"Honesty's the Best Policy"

I think? That policy cost me 10 bucks today!
Here's the story. The kid at the Arbys drive-through told me my food was 13 dollars and change. I gave him 20 bucks and he gave me 16 dollars and change back. I knew right away that he was handing me an extra 10 and yet I took the money and put it in my wallet. I wrestled with my decision while he was getting my food and ended up changing my mind. I couldn't help but worry that the kid would have to put up the 10 bucks, or worse that he would be accused of stealing it. As I gave him his monay back and told him of his mistake I asked him what would happen if his till was out at the end of his shift. He had no idea, and he didn't seem too concerned. Rather he seemed pleasantly surprised that I was fessing up and that was that.
The funny, and perhaps worrisome thing is that once I realized that it probably wouldn't cause him any grief I had a momentary regret about my honesty. After all, Arbys can afford it eh?
But isn't honesty supposed to feel good just for the sake of it? Isn't it?

As I've thought about this through the day I am convinced that my instinctive reaction to keep the money should be telling me something. Not so much that I'm not honest in my dealings with others because I think my mother taught me better than that, but am I honest with myself? I think not always. So why? I think maybe it takes practice. If a person spends enough time rationalizing their situation or their lot in life, or trying to avoid pain associated with the realities of life by denying them, I think it can become a habit. A hard one to break.

I wish to dedicate day 199 to Mahatmi Gandhi who was so honest it eventually killed him!

"Honesty is as rare as a man without self-pity."---Stephen Vincent Benet

“Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people."---Kin Hubbard

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peter