"Soccer Anyone?"

This is my grandsons school playground.

And this is the equivalent in Sao Paulo

Yah! No shit. That is actually an elementary school with the recess facilities on the roof.

Makes you wonder why they are better at soccer than us eh? Or then again maybe it explains it.

"This soccer she is a man's game."...Anononymous Italian player

love

peter

"You Want To Buy What?"

An alpaca
A what?
An alpaca
Al Who?
No, an Allll....paca!
What the f@$ks an alpaca?
It's an animal.
An aminal???
Yah.
What kind of animal?
Well it's kind of like a little camel but without the hump.
Holy cow!
No not like a cow, like a camel
Wow, does it spit like a camel?
Well yah, but not very often.
Can it go across the desert without anything to drink?
Well nooo.
Well that ain't much good!
But it can stay outside all winter.
Outside? All winter?
Yup!
Well that's kinda good I guess. How come it can stay outside?
Well because it has the densest, warmest fleece of almost any animal alive.
Wow, they must get hot in the summer?
Nope, because in the summer you cut their fleece off.
Sounds like lots of work?
Well, a little, but you can sell the fleece.
Sell it? Really?
Yup!
Wow! That's good I guess. So that's why you want an alpaca, to sell the fleece?
Well that yah, plus they're really cute.
Cute? Alpacas are cute?
Yah, just ask Kylie.
Oh, so now it comes out....Kylie think they're cute...and cuddly I suppose?
Well actually they are.
Are what?
Cute and cuddly.
You gotta be kiddin me?
No they are very nice fluffy, friendly, furry things.
Oh and how do they smell?
Not bad...well until they pee at least.
So let me get this straight. You want to buy an aplaca? A fluffy furry friendly animal that's like a little camel without a hump, that spits at you and can stay outside all winter, and who's fleece you can sell, just because Kylie likes them?
NO! I like them too!
Yah Yah whatever. Where did you learn about these alpacas?
At the ploughing match.
The ploughing match? They let women go to the ploughing match now?
Piss off...I'm buying a fu$%in alpaca!
Fine. Buy an aplpaca! I don't suppose they can cost much and I suppose if they can stay outside all winter they won't need much care.
That's right. You can get a little one for about 1500 bucks.
Whaaaatttt?
And yah they can stay outside all winter but they should at least have a little building to go into so you'll have to build something.
Whaaaatttt?
And of course you'll have to build a six foot fence with that tight weave stuff so the coyotes don't get them.
The coyotes? The coyotes will get them? Eat them? Do they taste good?
Well only if they can get inside the fence. And I don't know what they taste like. They're not for eating. They're for keeping.
So you never eat them?
Nope! You keep them for as long as they live.
No way! Really? So what? Five to seven years?
No more like twenty to twenty five.
No shit!? So if you buy an aplace now it could easily outlive me?
Well I suppose. But your odds of living for a while will go up significantly if you just build the fence and the building, and of course we'll need water in there and maybe some lights for the winter time.
How will that increase my life span?
Easy. I want some alpacas and if I have to choose between you and them I can't make any promises.
Okay okay. Fine fine. Don't have a bird! So you want some alpacas. How do you propose to pay for them at 1500 bucks a pop?
Again, easy, I'll sell my bike?
Your custom painted high tech aluminum road bike?
No stupid! Of course not. I'm talking about my Harley!
You would sell your Harley to buy some alpacas?
Yes I would!
Ok, and what is Kylie gonna ride when she turns sixteen? I know you've thought about that haven't you?
How do you know? Besides with all the money I'll make selling alpaca fleece I'll just buy her another bike in 12 years.
Well I hope she likes Japanese bikes cause you ain't buying no Harley with alpaca fleece!
You don't know nothing! I've checked it all out and you can get a samll fortune for the stuff. Try buying a pair of alpaca socks. See how much they cost!
I suppose I'll need a pair if I'm gonna be out there fence building in the middle of winter eh? God have mercy on me.
Oh thanks dear...you're so good to me. Thanks a lot!
Hey, Hey...hold on. Thanks for what? I never agreed to anything.
Oh yes you did! Besides...either we buy some alpacas or I'm tellin Kylie that you said she couldn't have them.



Please Grampa?

Welcome to Roo and Associates Alpaca Farm.

Tomorrow I will discuss the relative merits of owning a high class, internationally renowned, anniversary edition classic Harley Davidson or a fuckin alpaca!

"Something tells me I'm getting hosed....or should I say fleeced?"---Peter W Rooyakkers

love

peter

"Daytime Running Lights"

And how they've changed our society.

I thought I would sneak a little post in just to see if anyone noticed. You see I had this brilliant thought while running yesterday and needed to put it down somewhere. Now those who have read my blog in the past may argue that while I may have accidently had a brilliant thought at some point in my life, this would certainly be the first time I expressed it via this medium or any other medium for that matter. To all of those people I simply say "up yours" and stop reading now!

But enough. Here's the proof either of my brilliance or lack thereof.

Do you remember when all the cars in a funeral procession would turn on their headlights and snake through town, not stopping for any red light or stop sign on the way to the cemetary? And every vehicle, every pedestrian and every stray dog would respectfully delay their own progress to make a small gesture to the faithful departed? Yah well I remember!

And that just doesn't happen any more because you know why everyone stopped for the procession? They had their lights on! That's how you knew it was a funeral, and that was your cue to stop at a green light for 2 minutes while they passed. Now everybodys lights are on all the time and so either you don't notice the funeral, or at least you can pretend you don't.

But who cares you may ask? After all the guy is freakin dead so he don't care, and everbody else in the procession is either too greived to care or on the opposite end, never liked the guy anyway.

Well guess what my friends. It ain't about the dead guy and how it affected him that everyone took a time out to consider his death. It's about the 2 minutes you(the live one) were forced to take and what most human beings would do during that 2 minutes. I probably don't have to tell you. You would instinctively consider your own mortality and that of your loved ones, and I would be willing to bet that most people would suddenly not be in so much of a hurry, and for at least the rest of that day would be a little kinder and a little slower to bitch about something.

So if you add up all the funerals and multiply that by the amount of people who were forced to stop and thereby were a little kinder and a little gentler for an entire day you would have a lot more decency in this world!

I rest my case. That is how daytime running lights have changed our society for the worse.

It also occurs to me that if we didn't have day time running lights we would have a few more car accidents, resulting in a few more deaths, and the accompanying compassion it would bring to our world via the funeral procession would be a very good thing. Perhaps the seat belt law needs reconsidered as well huh?

....and how fitting is this quote? It's good to know that I can always defer to Emily if I need a little brilliance...

"Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me.
The Carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality"---Emily Dickinson

com muito amor
peter

"Do You Ever Wonder Why?"

That when a little kid sees this...

Or this....

Or even this....

They see only flowers?

While us wise and experienced adults know very well they are only weeds. And if those flowers/weeds can be representative of the human condition can it also be true that they only look like weeds because of the eyes we see them with? Perhaps the ugly part of the plant represents all the things that went wrong; all the things we screwed up; all the tough times; all the guilt and shame we carry with us. Why does it seem I see only the weeds when they put the flower right on the very top?? The other day Kylie wanted to pick one of those ugly white things to take to her mother and I stopped her, suggesting we could find something better. We never did find anything and she eventually forgot about it. Pretty sad eh? Have to work on that I guess.

I know there are weeds in my life...but my god....the flowers!!!!

"This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness.

Some momentary awareness.

Comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes,

because each has bent sent

as a guide from beyond"---Rumi

And another one that hit me...

"Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows"---Henry david Thoreau

muito amor

peter

"Things I Take For Granted...part 3"

Being able to get in my car and drive where I want to, when I want to, and with who I want to.

Sao Paulo has dedicated lanes for buses and unlike what you may see in Canada they do not come every 15 minutes. They come constantly! As fast as people can get on or off the bus there is another one waiting. It is a continuous parade. For a large part of the population it is the only reasonable way to get around the city.

"You gotta, go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with"----The Mamas and the Papas

love
peter

"Things I Take For Granted...part 2"

Space....

The city of Sao Paulo has 2 million more people than the Netherlands and as such they are stacked on top of each other.





These are taken from the office tower that I work in. Fortunately they have not yet disturbed the Catholic Church you see in the foreground. With this many people they need to have 7 masses every Sunday, and so they do!

"Space: The final frontier"---James Tiberius Kirk

love
peter

"Things I Take For Granted....part 1"

We, or at least I, take a lot of things for granted living in Canada. In brazil it is mandatory to have this sign posted by every elevator.




hmmm....

"When I'm in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like."---Jane Fonda

love
peter

"In Lieu Of"

I give you this.

http://to10.uncoverthecure.org/site/TR/Events/Toronto2010?px=1819265&pg=personal&fr_id=1180

And this is not related but I loved it.

"Being born is a violent event akin to being thrown off of a cliff. There is only one inevitable end"---Anon

love
peter

"A Kiss is Just a Kiss"

The other day I was sending Colby off to school and as is his want and mine he gave me a kiss and a hug before he took off. For some reason it was the very first time that I wondered when he would grow too old to kiss grampa? Especially because he kisses me right on the lips. As I walked back to the house pondering this question I wondered why it suddenly occurred to me at that moment and I think I figured it out. It was because there were other kids his age there at the same time, and the thought went through my mind to wonder whether they also kissed their fathers or grandfathers? Taking it further it suddenly occurred to me that when you get to be seven years old there is the constant risk of doing something that may be seen as childish behaviour by your peers. I wondered if there would soon be a chance that someone would ridicule him for kissing an adult, especially an old ugly one. If that happened and I believe that it is inevitable at some point how would he feel? He is a very well adjusted kid with a strong sense of self and a robust personality, but I also know how much children can be influenced by others in their peer group. Just the other day while dressing for soccer I suggested that the top of his socks should be rolled down but he heartily disagreed, explaining to silly old me that that wzs not the way it was done. When we got to the soccer field I seen him approaching his team mates and suddenly stop in the middle of the field to fold over his socks. He had by then spotted how everyone else was wearing theirs.

So what to do? Do I wean him off the affection in order to potentially save him from some teasing, and in doing so give up one of the most precious parts of our relationship? Or do I let society run it's course and let him take his chances? And even if I chose to try to save him potential embarrassment how to I justify it to him? Do I tell him it's wrong? Do I tell him he's getting too old Do I just start subtly avoiding the public showing of affection?

I know what his Dad would say. Peter kisses me on the lips all the time and he would simply threaten to beat anybody up who had anything to say about it. While I agree with his opinion the fact still remains that it could cause pain for a child, maybe even more so if a parent or grandparent publicly stood up for him.

I never ever remember kissing my father when I was a child but surely there must have been a time? Or did he think the fact I was a small shy child, ignorant of the ways of the world, and who peed his pants every day at school was enough burden for one kid without also having to be teased about that. Probably eh? NOT! I think he just wasn't the type for physical demonstrations of affection unless you consider kicking me in the ass to be affection. And maybe...just maybe.... if I had some more of that ( affection that is, not ass kicking) I wouldn't have been such a scared little kid whenever I was faced with the realities of the "nuns" and the "town kids"

You know I've often found that writing this blog about something important to me is like having a conversation, or even a negotiation with myself and many times it has helped me come to some conclusion of some kind. This one is no exception. Despite the fears I express I know in my heart of hearts what the right thing is for both Colby and for me.

I'm gonna keep kissing him on the mouth as long as he'll let me...society be damned!

"A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time."---~Levende Waters

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?"---Henry Finck

love
peter

"Never Put Off Til Tomorrow"

What you can get somebody else to do today!

Unfortunately I'm too much of a control freak to allow that and so I will have to write a blog tomorrow. I promise. But I'll give you a hint. It's gonna be about kissing!

"A promise is a promise"---Kylie Amanda Rooyakkers

love
peter

Happy Birthday Miguette

Today we celebrated Miguettes 30th birthday. We were especially grateful to her friend Brandi who drove 1000 kms from Pennsylvania and to Adrian for coming up from the basement.

In honour of the auspicious occasion I thought it appropriate that we recognize some of her strengths while at the same time acknowledging her opportunities for growth.

First off Miguette is an amazing parent with the exception of the fact that she expects her children to come home at times.

She is a great musician with the exception of the fact that she never plays.

She is a great artist with the exception of the fact that she never draws.

She is a great gardener with the exception of the fact that she didn't grow me any potatoes.

She has a fine appreciation for great music especially classic rock, with the exception of her small obsession with Eddie Vedder.

She has a fine appreciation of classic old things but unfortunately is also a junk collector.

She is a great neighbour with the exception of her noisy fucking rooster.

And lastly she is an amazing woman and a beloved daughter with no exception what so ever!



"I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger"---Rod Stewart

"I used to be on an endless run.
Believe in miracles 'cause I'm one.
I've been blessed with the power to survive.
After all these years I'm still alive."---Eddie Vedder

love
peter

"Today I Saw a Man"

Standing in the middle of a large grassy area just staring at the ground. What is he doing I wondered? Is he looking at something? You would think if that were the case that perhaps he would bend down to have a closer look. I waited but he continued to stare with his head bent to the ground as if he were in a trance of some kind. St Thomas has it's fair share of "special" people who live in group homes and other community settings and I briefly wondered if he was one of them. He seemed to be a man in late middle age and so I considered alzheimers. I was just mystifed and now even a little concerned for him. I actually considered stopping my car to study him further and perhaps even approach him, when he finally lifted his head and trudged slowly away.

And then I finally clued in .....as I passed the gates of the cemetery. It was one of the types that don't allow headstones, only plaques set into the ground.

While many people would surely disagree with me I just can't seem to get my head around the concept of cemeteries. Who dreamt that up? Put a corpse in a box, bury it in the ground and then erect a monument on top of it. The one and only way I can see the value of burial is if you put the corpse directly in the ground where it can at least provide nourishment for the plants and the grubs, and perhaps the odd ambitious coyote.

But the real question I have about cemeteries is not the burial part but the visiting part. What good does it do to go there and stare at the little plaque, or the big headstone for that matter? I suppose for some it is a way of grieving; of coming to terms with the reality of a loved ones passing. Or for others perhaps it is a reminder of their owm mortality. And for still others there is probably strong religious overtones associated with the idea; a method of prayer perhaps. Personally cemeteries don't do any of these things for me and I think they should all be ploughed and turned into farmland.

Oh, and the next time I hear about some ancient sacred burial ground that someone is claiming to own I'm gonna go there and throw a few stones at someone.

"When I am dead and buried, on my tombstone I would like to have it written, "I have arrived." Because when you feel that you have arrived, you are dead."---Yul Brynner

"He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery."---Harold Wilson

love
peter

"Maybe I'm Finally Growing Up?"

I spent several hours today celebrating the birthday of one of my brothers. Almost all the idiots were there and at some point in the day I realized that I was at peace with each and every one of them. I had no resentments, no jealousies, no anger and no envy. I just enjoyed their company and that of their families, and nothing else. A little sad I suppose that it has taken me this many years to get to this point but I suppose better late than never. It's a nice peaceful feeling to have finally grown up. Please congratulate me!

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.”---Abraham Lincoln

love
peter

Those Who Matter Don't Care"

First off, as promised, I wish to tell you that I really enjoyed my Brazil experience. Sao Paulo is a huge modern city of almost 20 million people and just as many cars. My most significant experiences involved the traffic, particularly the fact that the lanes are for cars, and the white lines are for motorcycles which always drive at least twice as fast as the cars. I also enjoyed getting my sense of direction messed up several times, until I finally realized that the sun was always in the northern sky as opposed to what I have been used to for 54 years. If you forget this fact then east becomes west, and vice versa. Anyway enought about that. The decision as to whether I will be going back is still up in the air so to speak. I'll keep you posted. Back to the topic.

Those who matter don't care, and those who care don't matter. That's why I have finally decided to venture into waters that may lose me a few acquaintances, but most certainly won't lose me any friends. Not real friends anyway.

I have procrastinated bringing this topic up many times primarily because I was afraid to. I know that may surprise you, and you would be right in thinking that there are not many things that I'm chicken to get into. I suppose that's why I knew that at some point I needed to do so. Anything you are afraid of needs to be faced at some point.

So what the hell am I talking about you say? Well I'm talking about Elton John, and Freddie Mercury, Rock Hudson, and Melissa Ethridge, and if you don't get the theme yet, what about the great Liberace, the queerest of them all.

I don't know when I first realized that one of my very own fit into the same category but I think it was close to 10 years ago. At first I just kept it locked up in my closet(pun intended) but I knew it couldn't stay there. Claudette and I never talked about it although we both knew what the other knew. We just had some kind of unspoken understanding that no one was going to bring it up. That all changed about 3 years ago when one day we both got an e-mail from Michael which basically said "Hey I'm gay, any questions?"

So there it is. I said it out loud. Not that I'm ashamed in any way shape or form, but yes, sometimes I'm afraid. Afraid for him and afraid for me. If I'm honest probably mostly for me. He is such a remarkable, kind, and thoughtful young man with a solid grip on life that he probably has nothing to fear. He has build incredible relationships and finds himself surrounded by many dear friends.

But he's no Freddie Mercury and as such doesn't have the protection that somehow comes with celebrity status. I know many extreme homophobes who are also major fans of Freddie, almost as if his incredible talent somehow mitigates the stigma attached to his sexual orientation. There is no such protection for my son and that leaves me constantly nervous about how he may be treated in any given situation.

In the end though I suspect my fear is still more about me than about him. I am proud of myself in that my feelings for him have not changed in the least, and as always I would defend him with my life. I know there are many parents, men especially, that have turned away from their children in the same situation. Amongst those who have not I suspect that I am not alone in my struggle to come to terms with having a gay child, however I don't like the fact that I even struggle. Maybe confessing my inner turnoil will help.

And practice, practice, practice. I have come to realize that with most prejudices your daily habits of thought and speech can strengthen or quiet your shameful attitudes. That's why every time I use the word queer, I am referring to a 3 dollar bill, every time I say faggot I'll be talking about a bundle of sticks for my fire, and when I talk about a dyke it will be something that my grandfather built in Holland to hold the sea back. Homo of course is a kind of milk which I never drink because it makes me fat.

I encourage you to try to discipline yourself the same way. If you don't learn now, you may one day have to stare it in the face anyway, just as I did. I am actually grateful for it as I know it has made me a better man.

In closing I only care to say that I am also grateful to my son because I know that he forgives me my fears and struggles, even as I work to overcome them. He is my strength, and my inspiration

"I am as gay as a daffodil, my dear"---Freddie Mercury

"If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."---Robin Tyler

love
peter

"What was I Thinking?"

I got home late last night and tomorrow afternoon I leave again. Barely time to do my laundry and shave. So I'm sorry but I got nothing for you.

I'm a little preoccupied with my Brazil visit. Only my second time south of the equator. Wish me well! I'll let you know how it goes.

"With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere."---C. S. Lewis

love
peter

"What Did You Imagine?"

When I was younger.....,

I imagined that someday I would have a beautiful wife and several strapping sons.

I imagined that If I worked hard I could have a decent job that I enjoyed, and which allowed me lots of freedom.

I imagined that eventually I may have a place in the country with a few acres.

I imagined that one day I would be exceptionally fit and perhaps complete a long distance triathlon.

I imagined that at some point my big sisters would be proud of me.

I imagined the possibility of being able to travel a little.

BUT.....

It never once occurred to me to imagine that I would have 2 beautiful grandchildren living next door to me.

I never once imagined an orange tractor with hydrostatic drive.

I never imagined that I would be accepting of the swallows building a nest on top of my garage door opener

It also never ocurred to me to imagine an incredible opportunity to work in Brazil.

AND....

Hell, I'm only 54 years old and I can only imagine what is still to come.

"What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine."---Oprah Winfrey

"Imagination is the voice of daring. If there is anything Godlike about God it is that. He dared to imagine everything."---Henry Miller

love
peter

"The Septic Tank"

Definition : a tank in which solid organic sewage is decomposed and purified by anaerobic bacteria"

Doesn't that make it an anit-septic tank?

Erma Bombeck claims that the grass is always greener over the septic tank. While I get the point of her metaphor she is actually quite wrong. The grass frequently grows better and greener over the weeping bed, but the tank itself often has the opposite effect on the greenery. Especially if the tank is very close to the surface and there is not enough soil to retain moisuture and allow for a strong root system.

I had always known exactly where the tank over at the farm was located for this very reason....the grass was all dead there. That didn't really concern me that much until one day last week one of the kids asked me why there was a crack in the earth. Much to my surprise, part of the lid had moved gradually out of location up to the point that the 3 inches of soil above it was now falling through the crack. I thought I better do something about it and since I had to uncover it anyway I thought it would be a good time to get it pumped.

So I call a guy and find out it only costs 200 bucks cash and we agree on a date and time. Meanwhile I get the tank opened up expecting to find quite an unhealthy and impacted tank with the belief that it had probably not been inspected for years. I probed every corner of the square concrete enclosure and much to my surprise I could not find any indication of solid material buildup and very little floating on top. Not knowing much about septic systems at all I still came to the conclusion that everything was actually in good shape and functioning well. I clearly remember opening one up with my dad and finding that the bottom half of the tank was almost completely solid.

So to make a long story short, the guy never showed up at the appointed time and so I called him up, told him not to bother, and saved my 200 bucks. I then closed it up, added significant soil on top of it and planted some grass seed. I'm not gonna think about it for another 5 years.

So that's my story, but it's not really relevant. Hopefully this part is.

I think Erma missed the boat a little with her septic tank analogy in that I think there is a much better one. The secret to life lies in the tank itself.

All kinds of shit comes into your life as it does into the tank. We have natural organisms built into our respective systems that are intended to purify that fecal matter. It takes time and patience however. Some of the crap sinks to the bottom where it hopefully decomposes. If not then it continues to pile up and since it's "out of sight, out of mind" we're not always aware of it. Some of the crap floats on top and and as such stares us right in the face. This is scary stuff for that reason alone, but fortunately there are baffles built into the tank and into out lives to prevent the floaters from clogging up the weeping bed.

The bottom line.... Its all a matter of the size of your tank and the amount of crap passing through it. If these things are in proportion and you have a healthy system, things are gonna be ok. If you can feel the shit piling up deep down, or if the floaters are starting to cover the surface you better get some help....get your tank pumped!

And you know what else? Because your own personal tank is underground you are the only one who can assess it's condition. No one else knows either how large your tank is, or how many people are shitting in it, and as such don't ever let anyone judge you if you need some help. That also works both ways. Let's remember not to judge others for the same reason.

Oh one last thing. Just when you think you have all of lifes crap under control, someone comes along and takes a piss in your corn flakes.

"Life is like a shit sandwich, the more bread you have the less shit you have to eat."---Anon

love
peter

"You're Probably Pushing Fifty"

If you remember this...

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandmother bought me a cute little toy
Silver bells hanging on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling
I want you to play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling
I want you to play with My Ding-A-Ling

Then mama took me to Sunday school
They tried to teach me the Golden Rule
But when the choir would stand and sing
I'd sit there and play with my Ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling
I want you to play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling
I want you to play with My Ding-A-Ling

Then mama took me to Grammar school
But I stopped off in the vestibule
Every time that bell would ring
Catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling
I want you to play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling
I want you to play with My Ding-A-Ling

Once I was climbing the garden wall,
I slipped and had a terrible fall
I fell so hard I heard birds ring,
But held on to My ding-a-ling

Once I was swimming cross turtle creek
those snapping turtles were snapping at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my ding-a-ling

This here song it ain't so sad
The cutest little song you ever had
Those of you who will not sing
You must be playing with your own Ding-a-ling

Believe it or not this is the only number one hit that Chuck Berry ever had!

love
peter

"First Things First"

You can't make a decision until you have enough facts. That's why I have to check out the climate first. After all, if you can't ride a bike or run then the decision is easy. I do appreciate all the decision making advice, especially the Chinese guys help......somthing about free naked women when I pasted into the online translator. I'm gonna go and delete him right now while I think about it.

Hope all is well with everyone. I have a smelly essay planned for saturday so check it out.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."--- Mark Twain

love
peter

"Decisions Decisions"

We, or at least I, often complain about the need to make difficult decisions. I think the very expression itself often refers to 2 different situations. In one sense when we refer to something as a difficult decision it is really about something we know we have to do, and as such is really not a decision but a required action that has some pain associated with it. Like the decision to stop smoking or to throw your kids out of the house once and for all.

Then there is the true difficult decision. One for which there is no clear answer and which includes at least 2 specific options. I suppose it could be a choice between 2 evils such as getting the cancer treatment or not, or a choice between 2 happy places such as buying your grandson his own tractor or letting him drive yours around. More aften than not though, I think the typical difficult decision has some of both, some pros and some cons to either choice.

I am currently facing one such decision and I don't really know how to go about making it. It is probably the biggest choice I have had to make since my illness, and one that will have significant impact on me for at least a year, and maybe beyond that. Do I list all the pros and cons and see which list is longer? Do I try to put a numerical value to each aspect and make a mathematical decision. Do I simply let it percolate in my brain and hope that the answer becomes clear. Or do I take the easy way out and simply let my wife decide. She had a answer about 3 1/2 seconds after I told her of the choices. Fortunately for me I have a little bit more time than that, and I know that despite the fact it seems obvious to Claudette I need to take some of that time to get it straight in my own head.

I wish I could share it with you and let you help me as well but unfortunately I can't do so at this time. Let me just say that it has some potentially tough down sides, some unmistakable cool upsides, plus....and here's the big one...other potentially major upsides. Like the possibility that it will get me out of this funk I've been living in and whining about for some time. And--- it just occurs to me that it would also give me a whole new reason to blog---maybe even with pictures!

So tough decisions are tough decisions no matter which type, but I suppose they should be readily preferred over no decisions at all. When you have no decisions left to make it's time to climb on the ice floe. Or check yourself into the seniors home where I ain't never going to go voluntarily. No disrespect to anyone but that's a decision I have already made. Hey I just had a brain wave. I think I'm gonna re-write my will to stipulate that everything goes to the local humane society if I end up dying anywhere other than in my home or on an ice floe. There, another decision made!

So please help. How do you make your difficult decisions?

On another totally unrelated note I have decided to put big Sister Cory on an ice floe. That way she won't be able to scare the hell out of me anymore. On Monday she returns from a vacation which she spent in a Florida hospital undergoing major emergency surgery. Please think of her and hope for a quick recovery. When I found out I felt like putting a few others on the ice with her, but then I quickly realized that my reaction was out of fear rather than any justifable anger, and so I put it away.

“We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision."---Gary Collins

“A man without decision can never be said to belong to himself"---John Watson Foster

love
peter

"Habs Win!"

Anyone remember 1971?

"Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street."---Anon

"How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"---Jacques Plante

Go Habs Go

love
peter

"In The Absence of Trust"

Can there be love?

I suppose that if you accept the concept that love is a decision, then it seems reasonable to also accept that you can love someone that you don't trust. I believe however that it is one of the biggest hurdles to a lasting relationship. There is great misery in loving someone who you are constantly suspicious of, and as such there is a constant pressure to make the ultimate decision....to stop loving.

If however you also believe in the concept of unconditional love then that would be an unacceptable solution and when it comes to your children I happen to believe that unconditional love is a moral obligation. After all you created them and while you may not have a permanent responsibility to care "for" them, I think that you do have a permanent responsibility to care "about" them.

There are of course lots of other reasons why relationships fall apart including those of parent/child but I believe that lack of trust is the big killer. Ask anyone who has lived with an addict and you will find that it is not the addiction itself that tears the love down, but it is the deceit that comes with it.

But amongst all the things I learned from my sister Mary probably the most important individual thing is that while it may not be mandatory to go on loving, it is still okay to do so. And so that is what I choose, despite the absence of trust.

It also occurs to me that while love may indeed be a decision, to trust is perhaps not so much so.

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."---George MacDonald

Love all, trust a few."---William Shakespeare

love
peter

"All Clear"

I travel to the Victoria hospital in London every 3 months for a checkup, alternating between the radiation guy and the surgeon. I also go many other times in between for dentist appointments and things like the study I was participating in. That means that I generally enter through 3 different doors, as it is a very large complex. About every 6 months I have to enter through these doors and today was one of those days.



I still get flashbacks and maybe always will....or I suppose I could go through different doors and take the back way in. Idiot!

Anyway, all is well. My flashbacks are strictly emotional. Claudette still gets nervous about the checkup itself but I don't worry at all. Somehow I think I would know if there was anything wrong, and right now other than my fucked up head everything feels pretty good. Oh except for the major tendonitis in my shoulder, my screwed up right achilles, the pain in my left knee and my sore lower back....just your average 54 year old body!!

And tomorrow I promise a little philosophising, with no pictures....just for you Old John.

"Cancer is a word, not a sentence."---John Diamond

love
peter

"Milestones"

Time marches on minute by minute, day by day, year by year and we don't really notice. Sure, certain events like your 50th birthday, your children moving out of the house, or co-workers starting to retire somehow remind you of the passing of the days. But those things generally have some anticipation built in and as such they also tend to blend into the passing scenery of life. Then certain events come along that suddenly shock you into awareness. They are generally things you never considered because they didn't fall into the scope of your day to day experience. One such thing happened to me this morning.

I got a very innocent 2 line note from my youngest sibling who lives some distance away. I couldn't tell you how old he is, all I can tell you for certain is that he is 8...yes 8 behind me in the Rooyakkers procession of legitimate children. And his note?

My baby brother is a grampa!

How this could have happened I do not know. Well I know how it happened I just don't know how it snuck up on me. Either way the signal is clear. Beware what you do with your minutes/days/years because the end is nearer than you think!!!

I wish to dedicate this day to 6 lb, 12 oz Amelia. May she have every chance in life!

“Time is the justice that examines all offenders."---William Shakespeare

love
peter

"Change of Plans"

I feel better just having missed one day. Now the pressure's off and so I have changed plans once again. I have decided to faithfully post every Saturday night....and....any other time I damn well feel like it. After all I have to remember that I write this for me as much as for you. You of course don't need to read it but then again that's not a change in the rules. I have to read it simply because I'm anal about spelling and typos. And before you say anything Cory, yes I know that I still miss some.

I wish to dedicate this day to my son Jonathan who has accomplished an enormous feat. He has made me look forward to his phone calls again!!

"It will not do to leave a live dragon out of your plans if you live near one."--- J.R.R. Tolkien

love
peter

"Feeling Strange"

I almost got out of bed last night at 11:30 to post something. I just felt so weird not doing so. I had a strange sense of loss. If I thought for a second that anyone would have actually checked I would have done so. I didn't think there was anyone out there as obsessive as I am. I guess it either runs in the family or rubs off on people. Roo admitted to checking as well. Let's see if anyone checks 2 days in a row?

Anyway what I wanted to tell you about was this very weird dream I had the night before. It was so vivid I still rememher it well almost 2 days later. Here's the gist of it.

I was in some country, at some factory, checking it out as a potential purchase for my employer. For some reason when I was out on the plant floor I was dragging around this little roller suitcase that I regularly travel with. I took it everywhere with me only to realize at the end of the day when I returned to the offices that I had left it behind somewhere. I retraced my steps checking out every possible place I may have forgotten it including the washrooms, but to no avail. I wasn't too worried because I travel light and so it only contained a few shirts, some socks and underwear, and my toiletries....my computer was safely in another bag. Never the less I had developed a liking for the case itself and it was with some regret that I finally acknowledged that it was gone. But wait! I suddenly realized that as soon as I woke up from the dream my case would be back in the closet where it always is when I'm home.

Yes indeed, I actually dreamed that I was just dreaming! Explain that! That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I think I gottta get some different drugs!

And if this post isn't a good enough reason to stop doing this regularly than I don't know what is!! But somehow I feel better now.

Oh and one last thing....one very big thing....tomorrow is Jonathan's one year anniversary of sobriety! I am immensely grateful. If you care to, you can call or text him at 519 591 3038.

"You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope someday you will join us,
and the world will live as one."---John Lennon

“Only as high as I reach can I grow,
only as far as I seek can I go,
only as deep as I look can I see,
0nly as much as I dream can I be."---Karen Ravn

love
peter

"Second Thoughts"

When Claudette told me today that she was going to miss my daily blog it made me pause for a second. I hate disappointing her.

So it is with some regret that I have decided to post weekly for the next while. For anyone who still cares to read it, you can count on it every Sunday morning.

When I started this thing it was with the intent of sharing my Ironman experience, while at the same time making a public statement as to my intentions so as to hold myself accountable. That part went as planned.

What I hadn't planned and was such a pleasant surprise was getting to know people I really had no connection with, in partiucular several of my neices and nephews. It is also one of the reasons I will continue to do this weekly. I hope not to lose those new relationships.

The other wonderful thing that happened was the crazy dialogue that transpired on every topic under the sun. I am grateful for all the things I learned from so many of you. That I also hope will continue.

I too will miss my daily blog as it has been a wonderful growing experience. I know that when I put the time and effort into it that I wrote some decent things. And while it may have seemed to border on obsessive at times, I prefer to think of it as disciplined.

And finally for this week, if doing an Ironman is a good reason to write daily you can count on as much starting in September. Who knows?...with the right encouragement I might be "writing for two".

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”---Sydney Smith

love
peter

"I've Made a Decision"

I'll tell you tomorrow but meanwhile I am taking young Roos' advice and spending time with loved ones.

“The more decisions that you are forced to make alone, the more you are aware of your freedom to choose"---Thornton Wilder

love

peter

"Thanks For Your Help"

I'm thinking about it.

"Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I may not forget you."---William Arthur

love
peter

"Why We Do Stuff?"

Or why don't we do stuff. I'm a strong believer in the theory that we generally continue to do the things we do because we associate more pain with a potential change than we do with the current situation. That is not necessarily a bad thing because while it can prevent us from changing negative habits it can also keep us on track doing good stuff like exercising.

The difficulty comes in deciding which is which. For example, this blog that I have maintained faithfully for 575 consecutive days. Some days it actually causes me some stress and I wonder why I continue. I like to believe that it is because of the connection, or reconnection I have made with so many people and my fear of losing that. When I am in the mood I also enjoy it very much. Or---- is it just another obesssion? Who knows.

Young Roo, give me some advice.

“Sit down and put down everything that comes into your head and then you're a writer. But an author is one who can judge his own stuff's worth, without pity, and destroy most of it."---Sidonie Gabrielle

love
peter

"On The Road Again"

My first day of running since I fell off the roof. Tomorrow I ride. Tonite I read and then I sleep. All of my favorite things. I think there's a theme there. When I'm doing any of those things I can forget my troubles. A kind of temporary amnesia

“Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it."---Anon

love
peter

"For Sure"

I recently read someones thoughts on the idea of certainty. The writer professed that there was a kind of comfort in knowing what lies ahead. While there seems to be logic to this idea I wonder if it's a fruitless hope. Do we truly want to know what lies ahead or do we just want what lies ahead to be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everyday?(as the song goes) I'm pretty sure the answer is obvious. I really don't care to know when I'm gonna have the flu, or when the stock market is gonna go down (although that could be useful) or when my children are gonna be unhappy, or when I'm gonna die! I only want to know that things are gonna be good, and I want to know it with certainty.

Yah well that probably ain't gonna happen eh, and as such it occurs to me that the whole concept of achieving peace of mind through some foreknowledge of events is somewhat weak. In actual fact it could even be the exact opposite. I know that in my life at least, almost nothing has come to pass the way I thought it would. That's not to say that everything has been bad and in actual fact I have had more pleasant surprises then unpleasant ones. The point being that there have been many surprises, which further supports the idea that depending on a specific future is a hopeless wish. Think about it. All the wonderful things you plan on rarely pan out the way you hoped for, and most of ths shitty things you were certain were about to befall you either didn't come to pass, or turned out not to be shitty things at all.

In essence, certainty about bad things in the future brings me only pain today, and certainty about wonderful things in the future only brings me pain tomorrow.

So now that I have reasoned it out there is only one challenge left. How to still plan wisely for the future while being open to the vast range of variations and possibilities the future may hold. After all the idea of thinking in possibilities is in fact the opposite of thinking in certainty.

Is it possible that I'm up to the challenge! I'm not certain! The only thing I'm certain of is that it is possible! ........Whoa!........ That just made my head spin!

"When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way."--- Wayne Dyer

"What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are."--- Tony Robbins

love
peter

"Mission Accomplished!"

You're probably sick of hearing about our new blue roof so I promise this is the last time. It's DONE!!! We will be changing the paint on the windows and doors to match, but we need to wait for more dependable warm weather.





This is my favorite part of the whole roof. Note that there is no ugly tin in the valleys. Jon did an amzing job using a technique in which you actually overlap the shingles. Beautiful!







Now we're hoping for rain!

“Make your life a mission - not an intermission"---Anon

love
peter

"Blessings"

I'm very proud of my boys today.

These 2 put a roof on.

This one repainted a good portion of our house.

And this one is working on a Masters degree!

“Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory."---Douglas MacArthur

love

peter

"Oh Good"

It's raining again and will continue into tomorrow according to the internet. As long as the tarp holds out I don't really care. It's the wind that is the real curse. Maybe we'll get to sleep in tomorrow.

"The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late."---Charles Caleb Colton

love
peter

"So This is How It Feels"

To be a farmer like my Dad. When I was a kid I usually prayed for rain because it meant no working outside. No baling hay, no cultivating, no chopping weeds, and most important of all, no rock picking! How things change!

I'm really hoping for half decent weather for the next 2 days and then we should be able to finish up the roof. They are showing only a small "P.O.P" but the wind will be from the Southwest and fairly brisk. That's the exact wrong direction for the section we have to be on in the morning.

So wish us luck, or pray for us, or cross your fingers or anything else you think may help. That is if you care!

"One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be."---Anon

love
peter

"Rain, Rain, Go Away"

What kind of an idiot would put a new roof on his house in April. We've not been able to do anything for 3 days now and tomorrow's not gonna be any better....they're talking about snow! We have 2 days work left so hopefully by Saturday we can get back at it.

Meanwhile the rest of my life is just about perfect. Sometimes the little things remind one of that. Here's a verbatim conversation that took place while I was taking the kids to their house to put them to bed....mom's at work.

Kylie: I think Mom must have given my sucks to another little girl.
Grampa: Yes I'm sure there are other little girls smaller than you that don't have any sucks.
Colby: Yah Kylie, some kids don't even have a house to live in.
Grampa: Yah and some kids don't even have parents or grandparents.
Kylie: No parents?
Grampa: Yes that's sad but true.
Kylie: No parents? Then how do they know what to do??

I don't know what it was about this innocent conversation that suddenly made me feel so grateful, but I think perhaps it was the realization that my grandchildren have so many people that love them, and perhaps just as importantly the fact that they are able to take this for granted. They have 2 terrific parents, 2 sets of grandparents, a house to live in, and several other houses in which they are welcome. Of course Kylie's life would be just a little bit more perfect if her Mom hadn't given all of her sucks away!

"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain."---Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Whatever we are waiting for - peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance - it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart."---Sarah Ban Breathnach

love
peter

"It's All in Your Perspective"

I remember the old challenge of cutting up a potato such that it would fit through each of a round hole, a square hole and a triangular hole and completely fill the hole as it passed through. If you don't believe me give it a try....it works. The point of this demonstration is one of perspective. Not just does the potato fit through the respective holes, if you look at the potato in 2 dimensions from each of 3 different sides it will actually give you the impression of being square, triangular or round. If you never walked around the potato and looked at it from a different perspective you would believe what you see from where you sit.

Life's like that. For example, when dear Father Fuckhead had his heart attack in the confessional booth I remember as if it were yesterday the words my own dear departed father offered up when he told me. He said, and I quote, "They say that the good ones always go first!"

It's all in your perspective.

Now pass me some asswipe or get the hell out of my shithouse!!

"When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about."---Albert Einstein

"I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights."---Dr. Seuss

love
peter

"Please Forgive Me"

It is 9:15 pm and I just got into my hotel room after a tiring but gratifying day at work. Right now "tired" is the relevant word in that sentence and as such I ask your forgiveness for not sharing any inspirational thoughts tonite . Not to imply that I have actually had many of them anyway. But I still wish to add this to the list of all the things I need to be forgiven for. I can't remember exactly how it went when you were done confessing your sins to the priest but it was something like, "For these and all of the sins committed in my whole life I am heartily sorry". My older sisters would probably remember better than me since I assume they went to confession almost daily to get absolution for all the injustices they enacted upon me!!

....sometime I find the simplest quotes to be the most remarkable...

"To understand everything is to forgive everything"---Buddha

love
peter

"Ah Man!"

There's a garage too?

Jon has to go back to Kitchener. I have to go to to work in Toronto, and Adrian has another job as well. Also the weather channel says thunderstorms for the next couple of days. Good luck dear! Please don't fall off, and don't let a little thunder and lightening stop you. You can do it!!

....and I like this one...I go back and forth while my wife only perseveres

“The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't."---Henry Ward Beecher

love

peter

"A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words"

"Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum."--- Oliver Wendell Holmes

love
peter

"Mr Safety"

You'll note the properly tied off ladder. Yesterday it was about 4 feet to the left, not tied off, and sitting on a tarp that we were using to catch debris. I had a couple of lengths of eaves trough in my hands and as soon as I put one foot on the ladder it suddenly slipped a couple of feet and I lost my balance immediately. I landed on my left shoulder right about at the spot the ladder is now sitting. Right between the clay flower pot and the sharp stone that surrounds the flower bed. What I find interesting is that I have no memory of seeing anything on the way down and yet I remember clearly what I was thinking. I was considering if I was gonna miss the concrete??

We also had an interesting afternoon today. At about 4:30 the rain and the wind started and Roo, Adrian, Jon and I risked life and limb to get the exposed roof covered, amidst flying shingles, stinging gravel, and flapping tarps, while slipping and sliding on the progressively slippier roof. It took us quite some time, at which point the rain stopped and the wind died down....such is life....Although it was pretty stressful there was also something special about battling a crisis situation as a family. We also had "ground" support from Miguette and Alisha who took care of everything that hit the ground. Fortunately I wasn't one of those things!

...and on ladders...

"I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder"---Craig Charles

"I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine."--- Ron White

love
peter

"Another Learning Day"

They say that you gain your strongly held beliefs either through repeated experience or through a siginifcant emotional event. Of course I'm notorious for not learning either way....or at least for not retaining the learning. I think today's lesson will last for at least a few days however, and as such I don't think I'll fall off the roof tomorrow! I guess I should have stuck with my role of chief and stayed on the ground. For some reason I'm ok. Very, very sore, but ok.



The rest of the chiefs also tried their hand at some skilled labour but managed to stay safe in the process.



"If the truth contradicts deeply held beliefs, that is too bad."---Hans Eysenck

love
peter

"We're a Tribe"

And every tribe needs some Indians!





And at least as many Chiefs!



I remember as if it were yesterday, the first time I was allowed on the roof of the house. I think I was about Colbys age. Of course I remember it because it was so thrilling. Seeing my grandchildrens faces, and hearing the joy in their voices as they experience it, is a feeling that defies description.

"It is important to tell good stories. You can tell stories even if they are not huge, epic, and wonderful. You can still take the responsibility for being a scribe of your tribe."---Ajay Naidu

love
peter

"Fun To Watch at Least"

And that's all I plan on doing....well that and the odd bit of supervising. Jonathan especially loves it when I tell him what to do!

Besides, work is for children. They need to learn, and I already know everything.

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child."---George Santayana

love

peter

"Exciting Times"

We're gonna have fun the next four or five days but I don't want to let the cat out of the bag! Expect pictures!

“If it's not fun, you're not doing it right"---Bob Basso

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."---Dr Seuss

love peter

"The Wisdom of Others"

I just finished reading this piece of fiction called The Shack. It's story about a guy who is traumatized by the brutal murder of his youngest daughter. He never recovers from it and continues to live his life in what he calls "the great sadness". Then one day he gets a note in his mail box from God, asking him to meet him/her at the shack where his daughter was killed.

The story gets a bit hokey at this point and despite the authors attempts to appear neutral there is a strong Christian slant to the God he presents. I forgive him this though because he eventually makes a point that I thought was brilliant in it's simplicity. She/He (God) explains to the main character that every institution that exists on earth; every religion, every country, every army, every constitution, exists only because we do not wish the same happiness for our fellow human beings as we do for ourselves. The simple reason we need these institutions is to keep our fellow man in his place....his place right behind us. Ho goes on to state that we create rules and laws so that we can judge our fellow man, and in doing so we put ourselves above him. For is it not true he says that whenever we pass judgement on anyone we are in fact saying that we are better than him.

I don't know about you but I do this all the time, and normally feel quite righteous about it. I know so many people that are more dishonest, more selfish, more rude, more arrogant, not to mention less kind, less sincere, less generous, and above all, less humble than me!

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."---Dalai Lama

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."---Mother Teresa

"Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err. It passes my comprehension how human beings, be they ever so experienced and able, can delight in depriving other human beings of that precious right."---Mahatma Gandhi

love
peter

"Alarm Bells Part Deux"

If I had more skill in writing I wouldn't have to do part two. Or I suppose if the readers weren't such idiots! Just kidding. I accept complete responsibility for the apparent bewilderment caused my alarm bell analogy. To start with I should clarify that I have no new alarm bells going off in my head. I was just trying to encourage myself to pay attention to them.

When I was thinking about how I would clarify what an alarm bell meant to me I was originally going to suggest that it was like that old exhortation to "follow your heart" and that if you were doing otherwise you should try to be conscious of it before it was too late. Upon further thought I don't think that's really what I intended either. I often lead with my heart, especially when it comes to matters of family and I believe it has resulted in lots of mistakes on my part. In fact I often followed my heart despite the nagging sense of an alarm going off in the back of my head.

For me alarm bells (silent or otherwise) are those warnings that tell us to do something. Probably something different than what we're doing now. Things we are either afraid to do or are too complacent to do. Things we know are the smart thing to do but somehow manage to delay.

I would give you some examples of my own alarm bells but if I wrote them down I would not be able to keep ignoring them. And that scares the hell out of me. If I truly acknowledged the alarms I'm pretty sure I would have to do a few things differently. Maybe tomorrow....or the next day?

I hope that clarifies. If not I'm sorry, and I give you the immortal words of Pierre Elliot Trudeau. "Fuddle Duddle"

“The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."---Jacques Benigne Bossuel

"If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example."--- George Bernard Shaw

love
peter

"Saturday Night"

And I'm lazy. I'm counting on someone out there to provide some wisdom via the comment section. Is there anybody out there?

“Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you"---Ogden Nash

love
peter

"Alarm Bells"

I heard a guy tell a story the other day about a man sitting in his hotel room when the fire alarm went off. He did what I admit having done in a similar situation; nothing! Pretty risky thing to do I suppose, but speaking at least for myself I am conditioned to ignoring alarms.

The fire alarm is a loud, very literal example of a warning, the ignoring of which could lead to tangible and potentially serious consequences.

In contrast there's the silent alarm. Obviously it's a lot more subtle and actually intended to go unnoticed by the perpetrator, even though he may suspect that an alarm is going off somewhere, but still an alarm with potential serious consequences.

I think I'm pretty good at ignoring both kinds of alarms, but mine only go off in my head! Some are blaring and warn of immediate danger, and some are quieter but no less ominous.

Are you listening to your alarms? Maybe you're in danger?

"Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not."---Ursula K. Le Guin

...and maybe the reason I ignore alarms is because I'm so brave...

"I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer."--- Bob Monkhouse

love
peter

"Too Freakin Cool"

I had to write an extra post tonite (this morning) just because this is way too cool. You will be able to find my regular wednesday post below this. So what's so cool? Well I'm writing this post on the freaking airplane!!! Big deal eh? I've written lots of posts on a plane. But I'm not just writing it....I'm posting it from the plane!!! Yup. Believe it or not they have wireless internet on the freakin airplane. It cost me 10 bucks but I just couldn't resist. I am somewhere over western California but about to cross the border into Nevada, and we're at 35000 ft. I know this because I can track my airplanes progress on the web. I have 3 hours and 41 minutes of flight time left and it is 2:49 am eastern time.

Actually I think I will make this my thursday post, but I will add to it after I get home and after I sleep the day away. I'm supposed to be trying to sleep right now but instead I'm talking to you. That's ok, a guy can sleep any time.

I think I'll check out Roos facebook. I heard a rumour that she's a Leafs fan now!

Oh....couldn't get on facebook...something about them doing maintenance. What kind of bullshit is that?! And I don't want to go on the sports site because I already know what the stupid habs did tonite!

CNN maybe? No, only depressing stuff there as well!

I got it! What about young Roo's blog. Aha! there's something. Jessica, don't you dare give up on going to university if that's what you want. Maybe it just isn't the right time for you. Old Roo went when she was very, very old.....like almost 40 or something!!

Ahh. Facebook is back, and indeed my Roo is now cheering for the leafs. Not much else interesting there though. Now what?

I could do some work? Yah right! Screw that. It's the middle of the night!

But how to get my 10 bucks worth? Probably by turning this thing off and going to sleep.

....and for you young Roo...

“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat."---Sylvester Stallone

Internet on the airplane! Too Freaking Cool!

From somewhere over Colorado. More tomorrow

love
peter

I promised more but not how much more. I got home at 9 am with a total of about 30 mins sleep in the back of the car, had a coffee and a quick bite to eat, and then some sleep. I forced myself out of bed around 2:30 because I knew that if I didn't I would be totally screwed up by tonite. It's now almost 9 pm and and I'm starting to fade again. I'm gonna try to stay up long enough to see if the Habs can blow another 2 goal lead, and then I will hit the hay again. I'm tired....or maybe just lazy?

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."---Jules Renard

love
peter

"What I Learned"

Since I’ve been away on this expensive conference there is some expectation from my company that I learn something that brings value to our organization. In my many experiences with such opportunities I have invariably learned that the information I gather is as valuable to , and often interchangeable with my personal life. So since I should prepare a report for my peers at work I choose to test run it on you guys, and then maybe make a few modifications before I offer it up for my friends at Cosma.

So In bullet points, and in no particular order here are the things that I either learned for the first time or which I knew already but were reinforced.

·Everyone should have a set of clearly stated family(company) values
·Our job as Leaders is to increase leadership capacity both on an individual and organizational level and the success in this area is the number one indicator of an organizations success.
·To achieve anything the top leaders(parents, grand parents) need to buy in.
·Your behavior needs to move you towards your goal. Anything less is counterproductive.
·Ask yourself not, are people smart, but rather, how are they smart?
·Have patience for people to learn but have no patience for poor behavior.
·How is your emotional bank account with those around you….are you overdrawn?
·Is this the ‘right’ thing to do?
·Life is all about memories.
·A tribe(family, company) is something you join to sustain life.
·Are you paying attention to the alarm bells in your life/work?
·Seventy one percent of all employees everywhere are not engaged in their jobs.
·Don’t just mark my paper, help me get an “A”.
·When employees come to work they often “sit and quit”!
·You have no right as a leader to screw up someone else’s life.
·If you can’t make people happy at least don’t hurt them.
·Sometimes we withhold information from others because it gives us power.
·Decide what is non-negotiable, in your work and in your life.
·Think about all the things that could go wrong…it’s not negativism, it’s just preparedness.
·If you have a leader recruiting other leaders you tend to get the same kind of people.
·Changing your own behavior opens up a world of opportunities.
·In the pharmaceutical industry it takes on average 23 years to bring a product to market.
·Aim for excellence instead of perfection.
·Everyone should have a coach.
·No great thing is created suddenly.
·Leadership starts on the inside.
·It’s always the leader.
·Treat your people as a family and lead with love.
·Leadership is about always bringing hope.
·Leadership is about managing energies….yours and others.
·Being positive changes peoples behavior.
·People first….then shareholders and customers.
·Good times and bad times require servant leadership
·When an employee isn’t working out you always have the opportunity to “share him with the competition”
·Are you here to serve or be served.
·As a leader, it’s not all about you!
·Do you own anything…your position, your people, your resources, or are they just on loan?
·Servant leaders like and encourage feedback.
·Every human being is important.
.Leadership development is most effective when applied to ones self!

...and my personal favorite....

.If life were a chess game, then at the end of the game the King and the Pawn go into the same box!!!

"I am defeated, and know it, if I meet any human being from whom I find myself unable to learn anything."---George Herbert Palmer

love
peter

"Mushroom Soup"

This hotel has the best mushroom soup I ever tasted… and skim milk!!

I’m obviously getting old. San Diego and area is supposed to be one of the most interesting places in the US and instead of spending a few extra days here to enjoy the city and the beaches, I am taking the overnight flight home tomorrow night….just to get back to the place where I’m happiest. Home!

If I could just get my wife to make soup like these people do, I may never leave home again.

“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to"---John Ed Pearce

love
peter

"As Promised"

Your regualar dose of travellers diarrhea!
And before you make Michaels mistake of asking why I never posted in time today, please know that it is only 10:40 pm in San Diego, CA. Anyway....here you go. I wrote it on the plane.

I arrived at Detroit/Wayne County airport a little earlier than I like to but someone else had scheduled the driver and so I didn’t bother to change it. I knew I would have time to kill. This airport is special to me for a couple of reasons and somehow I think they’re connected. First off it seems like a very efficient place. Despite all the times I’ve travelled through here I have never had any kind of serious delay getting through security. In today’s paranoid society that in itself is remarkable. Secondly it is also one of the coldest, most clinical spots on this planet. I mean that figuratively of course. Absolutely no one in this airport ever smiles. Not the staff, not the travelers, not even the young people it seems.

So how are these 2 observations connected? I think both of them are a reflection of the metropolis of Detroit itself. If I heard correctly the other day I believe that the population of Detroit has slipped under the 1 million mark recently, from a peak of approximately 2 million some years ago. So you can see the obvious connection. The airport never has security delays simply because there are so many less people using it, and furthermore the people are miserable because of the incredible drop in the local economy over the last 10 years.

What I find interesting about this connection is the chicken and the egg consideration that begs an answer. I know I implied that people are miserable because of the economy and the accompanying loss of jobs, and in turn inhabitants, but I’m not so sure that’s how it really transpired. I’ve been travelling through this airport for many years and as far as I can remember it has always been a miserable place. If you can make such a leap from a social perspective I suspect that in this case the egg came first. I believe that Detroit had become an unhappy society in the first place, eventually leading to a climate of dissatisfaction and ultimately decay. Yes, and then resulting in plant closings, job loss and poverty. The antagonism between the auto manufacturers and the unions became so prevalent that it eventually swallowed up the community in a spirit of anger and hate. I’ve had the opportunity to walk the floors of many of the “Big Threes” assembly plants over the years and you could feel the animosity exuding from the workers, and the non-caring attitude of the managers.

So that’s my social commentary for today. In summary I believe that the battle for more and more of the good life as identified by material things can eventually bring an entire society to ruin. Everyone learns to hate what they have to do, in order to get what they think they want, and in the end everyone is screwed….except for me because I get to pass quickly through security with no hassle!!

I wonder what my social science son would have to say about my conjecture? He’s a bit of a liberal so maybe he’s going to blame the bosses. Let’s see it this sparks anything?? Of course he’s more educated than me and as such will probably be able to make a good argument. And now that he’s officially a graduate student with scholarship money and more independence, I can’t even threaten to stop paying his tuition. Oh well, I suppose that was the goal all along eh?

And lastly a sad goodbye to my Moms youngest brother, Ome Hank, who just left this world to join Mom…lucky guy I’d say!

But back to Detroit, here’s one for you that might help to explain the current situation

“Nothing fails like success”---Anon

"Downtown Detroit has more vacant buildings over 10 storeys than any city in the world."---Meg White

But I suppose the Motor City has had worse times....1967 for instance.

"Motor city madness has touched the countryside
And through the smoke and cinders
You can hear it far and wide
The doors are quickly bolted
And the children locked inside
Black day in July
Black day in July
And the soul of Motor City
is bared across the land
As the book of law and order
is taken in the hands
Of the sons of the fathers
who were carried to this land"---Gordon Lightfoot

love
peter