"The Purpose?"

What’s your purpose in life?

I’m not sure what mine is right now!

I hesitated before starting such a potentially negative, and certainly momentous discussion for a couple of reasons, and yet here I am, bringing the topic up.

First the reasons for my hesitation.

Probably foremost because it has the potential to worry those who care about me. So many people have made an investment in my well being over the last year that I don’t want to repay them by continuing to need care.

Secondly because I believe that it is possible for negative feelings to become a self fulfilling kind of thing, if you dwell on them too much.

And thirdly, and maybe this shouldn’t be last but rather first, part of my hesitation is driven by self preservation. The long developed habit of not letting my insides on my outside, for fear of being seen as weak.

So why then do I venture into this minefield? A dangerous topic which could perhaps lead not just to more personal discouragement, but one with the potential to influence others in a negative way?

Well I choose to do so because over the last few days I have tried to do some soul searching and haven’t come up with answers. Intellectually I am so grateful for everything I have in my life and yet once again I find myself waking up in the morning in a very discouraged frame of mind. While I can certainly find some particular stressors in my life, the biggest current one being a combination of Jon, and the fast approaching Xmas season, I simply can’t accept that the weight of these should be heavy enough to offset things like the incredible, almost unheard of gift of having my grandchildren living next door to me. Especially since this is only one of the very many, very good things currently in my life.

Something that Peter wrote the other day triggered this thought process as well I think. He had talked about his school assignment in which he was supposed to declare what he wanted to be when he grew up. On stating his intentions to be “happy” it was suggested that he didn’t understand the assignment. While I think the teacher was absolutely correct in his/her statement (either Peter didn’t understand what they wanted of him, or more likely knowing my son he was just being obtuse), It also occurred to me that Peter’s response was even more valid. The assignment did not take an understanding of life into consideration. The understanding that it’s not good enough just to “be” something.

So these 2 things got me puzzling over what the hell’s wrong and why, and from there somehow I came to these thoughts on life’s purpose. Strangely it comes to me while sitting on an airplane again! I wonder if that means something?

While I accept the premise that our primary responsibility should indeed be to find fulfillment and happiness, it also seems to me that there needs to be some further breakdown of what this means. There needs to be something more practical and tangible that becomes our raison d’être. In business we are always reminded that any undertaking needs a clearly defined purpose, in order to set direction, give meaning to our efforts, and give us something to measure our progress against….otherwise you’re just working! Me thinks the same rule should apply to life eh?

For as long as I can remember I think my purpose in life was to achieve financial security, and to raise my children. It occurs to me that maybe the reason I’m looking to find answers at this time is that those “purposes” are coming to a close. While the children are still uppermost in my mind and in my heart, I know that for the most part that chapter is nearing completion. And I have also concluded that the search for financial security is never over until you let it be so….so probably I need to let it be so. It’s not a very noble purpose anyway.

So what’s my purpose? I know it’s not to do an ironman, and I know it’s not to build a fence, even though the completion of these things remain important to me. I guess I have some more soul searching to do eh. Anyone want to help? Maybe tell me your purpose if you know what it is???

In closing, please forgive me for being so serious. But please respect that my thoughts come from my heart, and as such leave me feeling a little vulnerable.

Quickly on training today. I did the computrainer thing and much to my surprise I think I want to do it again. I have always hated riding inside but somehow the feedback that the monitor gives you, plus the variety you can build into your workout makes it a whole lot less annoying.

On another note, if you get the Kitchener CTV news don’t forget to watch tomorrow night(Tuesday)) at 6 pm for the first installment of Janine Grespans head and neck cancer segment. I won’t be watching as they don’t get that channel is San Luis Potosi.

I wish to dedicate day 68 to Claudette’s niece Desiree, who I would use as a prototype if I had my own teenage daughter.

Interestingly enough today’s topic netted an incredible amount of hits when doing my quote search. I guess lots of other people ask themselves the same question. Here are a few that I really liked. Maybe one of them will call to you.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy”.---George Bernard Shaw

“Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.”---Helen Keller

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”---Robert Byrne

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.” ---Victor Frankl

….and the one that didn’t just call to me, but yelled rather loudly…

“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.”--- James Thurber
Love
peter