"Stressed!

I can't imagine how some people do it. Train for an Ironman while holding down a full time job, and at the same time attend to family obligations. I am fortunate enough to have the time necessary, and an incredible support group, and yet I am finding training nothing but stress right now. If I could figure out a graceful way out and still live with myself I would pack it in right now. Unfortunately the "living with my self" part is the killer. I will go an, at least for now.

The trouble is that life in general just seems to have too many challenges at the moment. It seems that every blessing in my life comes with some kind of associated pain or doubt. I live in a constant state of anxiety, over work, childern, money, training, etc.

Yah, yah I know...moaning and whining won't get me anywhere. But somehow it helps a little. Besides it forces me to look up appropriate supporting quotes and often I find stuff that makes some sense out out of it, and sometimes even helps

Somehow, somewhere, someday there needs to be an answer!! Some time before I'm dead I want to be able to sit peacefully and contentedly, to enjoy both a relaxed body and a relaxed mind. I suppose they probably go hand in hand eh? I will keep searching.

I had a good swim this morning, probabaly 2000 metres total, and then 50kms on the trainer this afternoon. Peter made me do my weights tonite as well and so overall it was a good training day. I thought long and hard about trying to talk Peter out of it for today, but in the end I never said anything.....because I knew it would be futile. Maybe I'm biased, but I think he is very, very good at what he does. I am grateful to have him so close.

I wish to dedicate day 183 to Roo's old running partner Dr Connie Robinson, who listened to my whole cancer sob story in the grocery store this aft.

“Stress is basically a disconnection from the earth, a forgetting of the breath. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important. Just lie down."---Natalie Goldberg

“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds."---Dan Millman

"If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality."---Dan Millman

love
peter