"I Figured it Out!"

Like many others I have spent most of my adult life searching for answers to questions about life. Today I realized that the answers have been right in front of me ever since the invention of the television. I think it's taken me so long to figure it out primarily becasue I am not very susceptible to the power of suggestion. You know how it's supposed to work? The beer commercial where all the girls are beautiful and barely dressed, implies that if you drink their beer all these girls will come to your house. Or the fast food commercial that displays only fit and healthy people. Or best of af all, the "Viagra" type commercials that actually suggest she's gonna start liking you again if you can only get it up!
Well like I said I just didn't fall for all this stuff and so they now created a commercial especially for thick people like me....something not so subtle. It took a moment for it to sink in when I first seen it and then I just shook me head in wonderement. There is nothing subtle in a commercial that simultaneously posts on the screen and announces the words....

"Change your TV, Change your Life!!!"

For many years most of the change in my life has been change that I have initiated. Then with the shock I got last year change wassuddenly foisted upon me, and I didn't deal with it that well. While certainly I think that's understandable to some degree, I now need to take change back into my own hands. Several things are bringing me to this realization and they are probably connected, or at least in the sense that they are all coming together at the same time. One is the fact that I am now 53 years old and approaching the time in my life that I need to at least think about what the next stage of my life will be like. Somewhere I have read the idea that life could be divided into 3 parts defined as:
1)learning,
2)earning and
3)serving and/or playing
I always thought that part 3 would play out that way for me when I was ready, and I planned on being ready by the time I was 55, maybe 56. But now other elements come along to make me feel a little out of control, and "out of control" is not a state I cope with well. I think it's to be expected to some degree as these things are significant. One of course is the economic situation in North America which changes the whole early retirmenent scenario as planned. This in itself is not such a big deal if it weren't for the fact that the industry I work in, is coming to an unheard of and unpredicted screeching, screaming, halt! That leaves me at a bit of a crossroads as I ponder my future. I have been spoiled for some years, working for a great employer with tremendous freedom and gratifying work, but I have to accept that that way of life is going to change. Simply because the same options do not exist....for me or anyone else.

So that's where I am in my head right now...feeling unsettled. I know however that this will pass once I start reclaiming my control over change in my life....once I start initiating the changes again. Sadly I know that buying a new TV is not going to do it for me. If you knew how may TV's we already have you would understand how I know that that approach is futile, and so I will need to think of other ideas. I think I will figure it out but if anyone has any brain waves I would of course love to hear them.

One thing that I will not change is my commitment to this Ironman thing. Even though there are times I feel a little selfish about the whole thing I'm going to keep telling myself that I deserve it. The only thing that could perhaps make it tough would be another health issue, but if there's a god in heaven, I think our family has had enough of that shit don't you?

So enough philosophising for today. As promised I swam only today and was quite satisfied with the results. I did 2500 metres in 58 minutes. Actually I am a little unsure about the lap count as I may have been 50 metres short. It doesn't really matter however as either way my pace was a little faster than the last 2000 metres I did, and more importantly I got faster as the swim went on. That's strictly a function of getting smoother and more comfortable in the water. I think that soon I will be able to maintain that pace for 3800 metres. And of course there is still wetsuit magic to add onto that, and maybe over Xmas I will do the whole thing with the neoprene cheater. Of course I will be forced to use that shitty 15 year old suit I have hanging in the closet! Did anyone hear anything about a wetsuit at our marriage vow renewal last year....I think I vaguely recall something???

As to maybe losing count of the laps I can tell you how that happens. It's about how the body instinctively directs blood to thst part of your body that calls for it and quite frankly when swimming or participating in other endurance activities the brain is not considered a priority. I remember a personal story that defines this inability to think when you're fatigued. I was running the Toronto marathon and at about 35k I bonked and started walking. At some point this blonde lady passed me and I decided I would try to get running again and just stay with her as long as I could. It kinda worked even to the point that I was starting to think she was quite good looking from behind and as such used this chauvinistric attitude to keep plugging along. At some point I got my second wind and actually passed her. Of course I was grateful for the support and so made sure that I gave a few words of eocouragement as I moved by. I barely got an acknowledgement however as 'he" was too exhausted to do so!

For old John....give me a hard one. That quote has dad written all over it!

I wish to dedicate day 81 to my neice Cory who is special because she's a little bit her mother and a little bit like her namesake.

...on television...

"Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."---Gallagher

"So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free". ---Jason Love

...and on change...

"Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted."---Anon

"Be the change you want to see in the world."---Gandhi

love
peter