"A Kiss is Just a Kiss"

The other day I was sending Colby off to school and as is his want and mine he gave me a kiss and a hug before he took off. For some reason it was the very first time that I wondered when he would grow too old to kiss grampa? Especially because he kisses me right on the lips. As I walked back to the house pondering this question I wondered why it suddenly occurred to me at that moment and I think I figured it out. It was because there were other kids his age there at the same time, and the thought went through my mind to wonder whether they also kissed their fathers or grandfathers? Taking it further it suddenly occurred to me that when you get to be seven years old there is the constant risk of doing something that may be seen as childish behaviour by your peers. I wondered if there would soon be a chance that someone would ridicule him for kissing an adult, especially an old ugly one. If that happened and I believe that it is inevitable at some point how would he feel? He is a very well adjusted kid with a strong sense of self and a robust personality, but I also know how much children can be influenced by others in their peer group. Just the other day while dressing for soccer I suggested that the top of his socks should be rolled down but he heartily disagreed, explaining to silly old me that that wzs not the way it was done. When we got to the soccer field I seen him approaching his team mates and suddenly stop in the middle of the field to fold over his socks. He had by then spotted how everyone else was wearing theirs.

So what to do? Do I wean him off the affection in order to potentially save him from some teasing, and in doing so give up one of the most precious parts of our relationship? Or do I let society run it's course and let him take his chances? And even if I chose to try to save him potential embarrassment how to I justify it to him? Do I tell him it's wrong? Do I tell him he's getting too old Do I just start subtly avoiding the public showing of affection?

I know what his Dad would say. Peter kisses me on the lips all the time and he would simply threaten to beat anybody up who had anything to say about it. While I agree with his opinion the fact still remains that it could cause pain for a child, maybe even more so if a parent or grandparent publicly stood up for him.

I never ever remember kissing my father when I was a child but surely there must have been a time? Or did he think the fact I was a small shy child, ignorant of the ways of the world, and who peed his pants every day at school was enough burden for one kid without also having to be teased about that. Probably eh? NOT! I think he just wasn't the type for physical demonstrations of affection unless you consider kicking me in the ass to be affection. And maybe...just maybe.... if I had some more of that ( affection that is, not ass kicking) I wouldn't have been such a scared little kid whenever I was faced with the realities of the "nuns" and the "town kids"

You know I've often found that writing this blog about something important to me is like having a conversation, or even a negotiation with myself and many times it has helped me come to some conclusion of some kind. This one is no exception. Despite the fears I express I know in my heart of hearts what the right thing is for both Colby and for me.

I'm gonna keep kissing him on the mouth as long as he'll let me...society be damned!

"A kiss seals two souls for a moment in time."---~Levende Waters

"Is not a kiss the very autograph of love?"---Henry Finck

love
peter