Can there be love?
I suppose that if you accept the concept that love is a decision, then it seems reasonable to also accept that you can love someone that you don't trust. I believe however that it is one of the biggest hurdles to a lasting relationship. There is great misery in loving someone who you are constantly suspicious of, and as such there is a constant pressure to make the ultimate decision....to stop loving.
If however you also believe in the concept of unconditional love then that would be an unacceptable solution and when it comes to your children I happen to believe that unconditional love is a moral obligation. After all you created them and while you may not have a permanent responsibility to care "for" them, I think that you do have a permanent responsibility to care "about" them.
There are of course lots of other reasons why relationships fall apart including those of parent/child but I believe that lack of trust is the big killer. Ask anyone who has lived with an addict and you will find that it is not the addiction itself that tears the love down, but it is the deceit that comes with it.
But amongst all the things I learned from my sister Mary probably the most important individual thing is that while it may not be mandatory to go on loving, it is still okay to do so. And so that is what I choose, despite the absence of trust.
It also occurs to me that while love may indeed be a decision, to trust is perhaps not so much so.
“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."---George MacDonald
Love all, trust a few."---William Shakespeare
love
peter
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
thank god for sending us Mary!! I agree with your thoughts Pete, and also know how difficult a challenge it is. Thanks for continuing to love...
In my personal experience...there's love, in some form or another. At least, there is an extreme hope for happiness and well being....maybe I confuse that with love. But really love is so different for everyone.
And, I have to add, that I very much respect and admire the choices of those who are stronger, and more full of faith than I. And I often wish I had some form of faith to put my confusion into perspective.
I have to agree that most times it's not the action that drives a relationship apart, but the deception.
Post a Comment