"Blood is Thicker Than Water"

Or is it? Lets discuss it. Or rather than discuss it I'll talk and you listen!

But first a few important points of celebration.

Number one please know that today is the 23rd anniversary of my sons birthday. Happy Birthday Michael! He is celebrating it by
1) getting braces put on his teeth
2) going to training for a part time research job he just got.
3) going to classes.

......“That’s my boy!” .....

The second anniversary is one that somehow got by me this past day of January 13th. I can’t quite believe it myself but I have worked for Magna International for 25 years! That’s quite an accomplishment for a guy who prior that couldn’t seem to hold on to a job. So happy anniversary to me! For havinf survived for so long you get to choose a service award gift including several jewelry options. I chose the high tech espresso maker. Not because I like espresso but because I like high tech machines and because it will look impressive in our kitchen. Besides, it also makes hot water!

So blood is thicker than water eh? What does the expression mean to you? For me it always meant that circumstances of birth would generally over ride circumstances of fate when it came down to decisions. In other words you would protect or take the side of, sibling/parent/child over that of a friend/lover/co-worker etc. Secondly I think it implies that decision making would have us favor the happiness or health of a relative over a material gain for ourselves.
While I suppose it could be arguable I generally don’t buy into the validity of the expression. There are a million reasons driving the decisions that we make in relation to those other humans around us. I think first and foremost is our natural human desire and/or need to give and receive affection. I think it’s a powerful factor in our relationships with children especially. Children automatically give and receive physical affection to those around them, and as such very strong bonds can be built during these times, regardless of whether the adult and the child share genetic material. I suppose today’s modern world of the flexible family could potentially provide a case for or against the validity of that argument. If indeed some step parents favor their own flesh and blood over the step children is this due to the ‘blood thicker than water’ rationale or is it due to the fact that they have generally spent more intimate time with those they parented biologically. I’m pretty sure that it’s the later. To support that I would suggest to you that children who were adopted as infants have a much closer connection to their adoptive parents than do those that were adopted later in their lives even though in both cases there is no biological connection. As to those adopted adults who set out to find their birth parents I know of some success stories and yet I would be willing to bet that in most cases once they met it did not change their relationship with their adoptive parents, assuming that it was a loving relationship.

The second conjecture that I made as to the meaning of the expression was that blood would win out over water, with water being a metaphor for material things. While I know many people who indeed live their lives this way especially in relation to parents and siblings I also know many who would see their relatives into the poor house before they would give up a penny to prevent it. Or of course everyone has heard horror stories of the kids fighting over the inheritance. I know this is not the case in my own family but again I suggest to you that this is a result of what we were taught and how we were mentored more than the fact that we share our parents genetic material. If I have not always been as considerate in this regard as many of my siblings I would only give you another metaphor….the one about getting blood from a stone. After all my big sisters told me for years that I was “dumb as a rock!”

So what am I saying? I believe that similar to the nature or nurture argument, our preferences, our nature, our style, our loves and thereby our allegiances are primarily a result of our experiences and our situation rather than the circumstances of our birth.

The obvious coup de grace for my argument lies in the relationship between the lady I sleep with every night (well many nights anyway) and our grandchildren. I say with utter conviction that beyond their parents themselves there are no 2 children who are loved more by any one person than they are by Claudette, and vice versa. And this remarkable relationship is totally a product of her investment in them from the day they were born. I guess you could say that “love is thicker than water”. Another thought just occurred to me , and I give it as final and unarguable testimony in support of my hypothesis, and that realization is this. I know those kids love me (their biological grandfather) very much but in almost every circumstance where they are given a choice as to who to spend their time with they will choose Claudette over me. Rather than be jealous of that it makes me happy. Why? Because that is justice!

And totally off topic.....just occasionally there can be a pleasant element to flying. This is somewhere over lake Michigan. My phone picture doesn't really do it justice but it was pretty cool.



"The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness."---Nancy Mitford

"There's an awful lot of blood around that water is thicker than."---Mignon McLaughlin

love
peter