"A Kiss is Just a Kiss"

The other day I was sending Colby off to school and as is his want and mine he gave me a kiss and a hug before he took off. For some reason it was the very first time that I wondered when he would grow too old to kiss grampa? Especially because he kisses me right on the lips. As I walked back to the house pondering this question I wondered why it suddenly occurred to me at that moment and I think I figured it out. It was because there were other kids his age there at the same time, and the thought went through my mind to wonder whether they also kissed their fathers or grandfathers? Taking it further it suddenly occurred to me that when you get to be seven years old there is the constant risk of doing something that may be seen as childish behaviour by your peers. I wondered if there would soon be a chance that someone would ridicule him for kissing an adult, especially an old ugly one. If that happened and I believe that it is inevitable at some point how would he feel? He is a very well adjusted kid with a strong sense of self and a robust personality, but I also know how much children can be influenced by others in their peer group. Just the other day while dressing for soccer I suggested that the top of his socks should be rolled down but he heartily disagreed, explaining to silly old me that that wzs not the way it was done. When we got to the soccer field I seen him approaching his team mates and suddenly stop in the middle of the field to fold over his socks. He had by then spotted how everyone else was wearing theirs.

So what to do? Do I wean him off the affection in order to potentially save him from some teasing, and in doing so give up one of the most precious parts of our relationship? Or do I let society run it's course and let him take his chances? And even if I chose to try to save him potential embarrassment how to I justify it to him? Do I tell him it's wrong? Do I tell him he's getting too old Do I just start subtly avoiding the public showing of affection?

I know what his Dad would say. Peter kisses me on the lips all the time and he would simply threaten to beat anybody up who had anything to say about it. While I agree with his opinion the fact still remains that it could cause pain for a child, maybe even more so if a parent or grandparent publicly stood up for him.

I never ever remember kissing my father when I was a child but surely there must have been a time? Or did he think the fact I was a small shy child, ignorant of the ways of the world, and who peed his pants every day at school was enough burden for one kid without also having to be teased about that. Probably eh? NOT! I think he just wasn't the type for physical demonstrations of affection unless you consider kicking me in the ass to be affection. And maybe...just maybe.... if I had some more of that ( affection that is, not ass kicking) I wouldn't have been such a scared little kid whenever I was faced with the realities of the "nuns" and the "town kids"

You know I've often found that writing this blog about something important to me is like having a conversation, or even a negotiation with myself and many times it has helped me come to some conclusion of some kind. This one is no exception. Despite the fears I express I know in my heart of hearts what the right thing is for both Colby and for me.

I'm gonna keep kissing him on the mouth as long as he'll let me...society be damned!

"A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time."---~Levende Waters

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?"---Henry Finck

love
peter

"Never Put Off Til Tomorrow"

What you can get somebody else to do today!

Unfortunately I'm too much of a control freak to allow that and so I will have to write a blog tomorrow. I promise. But I'll give you a hint. It's gonna be about kissing!

"A promise is a promise"---Kylie Amanda Rooyakkers

love
peter

Happy Birthday Miguette

Today we celebrated Miguettes 30th birthday. We were especially grateful to her friend Brandi who drove 1000 kms from Pennsylvania and to Adrian for coming up from the basement.

In honour of the auspicious occasion I thought it appropriate that we recognize some of her strengths while at the same time acknowledging her opportunities for growth.

First off Miguette is an amazing parent with the exception of the fact that she expects her children to come home at times.

She is a great musician with the exception of the fact that she never plays.

She is a great artist with the exception of the fact that she never draws.

She is a great gardener with the exception of the fact that she didn't grow me any potatoes.

She has a fine appreciation for great music especially classic rock, with the exception of her small obsession with Eddie Vedder.

She has a fine appreciation of classic old things but unfortunately is also a junk collector.

She is a great neighbour with the exception of her noisy fucking rooster.

And lastly she is an amazing woman and a beloved daughter with no exception what so ever!



"I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger"---Rod Stewart

"I used to be on an endless run.
Believe in miracles 'cause I'm one.
I've been blessed with the power to survive.
After all these years I'm still alive."---Eddie Vedder

love
peter

"Today I Saw a Man"

Standing in the middle of a large grassy area just staring at the ground. What is he doing I wondered? Is he looking at something? You would think if that were the case that perhaps he would bend down to have a closer look. I waited but he continued to stare with his head bent to the ground as if he were in a trance of some kind. St Thomas has it's fair share of "special" people who live in group homes and other community settings and I briefly wondered if he was one of them. He seemed to be a man in late middle age and so I considered alzheimers. I was just mystifed and now even a little concerned for him. I actually considered stopping my car to study him further and perhaps even approach him, when he finally lifted his head and trudged slowly away.

And then I finally clued in .....as I passed the gates of the cemetery. It was one of the types that don't allow headstones, only plaques set into the ground.

While many people would surely disagree with me I just can't seem to get my head around the concept of cemeteries. Who dreamt that up? Put a corpse in a box, bury it in the ground and then erect a monument on top of it. The one and only way I can see the value of burial is if you put the corpse directly in the ground where it can at least provide nourishment for the plants and the grubs, and perhaps the odd ambitious coyote.

But the real question I have about cemeteries is not the burial part but the visiting part. What good does it do to go there and stare at the little plaque, or the big headstone for that matter? I suppose for some it is a way of grieving; of coming to terms with the reality of a loved ones passing. Or for others perhaps it is a reminder of their owm mortality. And for still others there is probably strong religious overtones associated with the idea; a method of prayer perhaps. Personally cemeteries don't do any of these things for me and I think they should all be ploughed and turned into farmland.

Oh, and the next time I hear about some ancient sacred burial ground that someone is claiming to own I'm gonna go there and throw a few stones at someone.

"When I am dead and buried, on my tombstone I would like to have it written, "I have arrived." Because when you feel that you have arrived, you are dead."---Yul Brynner

"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery."---Harold Wilson

love
peter

"Maybe I'm Finally Growing Up?"

I spent several hours today celebrating the birthday of one of my brothers. Almost all the idiots were there and at some point in the day I realized that I was at peace with each and every one of them. I had no resentments, no jealousies, no anger and no envy. I just enjoyed their company and that of their families, and nothing else. A little sad I suppose that it has taken me this many years to get to this point but I suppose better late than never. It's a nice peaceful feeling to have finally grown up. Please congratulate me!

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.”---Abraham Lincoln

love
peter