the pain in Bill O’reilly’s eyes as he tries to come to terms with the idea that a black man is now his President. This cruel bigoted racist, sexist, homophobic , fear mongering, near monstrous cartoon of a man will hopefully become a thing of the past as the decency of the world outpaces his lunacy. I sure hope so. If you don’t know who O’Reilly is you don’t need to find out….I wouldn’t even recommend it.

So here I sit! At my gate in Houston fully an hour before my flight. I was warned about this airport as it is very large, but so far I have found it very user friendly. Lots of walking, but I don’t mind that. It is infinitely better than sitting, eh Mary? And I always….and I mean always, get everywhere faster than everyone else. One of my favorite tricks is to pass people who are also walking but on a conveyor belt beside me. That always gets some funny looks, as they think they’re really motoring until you outpace them. I swear some people look at you with envy, as if you found a faster belt or something. I have scarfed down a Wendy’s big breakfast sandwich along with my low fat milk. Boy I’m good! I also have a new water bottle in hand as they finally got my other one. I found myself caught not anticipating the next situation. Immigration was a piece of cake. I definitely find at most American airports that a Canadian passport gets you a decent reception. Contrast that to my usual border crossing at Windsor/Detroit and it is refreshing. Probably it’s because those guys hear lots of BS from lots of Canadians all day long. I also had a smile while passing through security as I heard something which reminded me of a little segment I seen on CNN last night. The piece was about this guy who had been collecting political paraphernalia for many years , and after showing off some of his stuff he professed to be proud to be an American, as opposed he said “ to living in some parts of the world where collecting this kind of stuff could get you arrested”. The smile came to me when I heard this announcement on the public address system as I was approaching the inspection area, and I quote…”inappropriate remarks could lead to your arrest”…..hmmm? So print it on your bumper sticker, your tie, your lapel pin, or even your ass, but don’t say it out loud I guess?

So here I sit. New plane, some conditions. I was hoping to get bumped to business class, which happens fairly frequently because of my “Elite” status, but no such luck this time. By the way, you get to be elite not by doing anything special other than getting on airplanes a lot. I think maybe one more year of this stuff and then I will try to find something less nomadic. I do have an aisle seat, which I desperately try to pre-arrange, and it looks like maybe I won’t have anyone sitting beside me. Anyway, they’re closing the airplane doors, so in the famous words of a famous but very strange man, who I think is still the governor of California, “I’ll be back”.

So here I sit. No one beside me thankfully, and only a couple of hours to go to Detroit. I’ve been a little frustrated this trip because I forgot my ipod at home and so am making do listening to some music I have on my computer. Unfortunately the only headphones I have are these cheesy airline ones, and for some reason they will only play at a reduced volume. But I’m gonna plug them in anyway, and try to do a little work, something of which there is never a shortage. Hey! They they just brought us something to eat. Not much mind you but something. A little wee turkey sandwich, a small bag of ruffles, and an even smaller bag of M&M’s. I got most of the sandwich down, will save the M&M”s for one of my new neighbours, and as god is my witness, If I thought there would be any pleasure in it at all, I would eat that bag of potato chips right now! Man I am blessed eh? Just one more example of how seemingly bad things can prove to have so many good things come with them.

So here I sit! In the car on the way home from Detroit airport. What an incredible November 5th in southern Ontario! I am going to force myself to go for a run when I get home even though I know I will not feel like it by then. I also intend on adding a few of those sprints I mentioned that are going to increase my production of HGH. We have what I suppose should be a big day tomorrow as I go to see Dr Hammond at the clinic for a checkup. However I honestly just consider it a formality. Somehow I believe I will know long before the doctors do if there is something wrong again. After all I certainly did the first time. Hopefully Colby will be able to come along for the ride. After all, the best moments of my whole cancer trip were those when he was taking care of me in one way or another. There is also still the possibility that we will be doing the TV thing tomorrow, but as of now at least I have not gotten confirmation from her. I did tell her that she could let me know at the last moment if necessary so I’ll just wait and see.

So here I sit. At home after a decent run (I did the block in 35 mins and 35 secs) and after a decent meal. My grandchildern are sitting beside me watching Dora, while my son is gone to the gym. As I reflect back on my day of sitting I feel pretty content....aaaahhhhh....So Here I Sit.

I wish to dedicate day 50 to Bill O’Reilly who I'm gonna pray for, and who’s lucky that I don’t believe in hell! As it is I think he's gonna have to go to purgatory with Sister Michaela!

And it's musical quote day so this ones for Bill....
"Come gather round people wherever you roam And admit that the waters around you have grown. And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone. If your time to you is worth savin'. Then you better start swimmin' or you'll sink like a stone For the times they are a-changin'.----Bob Dylan

And for organized religion there's this....
"Open up the gates of the church and let me out of here! Too many people have lied in the name of Christ for anyone to heed the call. So many people have died in the name of Christ that I can't believe it all"---Graham Nash

And lastly for sitting.
"Oh I'm on my way, I know I am, somewhere not so far from here. All I know is all I feel right now, I feel the power growing in my hair. Sitting on my own not by myself, everybodys here with me. I dont need to touch your face to know, and I dont need to use my eyes to see"---Cat Stevens

love
peter

"From Lazy to Stir Crazy"

Yesterday I was ok with just feeling lazy, but today I'm feeling caged. Because I don't know this area at all I can't go jogging and the treadmill just doesn't work for me. I managed about 25 minutes and then couldn't stand it any longer. I should have done the stairs perhaps, but that ain't much fun either. So I tried to do some stretching in my room, and a few pushups and stuff, and I suppose I will survive until I get home late tomorrow afternoon. Then I can get back outside where I prefer to live a large part of my life. It is a beautiful thing about our country that we have such varied weather. I love the entire range of it.

I had planned on going back to Mexico next week but those plans have changed and so next week I intend on working my butt off in all 3 disciplnes. I hope that will also mean that I will have some more inspiring thoughts to share than my recent pathetic attempts.

Speaking of pushups, I remember a funny moment when I first started trying to regain my strength, was the day that I could do 5 pushups and I was so proud. It took me a few moments to realize that I was doing them from my knees!! For the last 2 days in a row I have done 30 nonstop!!

I wish to dedicate day 49 to my boss Scott Turner, who has earned my respect for the boss he is, but much more so for the person he is.

And, because I fail to inspire I give you the thought's of others to do so.

1)on being trapped--“There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."----Stephen Wright

2)on the need to rum--"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."---Anonymous

And finally on the mind body connection--"There are people who have no bodies, only heads. And many athletes have no heads, only bodies. A champion is a man who has trained his body and his mind, who has learned to conquer pain for his own purposes. A great athlete is at peace with himself and at peace with the world; he has fulfilled himself. He envies nobody. Wars are caused by people who have not fulfilled themselves." ---Sam Dee

Viva con pasion...
love
peter

"Lazy Day"

I have done nothing today! And I don't plan on doing anything! Not even posting anything significant on this blog.
I hope that's ok?

But I do wish to dedicate this quiet day 48 to the father of my friend Ky who recently left us.

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy." --Charlie McCarthy

love
peter

"Human Growth Hormone"

Ben Johnson did it! Marion Jones did it! Barry Bonds did it….oh, no, no, no …not Barry…sorry Barry!

Yes they all did it! They cheated! Yes cheated! No other word for it, I’m afraid. But if it’s good enough for them, it should be good enough for me so I’m gonna do it too. Of course I can’t pretend to be as noble as them , since they all did it for the easily justifiable reasons of potential fame and fortune, and I’m just gonna do it to feel good. Also I can’t afford the high priced chemicals and doctors that they had available to them so I will have to come up with something cheaper…..and this is it….Human Growth Hormone(HGH). Yup! Human Growth Hormone! Would you believe that your very own body produces this stuff and that according to my recent health mentor and author(John Ratey) you can produce more of it at will, despite the fact that as you age its production normally decreases. This same guy believes that it is a significant factor in mental health,(for a bunch of technical reasons I can’t understand) and to top it all off he believes that it is the secret ingredient in shedding those final pounds of fat that the body wants to hoard as a survival technique. He also states the HGH is a key factor in building muscle.

So how to do it? Intense anaerobic activity. Simple as that, and not even that much. He recommends 5 to 6 all out sprints of 20 to 30 seconds duration, perhaps 3 times per week. The whole thing kind of hit home with me, particularly the body fat promise, because of a long term personal belief around running and body fat. As long as I have been running the accepted philosophy was that long, slow running is the way to go to get rid of that spare tire. You can read it proclaimed in every runners manual and I’m sure it’s true to a point, but I always wondered why, at any marathon you go to and watch the later runners come to the finish(the long slow runners), that inevitably a large portion of them carried a little extra weight. The guys around their waist, and the girls around their hips, despite the fact that all of these people have probably been running for 10 to 15 hours every week for months on end. I always believed that you had to mix in some very intense workouts as well.

So….I would normally have started to add some kind of track workouts early in the spring anyway, but I have decided to immediately add these sprints into my easy runs. Not on any formal basis, but just whenever I am tired and taking it easy. I may even do it just for fun as a separate workout up and down the laneway, since it will take so little time. I am very convinced that it is going to have an impact. Human Growth Hormone….who would have thought it? Maybe I’ll get taller, ya think? Let’s see what happens.

As to today’s training I did as planned. A short bike ride with some intensity. I did 40k in just over 1 hour 20 minutes for an average speed of 29k/hr. Not very fast I’m afraid, but I’m just fine with it. When you’re living on the edge you’re always going to be a bit bagged and I know it from previous experience. I am re-learning to tell the difference between normal tired and “ya better take a break” tired. Today I was ok for sure.

I’m actually on a plane to Mexico as I write so I will be able to rest up a bit for the next few days. Speaking of which, I will land in the US at an airport I have never seen before(Houston), change terminals there and catch my connection in 56 minutes, fly to a city in Mexico where I’ve never been before(San Luis Potosi), get my rental car and then try to find my hotel. I hope to arrive there by midnite local time which is 1 am eastern. Before you start feeling sorry for me however(as if anyone out there would consider it) please know that I chose this late itinerary. It was the only way I could get a workout in before I left, so it’s well worth it to me.

On another note, it looks like I’m going to be interviewed this Friday at the Cancer Clinic by CTV for their planned little series on head and neck cancers that I mentioned. Thanks to Teresa for initiating this thing for me. Hopefully I don’t look like too much of an ass. Of course I want to lose 10 pounds by then for the camera….lol!!

A little housekeeping...
1) no Cory, not just you, but of course as always you are number one in my heart!
2) I knew you would say that John.
3)my back is getting stronger I think....woohoo!

I wish to dedicate day 47 to my littlest brother David….the guy we overprotected, and under protected, and who has had his own tough row to hoe. Be kind to yourself David.

"Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will". ---John D MacDonald

And one from Barry....maybe he's got a point?

"Doctors ought to quit worrying about what ballplayers are taking. What players take doesn't matter. It's nobody else's business. The doctors should spend their time looking for cures for cancer. ---Barry Bonds

love from George W. Bush airport in Houston(that's for you Mike)
peter

"Defying Gravity"

Well maybe not defying it but battling it hard at least. That's what hill workouts are all about. I do really well with the downhills but I'm also clearly getting better at the uphills. Hills are a key ingredient in any endurance training regimen as they build both aerobic capacity and strength. I was pleasantly surprised this mornong that my legs seemed to have recovered fairly well, and heading out to my hills I felt good from the get go. I did 8 of them, ecah hill being a half kilometer long, and I maintained my pace from start to finish. My heart rate was in control as well, not reaching 150 until the very end. The reason this is a key indicator is that it tells me that I was recovering well in between efforts while jogging back down. My hill, or actually 2 hills as they make up a valley such that I go down the one and immediately up the other, is 2.5 k from the house, so I used that as a warmup and cool down. So 13 kilometers total, and feeling strong the whole time.
I've hinted the last few days that I have been struggling a bit with depression again, so this morning on my run I gave that some thought. It is certainly always there as a constant nagging reminder to me of how I felt, and yet it is nothing as compared to just a few months ago. So what's happening? Well I have come to some conclusions. I am pretty sure that if I was not doing this crazy training thing, I would have already sunk back into my hole, and furthermore I believe that persevering in my efforts will eventually take me to a new and even better level of self confidence and peace of mind. I felt it this morning, and even though I know that the feeling will ebb and flow to some degree, I'm fairly certain I'm on the right track. I think regardless of what comes out of it in the end that this intense activity is a critical ingredient in my long term mental health, never mind the obvious physical benefits.

So to anyone out there who may have just recently started on a journey of renewed physical wellness, please don't quit. I won't if you won't, and then we'll be able to swap success stories.
Oh and I highly recommend hill's regardless of what else you are doing. There is something exhilarating about overpowering gravity....especially when you reach the top!! Oh, and it doesn't matter how fast you go, but it does matter how hard you go.

I'm off to Mexico tomorrow but I hope to get a tough, but not long bike ride in before I go, maybe 40 or 50 K.

On other stuff, it is a very exciting personal time for Roo and I. Our grandchildren are moving in next door to us!! How can we be so fortunate I dont know? Of course I think their parents are probably coming as well....but when I think about it that's probably a good thing too. Someone has be there to give them baths and make them go to bed and all that other 'parenting' stuff eh.

I wish to decicate day 46 to my brother John, who has had his own suffering, and become a better man for it. He will also probably attest to both of the following quotes?

" Good for the body is the work of the body, good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either the work of the other".--Henry David Thoreau.

....and because who would know better.

"You can't exercise and be high. It's impossible." Tommy Chong

love
peter