I struggle with the battle between accepting things as they are, and having the guts to change them. In the old serenity prayer I suppose it would be the "wisdom to know the difference" part. As relates to this saliva thing I think I'm finally close to coming to terms with it. Two nights ago I tried the CPAP thing with the full mask with little success. I lasted about 3 hours. Last night I hooked the high tech CPAP mask up to my high tech vaporizer, again with no success. Lots of moisture but within 15 minutes I was soaking wet and coughing from the vapour. This afternoon I set up the CPAP again, but this time with the goofy nose thing but that didn't work at all. Since you have to breathe out through your mouth it dried me out instantly. Tonite I will make one last attempt with the CPAP and the full mask but if I have no luck then so be it. A week from tomorrow I go for my last set of PRP shots but I don't give that much chance of success either.
So here's the problem that I need some serenity to accept. I never feel rested. Every morning I wake up feeling like I've been drinking the night before. Frequently I get sleepy during the day. Occasionally I wonder if I would be better off if I gave up most of the exercise stuff? But despite the fact that it takes it's own toll I suspect that the tradeoff would still be a poor one. It may seem a contradiction but I truly believe that because exercise keeps my veins open and my blood pressure and weight down that it actually has a positive effect on my fatigue levels.
So like I say I'm pretty close to accepting the fact that this situation is not going to change. I think? I need to start focusing more on how best to deal with it. Most importantly I need to accept it as a physical limitation and not let it affect me emotionally. I'm sure just accepting it will help. Wish me luck!
“Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.”---Paul Tournier
...but...
“Our accepting what we are must always inhibit our being what we ought to be.”---John Fowles
love
peter
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
you do not have to, nor should you, breathe out through your mouth with the nasal pillows. you should breath out through your nose and keep your mouth shut! ...maybe that's your difficulty!!
Dearest Peter - I believe the term idiot has never suited you better. Did it occur to you that having a breathing machine attached to your nose while you are breathing through your mouth might not make a lot of sense.??!! I have several comments to make -
1. the person you describe who wakes in your bed in the morning is a typical obstructive sleep apnea patient. You feel this way because your blood oxygen saturations fall too low through the night so your brain and muscles don't get enough.
2. Any new system that requires wearing weird things on your face at night will take a little getting used to, a little patience, a little persistence - If you can do three hours one night, you can do 4 the next and so on and so on.
3. you are using a machine that is set up specifically for another human being, based on HIS results from HIS sleep study - that's ok for fun but not ok to base a decision on whether or not you have OSA. Have you had a sleep study done?
If not, you need to, its not a big deal. They wire you up from your scalp to your toes, put a couple belts on you, and say "go to sleep". If they wake you in the night its because you are having so many desaturations they don't need to wait for a diagnosis and they will fit you with a mask and say "go back to sleep". Then you get up in the morning and go home.
This may all have very little to do with your saliva, and your ignoring other possibilities because you can't see the forest for the trees.
BE A MAN - GO TO THE DOCTOR AND GET A PROPER DIAGNOSIS - HAVE A SLEEP STUDY AND THAT WILL PROVE ONE WAY OR THE OTHER WHETHER OR NOT YOU NEED TO GET A PROPERLY SET UP FOR YOU CPAP THAT YOU WILL GET ACCUSTOMED TO WEARING AS SOON AS YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH BETTER YOU FEEL IN THE MORNING. DO NOT SUBJECT THAT POOR BRAIN OF YOURS TO ANY MORE PERIODS OF DEOXYGENATION THAN IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
All my love always
I love Cory.
Post a Comment