"Retarded!"

Retarded----"Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed; relatively slow in mental or emotional or physical development."

Yup, Yup, Yup! That's me all right! I am emphatically, undeniably, categorically, blessedly retarded. What a relief. It explains so much to me, even though it's probably not much of a surprise to anyone else. Has anyone ever noticed that words only develop negative connotations over time depending on how society uses them. Retarded is a prime example, which, when used in relation to the mental development of a human person was eventually adjusted to "mentally handicapped" and recently amended again to "mentally challenged". I can think of many others, particularly racial and religious slurs which more often than not started out innocently enough. I won't go into specifics because that's an area that is a little too risque even for me.

But I do believe that like most things in life, even the usage of words can come full circle, and as such I intend on starting a trend to bring 'retarded' back into vogue in a positive way. Of course when I say start the trend I only truly follow on the heels of son Peter, sister Cory, and of course George Carlin. Sick as it may seem the main reason I admire George is because in his irreverance to every sensitive topic under the sun, he in essence diffuses all the bullshit sensitivity....all the pussyfooting around to make sure no ones feelings are hurt. Actually sometimes I think that George is Peters real father as they share this abiltity to put it all into perspective, without mincing words. After all as George used to say, "It's all bullshit, its all fucking bullshit!

So how do I propose to bring momentum to my intentions to bring the word back. Well step one I have already taken in naming myself retarded. Step 2 would then naturally be to include my family in the category and so I state that I have 11 retarded siblings, 4 retarded children, 2 retarded grandchildern, 1 retarded daughter in law, and last but not least 1 very retarded wife! Of course most of you will recall that you also acknowledged yourselves as idiots, so from now on please consider your selves a bunch of retarded idiots. Actually don't just consider it, but rather shout it with pride. The only way to create the positive connotation is to get people to envy you for it. Pretty soon everyone will want to be a retarded idiot, and I will end up on Wikipedia as the founder of the movement. Woohoo!

Ok, enough of that. How about this. Do you think Cory's sense of humour is subtle enough that she spelled "rescind' wrong on purpose in yesterdays comment? I truly want to believe that she was purposely being sly, but I just can't help the sneaking suspicion that she's just retarded!

And John, despite the fact that I know english was his second language the more I hear about some of your dear departed fathers quotes, the more I think that maybe he was a little retarded too eh?

And Larry, from you those words go beyond motivational. Just the fact that you read my ramblings regularly is enough for me. To acknowledge my blog as your new bible however is truly a special comment. I do acknowledge that like the bible it is mostly full of bullshit, with the odd bit of wisdom thrown in....usually borrowed from somewhere else.

Thirty two kilometres today in the wind. That was nicely offset by the warmer weather though and it was quite a friendly little run. I was very tempted to go further but reason prevailed. It doesn't look real good for my outside ride tomorrow as without any sunshine today the pavement has stayed wet, and it looks like more of the same tomorrow but with colder temperatures. If it's a no go, I will simply have to go to the dreaded pool instead. I'm then out of town until thursday so I'll have a bit of a break.

I wish to dedicate day 143 to Jane Gainsforth, the really nice lady from Ironman canada who told me last year that I could roll my entry over to 2009!

hmmm.....

"Of all the idiots I`ve known in my life, none of them were retarded."---W Brown

love
peter