"Retarded!"

Retarded----"Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed; relatively slow in mental or emotional or physical development."

Yup, Yup, Yup! That's me all right! I am emphatically, undeniably, categorically, blessedly retarded. What a relief. It explains so much to me, even though it's probably not much of a surprise to anyone else. Has anyone ever noticed that words only develop negative connotations over time depending on how society uses them. Retarded is a prime example, which, when used in relation to the mental development of a human person was eventually adjusted to "mentally handicapped" and recently amended again to "mentally challenged". I can think of many others, particularly racial and religious slurs which more often than not started out innocently enough. I won't go into specifics because that's an area that is a little too risque even for me.

But I do believe that like most things in life, even the usage of words can come full circle, and as such I intend on starting a trend to bring 'retarded' back into vogue in a positive way. Of course when I say start the trend I only truly follow on the heels of son Peter, sister Cory, and of course George Carlin. Sick as it may seem the main reason I admire George is because in his irreverance to every sensitive topic under the sun, he in essence diffuses all the bullshit sensitivity....all the pussyfooting around to make sure no ones feelings are hurt. Actually sometimes I think that George is Peters real father as they share this abiltity to put it all into perspective, without mincing words. After all as George used to say, "It's all bullshit, its all fucking bullshit!

So how do I propose to bring momentum to my intentions to bring the word back. Well step one I have already taken in naming myself retarded. Step 2 would then naturally be to include my family in the category and so I state that I have 11 retarded siblings, 4 retarded children, 2 retarded grandchildern, 1 retarded daughter in law, and last but not least 1 very retarded wife! Of course most of you will recall that you also acknowledged yourselves as idiots, so from now on please consider your selves a bunch of retarded idiots. Actually don't just consider it, but rather shout it with pride. The only way to create the positive connotation is to get people to envy you for it. Pretty soon everyone will want to be a retarded idiot, and I will end up on Wikipedia as the founder of the movement. Woohoo!

Ok, enough of that. How about this. Do you think Cory's sense of humour is subtle enough that she spelled "rescind' wrong on purpose in yesterdays comment? I truly want to believe that she was purposely being sly, but I just can't help the sneaking suspicion that she's just retarded!

And John, despite the fact that I know english was his second language the more I hear about some of your dear departed fathers quotes, the more I think that maybe he was a little retarded too eh?

And Larry, from you those words go beyond motivational. Just the fact that you read my ramblings regularly is enough for me. To acknowledge my blog as your new bible however is truly a special comment. I do acknowledge that like the bible it is mostly full of bullshit, with the odd bit of wisdom thrown in....usually borrowed from somewhere else.

Thirty two kilometres today in the wind. That was nicely offset by the warmer weather though and it was quite a friendly little run. I was very tempted to go further but reason prevailed. It doesn't look real good for my outside ride tomorrow as without any sunshine today the pavement has stayed wet, and it looks like more of the same tomorrow but with colder temperatures. If it's a no go, I will simply have to go to the dreaded pool instead. I'm then out of town until thursday so I'll have a bit of a break.

I wish to dedicate day 143 to Jane Gainsforth, the really nice lady from Ironman canada who told me last year that I could roll my entry over to 2009!

hmmm.....

"Of all the idiots I`ve known in my life, none of them were retarded."---W Brown

love
peter

"Low Tide"

Sometimes writing this stuff makes me feel like the guy on the deserted island who's recording his daily activities and moods, just in case someone may someday read them. If I were that guy I would tell you that metaphorically speaking I am at low tide today. For some reason my motivation is at an all time low. It seems like I have to force everything. I'm not sure why, but I hope it's just a winter time rut. I swam 1000 metres this morning and felt like a rock, and then rode for 2 hours this afternoon. I hope the weather co-operates tomorrow so that I can get a good long run in, as that always seems to make me feel better. I also have this tentative plan to take a short ride outside on sunday, again depending on the weather.

That's all for now. Send me some motivation will ya?

I wish to dedicate day 142 to Roo's brother Rob, just a good guy!

“How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'."---Martin Luther

love
peter

"I Love my Blog"

And I'm proud of my efforts to maintain it. Today however I'm just too tired to make an effort. I got back from Brampton in time to get a short run in before dark and so I did the block and tried to re-enact my 2k accomplishment of the other day, but nothing doing. That's ok however as I'm just getting over this bug I have. Tomorrow I should be back to full speed with a morning swim planned, and then a longer bike ride in the afternoon.

I wish to dedicate day 141 to my friend Bob Tyssen who knows what the word 'friend' means.

“Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself."---Paul Bryant

love
peter

"Feelin Better!"

Of course it wasn't until Miguette mentioned it that it occurred to me why I was sick in the first place. Definitely that Kylie girl who was sick in the middle of the night just a few days ago, while sleeping over. Oh well, just another thing I will have to forgive her for since in all other regards she's perfect!!

My stomach is still a bit unsettled but I am much better than last night thank you very much. I rode for an hour this morning and spent maybe 45 minutes in the pool as well, both workouts at an easy pace. Tomorrow I have to go to Brampton and as such may just take the whole day off.

I wish to dedicate day 140 to Margaret Palmer of Scotland, sister of my friend John. Margaret recently started treatment for throat cancer and we know how much fun that is. Good Luck Margaret!

“I'm just glad to be feeling better. I really thought I'd be seeing Elvis soon."---Bob Dylan

love
peter

"Flashback!"

Laying in bed feeliing sick as a dog. I must have a touch of the flu but it's kind of freaky to lay here feeling cold, and hot, and nauseous.....just like a year ago! I know I'm a real baby but I hate it. I hope it passes quickly. I suppose it's inevitable that it happen sometime when you're living on the edge of fatique all the time. I know from past experience that I need to take it easy until it passes or else I will regret it big time.

The crazy thing is that even though I felt it coming on yesterday already, I still felt really strong this morning, and I had a great run. I only did the block but within that I did a 2k tempo run in exactly 8 minutes!!! I am very, very proud of that. We used to joke that when you crossed the threshold of the 4 minute km, that you had graduated from jogging to running. When I first managed to run a single kilometer some time early last summer it took me over 7 minutes! To keep it in perspective however, I have run more than 20 kms at that pace in my previous life. Oh well, I 'was' much younger then and I am still very gratified by my 2 kilometers.

Oh and I had to come back to my post to tell you that I just spent the last hour fixing my dedication day numbers which were all screwed up! Doesn't anyone care enough to keep an eye out? Idiots!! I hope it's right now. I ain't even sure, but I'm too sick to care any more.

I'm thinking special thoughts about my sister Teresa today as she and Brett make their final preparations for their Africa trip....and for other reasons as well?

I wish to dedicate day 139 to Dr Ernst, the chemo guy, who made me very, very sick, but made me well in the process.

“Only in America - do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front of the store"---Anon

“I don't jog, if I die I want to be sick"---Abe Lemons

....and this one's especially for Mary...

“One should not stand at the foot of a sick person's bed, because that place is reserved for the guardian angel"---Anon

love
peter

"Man!"

There's just too much frustration in my life. Like going to the grocery store tonite. It's just an exercise in futility. Going up and down the aisles looking for something new and edible that just may have appeared since last time I searched. I go past the chicken wings, past the pizza, past the sausages and the hamburgers, past the nachos and the chips, past the bread, and if they had any at the grocery store....past the beer. Frustrating!

....oh wait...maybe I should be grateful?

But then I get to the checkout line where this older couple spend about 2o minutes sorting out their money to pay for their adult diapers. Frustrating!

....oh wait....maybe I should be grateful?

Then because it was on my schedule I headed to the pool for a quick workout. I got completely changed and left the change room only to find the pool completely crowded with mentally handicapped individuals and their caregivers. No place to swim. Frustrating!

...oh wait....maybe I should be grateful

I had another successful training day even without the swim. I rode a 16 km, slightly down hill course. I did it 3 times in succession with each session a little harder than the previous one. I felt very good considering yesterday was long run day.

I wish to dedicate day 138 to my Tante (aunt) Ida, my Moms sister-in-law for whom she was always grateful

"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."---W.C. Fields

"To educate yourself for the feeling of gratitude means to take nothing for granted, but to always seek out and value the kind that will stand behind the action. Nothing that is done for you is a matter of course. Everything originates in a will for the good, which is directed at you. Train yourself never to put off the word or action for the expression of gratitude."---Albert Schweitzer

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get."---Frank A. Clark

love
peter

"The Glorious, Glorious Sun!"

If this is global warming I'm all for it! Of course I don't believe any of that crap anyway so I'll just put it down to a well deserved beautiful february 1st.

You may ask why I don't believe all the doomsayers. It's because I think it is the height of human arrogance to believe we have the kind of power scientists and politicians alike would have us believe. It's not that I don't think we should take good care of our planet, it's just that I don't believe we have the slightest clue as to how things really work, and we have little to no influence on it. When I hear a guy say that our planet is now warmer than it has been for a milliion years I just burst out laughing. Can you show me the Environment Canada records from that time frame??? I promise that no matter how bad we screw things up mother nature will prevail....a major earthquake, or a huge volcanic explosion somewhere and we'll soon be worryong about the polar ice caps comin to get us. Besides, somewhere between 5 million and 100 million years from now, (depending on who you ask), our sun will burn out anyway and that will be the sure end of global warming. Global warming my freakin ass! What arrogance I say!!

So turn down your thermostat a little, drive a little less and bike a little more, don't throw your garbage in the river, plant a few trees, love your neighbour as yourself and do an Ironman! All will be well with our little blue planet, third from the sun.....I promise!

I had a great run today due to the super weather. Just under 30 kms in 2 hours 45 minutes. This is not very fast but it was totally controlled and relaxed. My heart rate stayed under 130 for the first 2 hours. It's a super indicator that I continue to build my endurance. I could have gone further but I learned my lesson last time, and don't intend on getting hurt again. It was especially gratifying as yesterday I ran the block and did my 4 k swim and it didn't affect me at all today. To be able to string several days of tough workouts together will be a key as I move forward.

I wish to dedicate day 137 to My Tante (Aunt) Mien, just for being so much like my Mom!

....and man it was easy to find quotes on the arrogance of the human race...here's a few for your enjoyment...

"When men are most sure and arrogant they are commonly most mistaken, giving views to passion without that proper deliberation which alone can secure them from the grossest absurdities."---David Hume

The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos."---Stephen Jay Gould

“The "control of nature" is a phrase conceived in arrogance, born of the Neanderthal age of biology and the convenience of man."---Rachel Carson

“The insufferable arrogance of human beings to think that Nature was made solely for their benefit, as if it was conceivable that the sun had been set afire merely to ripen men's apples and head their cabbages."...Cyrano De Bergerac

love
peter