"Lets Make a Deal"

I spent the biggest portion of my ride today negotiating with myself about how far I would go and what kind of deal I could make around that. Initially I had hoped for at least 120 kms followed up by a 7.4 km run. Things were going alright if a bit slow, but then the rains began after about an hour and a half. That's when I really started to rationalize some way to shorten things up. I finally convinced myself that if I hung tough with the 125k then I could accept doing a somewhat shorter run, probably the 4.5 k jaunt to the psych and back. In the end I rode 128 kms in a time of 4 hours and 24 minutes and felt decent enough on my run to complete 7 kms in just over 35 minutes. I was pretty whipped by the end, as well as very very wet, but it felt good to hang in there. Your supposed to listen to your body and in essence that's what I ended up doing. I truly felt pretty good despite the weather. I think I was much better fueled then my previous long attempts. You can see that I added some behind-the-seat storage thereby allowing me to double up on my energy drink while still being able to carry enough water. I took in about 1100 calories over the length of the ride, which is still shy of what I need. The next time I will mix it even stronger.





All in all a satisfying workout day.

I wish to dedicate day 225 to the Mom of Sean Clarke. May things go well for her.

“I was negotiating a contract to accept Jesus as my personal savior, but he refused to recognize my free sex clause."---Al Medwin

love
peter

"Masks"

They are a bit weird but then traits like that tend to skip a generation, and as such you can figure out where they get it from.

If only all my masks where as innocent as the ones these two wear.

How does it get this way anyway? How did I ever learn to hide parts of me, and perhaps more importantly why did I ever feel the need? And beyond that will I ever unlearn the skill to the point that I am literally unmasked? I wish I could say yes, but probably the habits or fears are too deeply ingrained.

Back to the why and when. Was it as a youngster in the catholic elementary school trying to protect myself from the scorn of Sister Michaela? Was it as a juvenile trying to protect myself from the more sophisticated "town" kids? Was it as a teenager trying to impress the girls. Was it as a young adult entering the big bad world and learning to survive while woefully unprepared?

While the when and why may be in doubt, the one thing I'm pretty sure of is that I wasn't born with a mask. I was born honest and transparent, and I wish to get back to that condition. Unlike paper plate masks, the more sophisticated emotional, psychological masks of adulthood take much more maintenance...much more work along with the associated stress. It's kind of like like living a lie. You always have to work hard to remember who you have been trying to be. I'm working on the problem, and while certainly I've made some headway particularly since my illness, I still have a long way to go. I am still sometimes afraid. Is it just me? If you dare....tell me I'm not alone. Of course if you don't I will never know. Perhaps you don't wear a mask of any kind or perhaps you are afraid as well??

I wish to dedicate day 224 to Adam West who also wore a mask, but only in order to keep the world safe.

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. ...You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask."---Jim Morrison

“Sometimes people carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due course they actually become the person they seem."---William Somerset Maugham

....and though I generally try to avoid long quotes this guy(whoever he is) managed to say what I wanted but much more poetically...

“Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;... In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all."---Soren Kierkegaard

love
peter

"The Good Old Days"

I remember the good old days of yesteryear. Yes literally last year. When I was still as sick as a dog, or at least I thought I was. It was really great because I could feel sorry for myself all the time, and not have to take responsibility for anything, least of all for my attitude. I had it worse than anyone and as such everyone took such good care of me and had such patience for me. Everyone was always sympathetic and understanding and regularly checked in to see how I was doing. Everyone felt as compassionate for me as I felt sorry for myself. Poor Peter!!

Unfortunately those good times are gone. I think I made a mistake in trying to get my health back in order. The harder I work at it the less attention I get, and even worse than that there are poeple out there that purposely do things to put me in my place.

Case in point today at the pool. This lady I've never even met had to point out in a very graphic way how good I have it. Here's the story.

I'm swimming away and as I splash up and down the lane I am always on the lookout for who's walking onto the pool deck, with the hope that no one is going to try to get in my lane with me. You can usually tell by the way they are dressed whether they are coming to swim laps or if they are just passing through on the way to the hot tub or sauna. Of course if they're carrying a pair of goggles then that's a dead giveaway. Anyway, I had a lane to myself for some time when this younger looking woman started out on the deck. I noticed that she had some kind of fabric wrap around one knee so I was pretty sure she wasn't getting in the pool at all. Much to my surprise and dismay though, she stopped at the end of the pool and started to remove the wrap. Bummer I thought, but I could at least hope that she would choose a different lane, and in an effort to help her with that decision I made sure to swim agressively. As I closed to the end of the pool and within reach of my limited eyesight I got a surprise. She was not removing the wrap at all but rather she was removing her leg!! She stood her leg by the wall. It could stand by itself as it had it's own tennis shoe. She then hopped on over to the lane next to me, jumped in, and proceeded to swam laps about twice as fast as me.

I'm pretty sure this lady showed up at the pool and went through that whole exercise just for my benefit. Just to snub my ongoing attempts to feel sorry for myself. Shame on her for being so inconsiderate eh? I want the good old days back. Life was so much simpler.

I wish to dedicate day 223 to this very same lady. How do some people do it?

“Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory."---Franklin Pierce Adams

“In every age 'the good old days' were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them."--- Brooks Atkinson

love
peter

"Burnt!"

I couldn't figure out why the back of my neck felt so sensitive at the end of my run, only to finally realize it was sunburn. It kinda snuck up on me. I have always been a little arrogant about the sun preferring to never use sunscreen. Apparently that can cause cancer, but I think I'm immune now though don't you? Isn't that how it works? All the freakin radiation they gave me should be good for something.

Anyway, as to that run, it was marginally successful at best. I had planned on 37 kms and barely survived a very tough 30. Oh well, I don't really care. There were probably a few factors one of which might have been that little pink pill that Claudette gave me this morning. It was supposed to be for my anxiety, but it could have been anything just to get me off her back about my stress level. It looked remarkably like those little pills that she used to take that came in a little wheel, good for one month at a time??? Besides all the training manuals tell me that I don't need to run longer than that from here on in. I just wanted to get one more long one in before the marathon in 13 days. I think another factor may have been dehydration. I couldnt believe what I weighed when I came back. I thought I drank enough but I obviously need to adjust my intake for the warmer weather. And I did my weights last night as well. Peter has stepped me up to 3 sets, which is a much tougher workout. I hate it actually but thanks to Peter for keeping me going.

I did however have a decent swim this morning. Not spectacular but a steady 2 kms in my wetsuit, and without too much effort.

One thing I am worried about is my lower back and my hips, the left one particularly. It has bothered me ever since my illness from spending so much time in bed and I think all the biking is making it worse. I will try to get in for some massage therapy to loosen things up a little. I can live with the way it is now but I worry because the long bike rides have only just begun. Maybe it's just old age but I'm not ready to accept that yet.

I wish to dedicate day 222 to my old friend Paul Nieman. The tallest and one of the nicest Dutchmen I've ever met.

“Old age and sickness bring out the essential characteristics of a man."---Felix Frankfurter

love
peter

"Fancy Clothes"

They say the clothes make the man.

Well that's probably bullshit but regardless I figured it can't hurt so I went and bought this. It's my new race suit intended specifically for triathlon. And it is incredible! I wore it today just to try it out and I am very happy. It is of course intened to be worn for all events. Gone are the old days of changing your clothes for Ironman events. Back in my old triathlon life stuff like this never even existed.



Today I rode 33 kms in just under an hour and then a short run of 4.5 kms, and it felt good in both disciplines. The material is supportive and yet not restrictive in any way. I will of course put it away now and use it only for racing. With what I had to pay for it, it needs to last for about 10 years!

I wish to dedicate day 221 to my Ome Hank Scheepers, my moms brother. I'm not sure why he came to mind today or if he's even alive, but I remember him with pleasure.

“Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance."---Henry Ward Beecher

love
peter

"Ground Control to Major Tom"

"This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world, Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do
Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go"

I used to ask my self what decision I would make if I had the chance to travel to outer space and there was a 50/50 chance that I would never return. I always believed I would take the chance and go. I still think I would do it. I think maybe there's something to be said for the idea of floating aimlessly, endlessly in space with no illusion of control. No offense to anyone else but only saying goodbye to my grandchildren would make me think twice.

I wish to dedicate day to Yuri Gagarin....look him up if you don't know.

“Space flights are merely an escape, a fleeing away from oneself, because it is easier to go to Mars or to the moon than it is to penetrate one's own being"---Carl Jung

love
peter

"There is no God!"

Today I'm with Peter on this one. If there was a God then there wouldn't be 35km/hr winds on the day I'm supposed to ride long.

It was a tough day overall. I started out at the pool and completed 1500 metres total. Ten kms into my ride I suddenly knew one of my cleats was loose and then quickly also realized that I didn't have any tools. So I limped back home, changed to my other shoes and headed back out into the hurricane. At about 65 kms I made a new friend. A very big very ugly shepherd crosss who could run 35 kms/hr without breathing hard. Fortunately he only wanted to race me, not eat me! I finished 101 kms in a slow 3 hrs 43 minutes. As planned I followed it up by a run which was also not very successful. I did the block but walked for about 6 minutes. I'm not sure why I didn't have more energy? I expected to fly today and yet I was sluggish. The only explanation I have is that maybe I didn't eat and/or drink enough. I know that I lost a surprising amount of fluids....about 6 pounds worth. Oh and I chose not do do my weights tonite. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Of course I don't seriously discount God just because there was some wind today and on the contrary some may consider it to be proof of his existence. But if there were a god, my childern would not have to suffer the way they do. I've had enough!! He has 24 hours to prove his existence to me or I'm giving up!!! So there!!!

I wish to dedicate day 219 to John Muir, the nice gentleman who regularly drives me back and forth to the airport. The next time I see him I'm gonna ask if he believes??

“Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?"---Friedrich Nietzsche

"No matter how much I prove and prod,
I cannot quite believe in God;
But oh, I hope to God that He
Unswervingly believes in me."---E.Y. Harburg

"I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk."---John Marcellus Huston

love
peter

"Feelin Lucky!"

Sometimes the little things work out. I didn’t get bumped to first class for my flight home but I think I got the best seat on the plane. Of course I always go online repeatedly to try to get an aisle seat and as close to the front as possible, but this time I managed to get the seat directly behind first class. Because of the seat configuration I actually have significantly more leg room even then the people up front, and to top that off the only empty seat on the plane is the one beside me! I have my entire belongings spread out, my music, my book, my water and my computer. And we actually left Monterrey early, so maybe I’m even gonna get home in time for a quick run.

Knowing I would not get anything to eat on the plane I made sure to grab something at the airport. Slowly, just slowly mind you, but undeniably I am starting to be able to eat more and more things that were impossible just 6 months ago. Today I had a very greasy, very tasty, guacamole, bacon burger! Woohoo! I’m not really hopeful but one of these days I may even try pizza again.

I guess that overall I have had lots of luck in my life. Those things that I grieve over are as much a result of my own stupidity as anything else, and in contrast most of the positive things in my life are primarily attributable to being in the right place at the right time. Take my job for example. I have worked for Magna for more than 24 years now and I literally stumbled into the opportunity all those years ago. I was working for myself and in actual fact didn’t even know the name of the company that owned the building in which I was working. Then of course there’s the fact that within a year of that, the love of my life happened to stumble into the very same building. If those 2 events combined don’t qualify as fortuitous then I don’t know what does. Since then there’s been so many little things that seemed to fall into place all by themselves. Like our house. All my life I dreamed of 5 acres in the country and suddenly there was this incredible place 3 minutes from town and 8 minutes from where I worked. Again we came across it accidently….we weren’t even looking at the time. And more recently to have the incredible good fortune that the house next door became available, allowing me to share so closely in the lives of my grandchildren. Again, just pure ,shit luck and nothing else!! I suppose I must also consider the big one, and that’s the escape I recently made from the grim reaper. While you may say that there was more than luck involved in that one, I have to acknowledge that living close to one of the best medical facilities in the world was certainly nothing to minimize from the perspective of travelling and coping with all the crap. And to think that that was the second time in my life that I was the beneficiary of this proximity to London….the first time being Michael all those years ago.

So I’m truly feeling lucky, anxious as always to get home and sleep in my own bed….maybe I’ll even get lucky eh??

I am of course stressed by 4 days of inactivity and I desperately hope that I get right back into the swing of it. I know it’s absurd but it seems like just a few days of doing nothing erodes my confidence so quickly. Tomorrow I will do some of everything. Swim in the morning, long bike ride(at least 100k) followed by a run, and then I will do my weights in the evening. Actually that sounds crazy doesn’t it? We’ll see what happens? Speaking of crazy, Brett asked me if I wanted to go run the last 30 k of the marathon course in London on Saturday morning. It seemed like a sensible thing to do until he mentioned 7 am!! I don’t think so Brett! The mans a lunatic with this obsessive training thing he does!

Of course I’m joking with Brett, but sometimes I do wonder about myself. There are so many other things that I could be doing with my time that I really enjoy. I love puttering around the farm, I love building things out of wood, and of course the model helicopter still sits in the basement un-flown. Committing 15 hours or more a week to training tends to put those things on the back burner. Instead I’m out riding my bike for 5 or 6 hours at a time. Sometimes I just wonder. I certainly don’t think a second ironman is in my future. Oh but don’t worry dear….your gazebo thing will be done before I leave town again…I promise. Or maybe I should say “if I get lucky”!!!

I wish to dedicate day 218 to good old Bob McCara who gave me the job I started on Jan 13th 1985. And before you ask, it was a Monday!

“A man on a date wonders if he will get lucky. The woman already knows”---Monica Piper

“The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive”---W C Fields

“Just tell yourself ducky, you’re really quite lucky”---Dr Seuss

love
peter

"And on the 217th Day"

He rested!
217 Days!! Not a wonder I'm tired eh?

So you'll just have to to do without any of my nonsensical ramblings for today because although the spirit is willing the flesh is weak. I am exhausted from lack of exercise and lack of sleep. If this don't beat all I can honestly say that I am much less tired when I have worked out strenuously for days on end, than when I have taken time off. And to add to that my body is more sore than it normally is. I just took several aspirin to try to deal with the constant nagging soreness in my lower back and hip, and in a few minutes I am going to take one of those little blue pills that make me go to sleep. So Good Night!

I wish to dedicate day 217 to my friend Roman de la Torre who is a man as passionate as his name suggests.

“Last night I dreamed I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted, yet too well rested to go back to sleep."---Bob Ingman

“I shall need to sleep three weeks on end to get rested from the rest I've had."---Thomas Mann

love

peter

"Food!"

When it's the right stuff I can still eat. It may seem funny but I think my appetite is greater when I'm not working out. I ate a large breakfast at the hotel, followed by a large lunch at the plant and then an even larger dinner back at the hotel, including 2 beers and cheesecake for dessert. I am sure that I consumed over 5000 calories today. This hotel restaurant is exceptional and if I think that if I were here all the time I would certainly put on weight....or maybe I would just be able to train harder and longer...who knows?

Anyway, I actually did some work today which always makes me feel good. I think that after many, many years of learning I am finally starting to be effective with people. By effective I mean that I am starting to more wisely give counsel and advice, without shooting my self in the foot through poorly thought out comments, or by sharing my thoughts without enough data. In the past I had to work twice as hard at things just because I was often my own worst enemy. The extra bonus in this, beyond the feeling of effectiveness, is the feeling of pleasure that comes with building new relationships. There is nothing more gratifying then positive feedback from someone who you just recently met. Especially when you have some influence over that persons life and yet they choose to trust you. The one thing that I have become convinced of, is that if told with sincerity and thoughtfulness, people always want to know the truth.
Well except for me of course!!!

I had a good day today. I tell you so with the hope that it also positively impacts the mood of those who love me. I feel very fortunate to have you all in my life.

I wish to dedicate day 216 to Tina Lisa Skerrett, daughter-in-law of my friend Brian, and mother of his only grandson. Tina Lisa is terminally ill with cancer.

....and from a man who should know...

"One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating."---Luciano Pavarotti

...but perhaps Luciano should have spent more time jerking off...

"If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate."---Diogenes

love
peter

"No Diatribe"

Sorry no tirade either. But not because I don't feel like it but rather because I'm getting forgetful in my old age. Somehow I managed to bring the wrong power supply for my computer and I am in my hotel room running on batteries. I hope that at the plant tomorrow they will have something I can borrow. Meanwhile I need to keep my entry short. I still promise to revisit the addiction issue at a later date.

A few signs of the times. I got bumped to business class on the plane partially because I travel a lot, but the biggest reason I think is that there are seats available, simply because business travellers are not prepared to pay the extra dollars anymore. Along the same line, the thing I appreciate about business class is that they give me food....this morning it was cheerios!! And I guess the third indicator of a struggling corporate world is that the guy across for me ordered baileys with his coffee at 9 am! He must have needed it to face his day?

I spent a long time in the immigration line in Monterrey upon arrival and so had time to study the rest of the travellers and made this observation. To start with, because this flight originated out of Detroit the majority of them are in the automotive industry (you can tell from the chatter) but what I noticed specifically is that probably 9 ouy of 10 of them were overweight. I'm not making a judgement because I've been there as well, but the overall preponderance of the problem was staggering for me as I looked down the line. Stress, poor eating habits, lack of exercise...I find it a little frightening for my peers most of whom work very, very hard. And the stress level in our industry grows by the day. Again, you can hear it in the conversations on the airplane and in the lines.

Quick....everyone get out there and buy a new car and help us out.

I wsih to dedicate day 215 to my old friend Maik Reincke who I ran into today, and who's as thin as ever!

...and tonite I found the perfect quote...

"This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat content."---Dave Barry

love
peter

"Procrastinating Again"

I try to avoid falling into the habit of putting things off until tomorrow and most times I am successful. Today however I'm gonna give myself a break. I had planned a diatribe on one of my favorite topics (societys attitude towards addiction) but choose to wait until tomorrow. I have to be up at 5 am to catch a plane and as such I need to pack it in early. By the same token I will have lots of time tomorrow. I will just tell you that what motivated me to tackle this one again was a guy I passed while out running today.


And on that note it was another pretty good day training day. I swam 2500 metres this morning, including a continuous 2000 metres with pull buoys, came straight home and ran 30 kms in 2 hours 45 minutes and then did my weights 2 hours after that. Very satisfying and very tiring. I actually think it's a good time to take a few days off so my work trip fits in nicely. Tomorrow I will also give you an update on my overall progress....where I think I am in each discipline and what still scares me.

I wish to dedicate day 214 to my Grandma Scheepers who based on her prolific ability to birth children, either put off everything or nothing I don't know which, but she certainly never put off grampa!

....and this usually works for me...

"There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house."---Joe Ryan

love
peter

"Oh the Humanity"

Way too many people in way too small a space! I can tolerate crowds outside well enough but when they are packed indoors, fighting for space it drives me crazy. Of course if the cause is significant enough I need to make the effort.




And I'm talking about Colbys cause of climbing the tower not the cause of the WWF. I tell you that if the future of our planet depends on their ability to organize anything then the planet is in big trouble.

But what a gratifying day for him and for his family. He did the entire 1776 steps in exactly 30 minutes. As you can see he is very proud. I see endurance athletics in hs future....Oh and yes, Claudette did it too but it wasn't a workout for her. She still had to run when we got home.

Training today amounted to a 38 km ride in nasty winds. Swim and longer run and weights tomorrow, before my sabbatical to Mexico. Unfortunately I still need to work a little as well.

I wish to dedicate day 213 to Brendan Keenoy who holds the CN Tower climb record of 7 minutes and 52 seconds....wow!

Question?....without looking it up, what event is linked to the expression I used for my title?

“Lone eagles, soaring in the clouds, fly with silent, peaceful poise, while turkeys, in their earth-bound crowds, fill the atmosphere with noise."---William Arthur Ward

"The only certainty about following the crowd is that you will all get there together."---Mychal Wynn

love
peter

"Almost!"

It's now 11:39 pm and I was about to go to bed. I was out at a special dinner for my friend Richard Robilliard tonite, and when I got back I was heading to bed when Claudette said, "your blog". I almost forgot....phew!

So that's it for today. We have to get up early tomorrow to take Colby and Roo to the big CN Tower climb. I'll give you a report tomorrow.

An easy training day. Short swim and short run. Very tired but feeling good.

I wish to dedicate day 212 to my friend Dan Kennedy, who did so much work for Richards dinner.

...on "almost"...

“I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be."---Douglas Adams

“He who has why to live can bear almost any how."---Friedrich Nietzsche

...and this one because I loved it so...it made me think of my beautiful little granddaughter

“It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman."---Alexandre Dumas Père

love
peter

"Looking Ahead"

I promised you a look at the final product so here it is. I am quite happy with my creation. It is very stable and yet adjustable as required.

.


Here's the view from the drivers seat.





Again I am pretty happy with the results. That being said it is going to take some getting used to. Of course what you see is upside down but that's really not the problem. There are actually a few factors that I didn't think about, but the biggest challenge is trusting the mirror. The subconscious mind wants to tell you that the picture that you are seeing is behind you, not in front of you and that tended to freak me out. Also when looking ahead in a mirror there is not really a frame of reference like looking in the rear view mirror of your car, where you can see the side of your car as well. The other small problem is that it is hard to see loose gravel , which can quickly become the "skinny tire" cyclists' worst nightmares. I'm gonna give it some time and see how it goes, and/or try to figure out how to get the mirror closer to me which will help ameliorate some of the problems. I'm thinking on top of my water bottle somehow.


It was a fairly eventful training day overall. My plan was a long bike ride followed by a run. It was truly a fantastic day for it, good temperatures and not too much wind, even though it picked up as the day wore on. Things went well until about 25 kms at which point an effin herd of dogs came at me. They seen me coming(three of them) way in advance and so were already at the road when I got there. And no Cory they never saw me! Them bastards seen me!!! I actually had quite a scare because the one was very aggressive, snarling and barking and right on my wheel. But they finally backed of and let me on my way. I really struggled on my second lap tryuing to decide what to do...to go a different route to avoid them or to take the risk again? In the end I thought that if I gave in today, what about next time? That particular stretch of road is one of my favorites and they were not going to steal it from me. I was however grateful that they were not out the next time I went by. Regardless , tomorrow I will drive out there and get the address and call animal control. I know they will at least get a warning. Hopefully their dogs aren't tagged and if so they will probably get a visit and a fine as well.


Everything else on the bike ride went well. My first 50k lap was just over 29 kms/hr and my second one at close to 31 kms/hr for a total 100 kms in 3 hours 21 minutes. I'm more than satisfied with that. Then a quick change of shoes and I ran the block in 36 minutes, no walking! With this I am much more that satisfied. I don't know exactly why but without a doubt good things are happening. I'm sure that the weight training is a factor and so towards that end Peter and I spent our workout session tonite talking instead of training, and you know what....that's ok as well.

I wish to dedicate day 211 to Gerry Maddocks, the last guy in a long line of people who fired me from a job. After that one I finally figured it out.

...so on mirrors...

“We look into mirrors but we only see the effects of our times on us -- not our effects on others."---Pearl Bailey

...and on dogs...

“Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."---Anon

...and on talking to your kid instead of working out...

“Good fathers make good sons"---Anon

love
peter

"Time Out"

It was tough but I managed to take the day off completely, because the books say I should. Regardless I already feel like I'm wasting away and getting fat at the same time! Back at it hard tomorrow. I need to get several good workouts in the rest of the week, since I will be on the shelf in Mexico next week.

I feel always like time is slipping away and I need to shake that feeling. It's not productive.

I wish to dedicate day 210 to my wife, who spends most of her time doing something for somebody. God'll get her for that!

"I wasted time, and now doth time waste me."---William Shakespeare

"Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."---Mark Twain

"How did it get so late so soon?It's night before it's afternoon.December is here before it's June.My goodness how the time has flewn.How did it get so late so soon?"---Dr. Seuss

love
peter

"Breakthrough!"

That's how I feel about my swim today. As I mentioned yesterday I thought I might try the distance again but I left for the pool with some trepidation. I knew that it would be tougher both physically and mentally today simply because it was my second shot in a row. I still didn't really know what I was going to do when I got there, so I just got in the water and got started. At some point I started to consider the consequences of not completing it, and I tried to make a mental commitment to tough it out. I was pretty sure that I would start to question myself again if i didn't hang in there. So needless to say I managed the 3860 metres, and to top it off I was quite happoy with my time of 1:11:37. The most gratifying part however is that I won the mental battle with myself. I find that much tougher to do in the water than on the bike or running, simply because it is so technical and if you don't focus it just gets harder and harder. it was still very hard today but I did it!!

One of the special challenges I now have swimming is trying to keep from constantly gagging, and/or swallowing water. Because my throat muscles have lost so much flexibility, the water tends to simply run down my throat. That in itself isn't so bad but I have noticed that because of that uncomfortable sensation, I tend to get sloppy in my breathing. I find myself not expelling my air well enough, which is of course the active and most critical part of breathing while swimming. Actually I think it's a good thing that I noticed this the last few days, as now I can focus on it. I actually believe it has been part of the reason for my struggles in the pool.

I say that swallowing water is probably not a bad thing in itself, because believe it or not I lost more than 5 pounds in perspiraton today despite all the intake. Of course you always sweat while swimming in relatively warm water but I'm sure that the wetsuit is the biggest cause of this.

So overall I have had great success this past week and my confidence level is high. On friday I did my long ride followed by a run, on sunday I ran 30 kms, and then today did the distance in the pool. To be able to string these workouts together is very encouraging. I will try to keep working hard through this coming weekend and then take 4 days off next week while travelling.

I will also get a short run in this afternoon and then look forward to travelling to Guelph this evening with Peter and Claudette to listen to a presentation by this guy, http://www.drgabormate.com/ author of, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts. (thanks Elly)

Man, I feel good about my swim!! Try not!!

I wish to dedicate day 209 to Anthony Robbins, one of my teachers though he knows it not.

“Sometimes a breakdown can be the beginning of a kind of breakthrough, a way of living in advance through a trauma that prepares you for a future of radical transformation.”---Cherrie Moraga

"The great breakthroughs in our lives generally happen only as a result of the accumulation of small steps and minor achievements."---Gregg Levoy

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs.”---Anthony Robbins

love
peter

"Shit Happens"

I went to the pool today with my wetsuit and a pretty good attitude. I was determined to get a good steady swim in, in the hope that it would boost my confidence. I was worried about being tired and so I started off with a commtiment to ignore the clock and focus strictly on relaxing, while still trying to monitor my body position and my mechanics. Sure enough it seemed to work not too badly at the atart. I got into a decent rhythm and my occassional glance at the clock told me I was actually picking up a bit of speed as my swim progressed. By the time I was closing in on 30 laps(1500 metres)I knew I had a good chance to do the the entire Ironman distance(3860 metres)....

.....and that's when the "shit hit the fan"! Or more accurately the shit hit the pool! Yes indeed....someone made a doo-doo in the water and that was the end of that! Personally I couldn't have cared less as I know I've swam in worse crap before. Like at almost every triathlon I've ever done. But they seem to take that stuff seriously and so everyone out of the pool post haste. They were actually a little frustrated with me as they thought I was ignoring them, just because I couldn't hear their stupid whistle. They eventually had to tap me on the head when I got to the end of the lane. They told me it would be closed for at least an hour and so my swim ended at 1500 metres. Kind of frustrating but as they say. "shit happens". Besides, even though it was cut short i gained a great deal of positive feeling from the time I did get in. After 1500 metres I did not feel spent at all. I am considering doing it all over again tomorrow, but i will make that decision in the morning.

I also took a short bike ride this afternoon(30 kms),and that indeed proved that I am a little tired.... a good tired however.

I wish to dedicate day 208 to a great canadian, Marilyn Bell, who at 16 years of age swam 52 kms across Lake Ontario!! 52 kms!!!

“When you're up to your nose in shit, keep your mouth shut”---Anon

“Shit floats to the top”---Anon

"If it looks like shit, smells like shit, and feels like shit, you don`t have to actually eat it to know it`s shit."---Seth Eisenberg

love
peter

"Hi, Hi, Hi, Beautiful Sunday"

"This is my,my, my beautiful day"....Daniel boone.(the band, not the man)

It was a great day overall. My run was one of the most peaceful I have had and I almost dare to say "easy". It's very encouraging to feel that way just 2 days after a tough,long, bike/run workout. I ran 30 kms in 2 hours 42 minutes, and I mean it was easy!! I was over 2 hours before my heart rate went over 140. My little spark of 2 days ago blossomed into a small flame today. I also did my weight training within an hour of returning from my run. That was a bit tougher but again I think it is really helping me. I still don't have an answer to my pool struggles but I will find it.

As to spending Easter Sunday out on the roads instead of in church, that's not actually the case. My wife and I have declared that we belong to the "Church of the Great Outdoors". As of now I think we are the only members but please feel free to join us. There are no regular services, and no charges, fees, or tithes. We don't even have a collection plate. Oh and you can listen to your i-pod, wear whatever the hell you like, and sing any song that suits your fancy.

I wish to dedicate day 207 to my high school history teacher, Charles(Chuckie) Peppler, who once gave me a pair of hand me down track shoes in which I ran my one and only 5 minute mile. He also let me listen to the 72 Canada/Russia hockey games during history class!

"If God hadn't rested on Sunday, He would have had time to finish the world."---Gabriel Garcia Marquez

love
peter

"So Elusive"

Like trying to catch smoke! That feeling of peace that I crave. Sometimes I think it's just about in my grasp. It's not a tangible thing but rather a feeling that I almost have the secret. That if I would just reach out and take it, it would be mine to keep. And then, before I can quite identify what it looks like it drifts away, unitl it seems again like it was never there. And when it's gone I can hardly believe that I could really have been so optimistic. I feel like a Leafs fan!

I wonder whether if it's from lack of effort? Maybe I'm afraid of it what it will take? Maybe subconsciously I know that I will have to give something up in return? I know that doesn't make any sense because what would it matter if in the end I achieved what I wanted. Who knows? I'll have to think about that one but something tells me that there's a clue in there

I went to the pool this afternoon only to find it closed for a swim meet and so I went to the grocery store instead. I can't believe how much I eat now, even waking up hungry in the morning. I especially enjoy my almost nightly ice cream bar!!
I Went back to the pool at 5 pm and messed around for a while but nothing serious. I am still tired from yesterday.

I wish to dedicate day 206 to my old high school principal Charles Hyde. He was once an integral part of me findng a feeling of peace....the day I told him to fuck off!

“Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.”---Doris Mortman

“I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then whenever doubt, anxiety, or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal and soon they'll forget my number.”---Edith Armstrong

love
peter

"TGIF"

It was quite a "Good Friday". I felt a little spark of excitement today as a result of my workout. Here's how it went.

I headed out on my bike around 11:30 with an air temperature of about 7 degrees and a wind of just under 20 km/hr. Not ideal, but not bad either. I headed out into the wind as usual, and 15 kms in I was still debating how far I would go. I actually took a route I had never gone before as we had an unusal NE wind, and at one point I wasn't even sure exactly where I was. Fortunaetly I have a pretty good sense of direction and I got my bearings back. In the end I rode 83.5 kms in just under 3 hours, which I was happy with.

Part 2 of my workout was a run immediatley after my bike. I had worn my running clothes under my cycling stuff and so all I had to do was strip some stuff off, and change my shoes. I was back out on the road within 5 minutes. If you have never had the exprience of trying to run after spending an extended period of time on your bike it's hard to explain what it feels like. For some time your leg muscles simply do not fire correctly. So today I decided to try something different. A couple of minutes into my intended distance I took a one minute walking break. Then I went about 3 minutes and took another one minute break. I continued this pattern, increasing my run portion every time until I was prettty well running continuously. In the end I did the block with a total of 5 mins walking. The really strange thing is that I still did it in 39 minutes which is a normal time for me for a long run. That's when the little spark of excitement came. Near the end I realized that I felt almost normal and I could have kept running....I was real tempted.

I feel good! It was a "good Friday"!

Here's proof that I still had energy left. After I had something to eat I went to the garage and whipped these up....well actually only the larger one. I made the other one yesterday. I was actually assigned the task by Claudette but I did it willingly.

I wish to dedicate day 205 to Steve Fletcher, the guy who first got me into triathlon many years ago.

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."---Robin Williams

"From a little spark may burst a flame."---Dante Alighieri

love

peter

"No Inspiration"

I got nothing today. This stupid hockey game is stressing me out too much....burning up my energy.

I hope everyone had a wonderful thursday!

I wish to dedicate day 204 to the memory of Rocket Richard...we could use him now!

”If you've only got one day to live, come see the Toronto Maple Leafs. It'll seem like forever."---Anon

love
peter

"Forever Young"

I have decided to live forever! So far so good!

Well maybe not forever but for a while at least. And I think I can take some pride in the fact that those things within my control as relates to my health are generally "in control". I didn't have what I would call a great training day today and yet when I reflect back on it, I swam a kilometer, rode my bike for 45 kilometers, and then did a total body resistance workout. While maybe in the realm of Ironmen it wasn't that spectacular, it's actually not that bad for an old guy who almost met his maker not that long ago. While I'm trying hard to keep my intensity and passion up, I am also trying to keep it all in perspective. If the very worst result of this whole initiative is that I end up a very fit 53 year old then I suppose that's ok. I know this. There are very few grampas out there who can out-play their grandchildern like I can, and I have not reached my potential yet....both as an older athlete, and as a younger grampa. Besides I have to keep up with the Kyles now you know, and they're in pretty good shape.

I wish to dedicate day 203 to Rod Stewart...."Forever Young"

....and much to my surprise Dylan had a very similar song...

“May you grow up to be righteous, may you grow up to be true. May you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you. May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong. May you stay forever young."---Bob Dylan

“You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair"---Anon

"The idea is to die young as late as possible."---Ashley Montagu

love
peter

"Duh!"

I got all packed up and went down town to ride the trainer. Got changed, got my bike setup on the rig, got my music ready, and went to put my shoes on. This is what I found in my bag! Duh!

So I said screw it, and went to Canadian Tire and bought some parts for my forward view mirror.

I'll let you see the finished product. I think maybe it's gonna work

Then I went to the pool for the second time today. This morning I swam about 2000 metres and this afternoon I went to watch her highness perform!

God that little girl makes me weak!

And duh....I almost forgot. I got a little run in tonite to try to make up for my missed ride. It wasn't very long but in the middle of it I did a 2.5 km tempo in 10 minutes!! That makes me feel fit!

I wish to dedicate day 202 to Leonard Cohen, a great Canadian whos music Kylie and I like to dance to.....aey, aey, aey, aey, ...take this waltz, take this waltz

"She wasn't born a princess, but if the crown fits..."---Anon

“That's so duh."---Madonna

love

peter

"Enough Already!"

Right now it's minus 2, snowing with a 30km/hr wind! It feels like January out there.

My intended long swim was crappy today. I don't know if it's physical or psychological. It's tough to stay motivated, but I'm going to try to hold on to the idea that if I do the best I can, then there will be some kind of positive outcome to this whole thing.

I wish to dedicate day 201 to the memory of my cousin Robert van Gerven.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."---Brian Littrell

love
peter

"It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time"

And I still love them all dearly but sometimes, just sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I didn't have any kids. For some people the task of parenting seems to get easier over time, but not for me. When they were little, they had little hurts. Hurts that could be fixed with a hug or a bandaid. And the very act of providing them comfort would be comforting for me as well. Now that they are adults they have much bigger hurts and I feel powerless to help them. I still willingly give the hugs, even the bandaids if necessary, but that just doesn't cut it for their big hurts. So I try to impart some wisdom as well but I'm afraid that their challenges may outweigh my wisdom. I guess all I can do is keep loving them as hard as I can and hope I get some help from upstairs.

Meanwhile I can spend some of my energies on the next generation enjoying things like this. Which of course wouldn't be possible if I didn't have kids in the first place.



Along with this bike effort I also ran 22 kms today. A short, long run which was a little tougher than I expected. It took me 2 hours.

I wish to dedicate day 200 (holy cow!) to Nurse Lisbet from the clinic who gave me hugs, bandaids and often a bed to lie on when I was hurting.

"Do your kids a favor - don't have any."---Robert Orben

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children."---Clarence Darrow

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it"---Harry Truman

love
peter

"Honesty's the Best Policy"

I think? That policy cost me 10 bucks today!
Here's the story. The kid at the Arbys drive-through told me my food was 13 dollars and change. I gave him 20 bucks and he gave me 16 dollars and change back. I knew right away that he was handing me an extra 10 and yet I took the money and put it in my wallet. I wrestled with my decision while he was getting my food and ended up changing my mind. I couldn't help but worry that the kid would have to put up the 10 bucks, or worse that he would be accused of stealing it. As I gave him his monay back and told him of his mistake I asked him what would happen if his till was out at the end of his shift. He had no idea, and he didn't seem too concerned. Rather he seemed pleasantly surprised that I was fessing up and that was that.
The funny, and perhaps worrisome thing is that once I realized that it probably wouldn't cause him any grief I had a momentary regret about my honesty. After all, Arbys can afford it eh?
But isn't honesty supposed to feel good just for the sake of it? Isn't it?

As I've thought about this through the day I am convinced that my instinctive reaction to keep the money should be telling me something. Not so much that I'm not honest in my dealings with others because I think my mother taught me better than that, but am I honest with myself? I think not always. So why? I think maybe it takes practice. If a person spends enough time rationalizing their situation or their lot in life, or trying to avoid pain associated with the realities of life by denying them, I think it can become a habit. A hard one to break.

I wish to dedicate day 199 to Mahatmi Gandhi who was so honest it eventually killed him!

"Honesty is as rare as a man without self-pity."---Stephen Vincent Benet

“Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people."---Kin Hubbard

love
peter

"Fair Trade Bananas"

You can buy bananas at the grocery store for .79/lb or you can buy "fair trade" bananas for .89/lb. The more expensive ones claim that they support fair wages and fair prices in developing countries. I suppose that means that Loblaws does not pay fair prices for the rest of their bananas eh? Besides, how can I possibly believe this stuff? By the way, the expensive bananas are packaged in sealed plastic bags because they need a way to distinguish them. Who pays for that I wonder? The farmer in Costa Rica? I'm sorry, I know I'm a cynic but I just can't buy what they're selling. I would be very suspicious that the extra 10 cents goes to pay whatever bribes need to be paid to get their product the fair trade certification, and that the farmer in Costa Rica gets absolutely nothing more than he ever gets. I would bet on it! I bought the cheaper bananas.

AnywayI guess the real question that the banana situation begs is what is "fair"? Who decides? I can easily justify how life has been unfair to me....at least if I don't think about the man I SAW with the bag attached to his belly. I wonder what he considers fair? Or the parent who has lost a child, or the person who has lost a limb, or the terminally ill, or the drug addict, or the orphan, or the victim of war, or the unjustly imprisoned, or my mother for that matter? What is fair?

Slow training day today. I finally ran out of steam at the pool and so spent maybe 15 minutes getting wet. I will not swim again until monday. Then I ran the block late this afternoon in what was perhaps the strongest wind I have ever battled. Much to my surprise my legs were still a little sore from Sunday. I must be getting old!

I wish to dedicate day 198 to the memory of my Uncle John Rooyakkers because he had the same quiet demeanour as my Dad, and was almost as good a farmer.

“Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."---Oscar Wilde

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."---Groucho Marx

love
peter

"A Moments Pause...."

I found myself in the middle of one of these today while at the pool. It took me a second to realize that I was standing naked in the middle of the change room staring at nothing. I don't even know what I was thinking but I know what had set it off about a minute previous. When I came in from the pool I seen a guy with a strange looking belt around his waist. As I was wondering what it was, he turned around and I realized that it had a plastic bag attached to it, a bag which was of course attached to his body. For some reason it really hit me. Talk about literally putting your insides on your outsides. I remember reading a quote the other day that basically said, "why do we lament all the crap that comes our way, but are not grateful for the crap that doesn't?" What a graphic reminder this scene was for me. My brain quickly processed some gratitude that I haven't been saddled with what he had, as it would be pretty hard to do an Ironman with that kind of complication, never mind the day to day grief of it. I know that if I had something like this to deal with I probably wouldn't handle it very well. And yet the very first words out of this guys mouth when he seen me was, "it's a beautiful day out there today eh?"

It gave me a moments pause....

I had another special moment this morning with my better half when we first woke up. I don't know if I looked like I needed it or what but she said and I quote. "I think I love you more now than I ever have." Because this puzzled me I said "I wonder why?" Her response, "I don't know!" It was a nice moment for me because the obvious honesty of her second comment somehow validated the first.

I also had a decent training day. I swam for the fourth consecutive day (2000 metres) continuing to focus on technique, especially my body position and stroke. I think I am making slow but steady progress. Next week I will probably try a session with my wetsuit again just to see how it feels. I aslo had a very satisfactory bike ride. I could tell that I haven't run since monday as my legs felt pretty fresh. I did 80 kms in 2 hours 37 minutes with a steady 20 km/hr wind. The warmer weather makes riding so much more enjoyable. Did it really snow this past monday?

I wish to dedicate day 197 to the nameless man at the pool who thought it was a beautiful day!

"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed."---Albert Einstein

“Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy."---Guillaume Apollinaire

love
peter

"More on All Fogged Up"

I spent a little more time on my fogged up goggle analogy while in the pool this morning so here goes. I have been taught that I am supposed to expend my energies on the things in life that I have full control over, instead of those things upon which I have little or no control. I have some control over fogged up goggles in that I can have somebody spit in them or borrow Teresas antifog stuff. I have almost no control over my eyes actually fogging up which is a common enough event while wearing goggles for an extended period of time. What I have total control over is my attitude in response to fogged up goggles or eyeballs. Or kind of at least, I think, maybe? Oh...that sounded like a bad attitude eh? I'll work on it.

I had a great discussion with Penticton Paul last evening which really settled some of my stress. Penticton Paul used to be Kelowna Paul(because he lives there) but I changed it to Penticton because it sounds better, and since he's done the race 5 times I think it works. Anyway Paul assured me that I still have plenty of time based on my current level 0f training and fitness, and in actual fact he convinced me to back off a little for a week or two to work on my "attitude".

Towards that end I swam only again today and I had a decent workout. I put in a total of 2000 meters and had better feelings of control and speed. With some advice from Paul I will continue to focus on my technique.

A few randon points.
1) Teresa, where do you get this antifog stuff or can you send me some, and how's your new job?
2) Cory, welcome back even though I'm not sure it's you based on the brevity of your comments.
3) Peter, good advice on how to tell people stuff. If you get a letter from me you will know why!
4) Cory, I'm the only one who ever knows what Peter is talking about
5) Bernie, I have shoes you can borrow!
6) Miguette, I like the way you think. If we're not back from Penticton by Christmas you can move into the main house

I wish to dedicate day 196 to my Uncle Joe Rooyakkers, just because he's a shorter version of my dad with the same quiet demeanour.

so on fears.....

"But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness"---Desiderata

and this one expresses the attitude idea much better than I can...

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."---Hugh Downs

and this one because I need to learn it and remember it...

"I don't like that man. I must get to know him better."---Abraham Lincoln

love
peter