"Assault (Spousal)"

It was an up and down kind of day.

First UP when I managed to get up at a reasonable time.

Then Down when I arrived here.


I go into that hospital often enough and yet when I enter through these doors I still get the creeps. When you first go in, there are always people sitting there who are clearly there for the first time. You can tell who they are by the way they are pouring over the forms with the loved ones hanging over their shoulders. I get scared for them!

Then UP when Dr Hammond told me that every thing looked good. I knew that of course, and further to that I'm pretty sure that I'll know if something's wrong before they do. I was proud of myself today when the nurse asked me the usual moronic questions about how I felt. Proud because I didn't blurt out that Ironmen don't have those petty little problems she was quizzing me about!

Then DOWN when I found out that the Computrainer store I was going to visit didn't open til 10.

Then UP when I spent a glorious 2 hours at Tim Hortons chatting with my good friend Richard, who is wrestling with many of the same "midlife" challenges that I am.

Then DOWN when I went to the police station to pick up my records check for my volunteer work and found out that in March of 2000 I had assaulted my wife. I can't belive how much it stressed me to see this obvious mistake, but probably it was because of the attitude of Constable A. Hole who could not have cared less. He denied that there could be any kind of problem and that if I had an issue I needed to call the London detachment and explain my problems to them. There was nothing he could do to change the reality. Obviously I had had some kind of contact with police he said, with a smirk on his stupid face. If the jerk knew either me or my wife he would know I would never touch her, simply because I'm afraid of her. I'm not sure I could take her! But who were the people at the old age home supposed to believe when I brought them this form from the police that said Spousal Assault, and explained to them that "no really...it's some kind of mistake? I promise not to hit the old people!"

The UP when I spoke to a fabulous lady at the London detachment who looked me up on CPIC right then and there, and within 5 minutes had figured out how the Elgin OPP and officer A. Hole had screwed up. She also called them immediately and by the time I got back to the station the dickhead had a new corrected form printed out and signed. No apology forthcoming.

Then after that I went for a 10 km run and kind of decided to stay UP for the rest of the day. There's nothing like a little insurance though so first I went to London and ordered my computrainer, and then I called my grandchildren to come over for the night!

"I believe that approximately 25% of people who join a police force were assholes before they got there, and that another 25% became assholes from the pressures of being a cop after they got there. This puts the good cop/bad cop ratio at 50/50 and personal experience bears that out for me."---Peter Rooyakkers

“Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."---Tommy Cooper

"A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."---Dennis Miller

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