Short workout today. All I did was a 7 km run but I did a couple of intense bursts of 2.5 kms and 1 km. It felt good. I also completed the dry run of a weight training program Peter is helping me with. Tomorrow I will do the real thing, and the intent is to do it twice a week on an ongoing basis. I think it's gonna be good. Believe it or not it is a program I got out of one of those complicated training books I'm always bitchin about. Peter tells me it's a good program.
So how do some people do it?
Maintain sanity that is, while all around you it seems like the wheels are falling off. Or rather than maintain sanity, maintain peace of mind. Sanity is not near as sacred to me as contentment, and for that matter maybe they actually exist better without one another. If you're totally nuts maybe you can be at peace.
Day before yesterday I watched a guy standing at the end of the lane at the pool just talking to himself for 20 minutes before he started swimming. Maybe he lost his marbles because the wheels fell off his bus and maybe he's happier now.
Then yesterday, at the pool again when I came into the change room after my swim there was a guy vigorously washing himself in the shower. After I showered, got changed, went back to the pool deck to watch Colby swim for 1o minutes, and came back to the change room he was still washing himself. His wheels definitely fell off at some point. Again maybe he's happier now. I know that at the very least he was happy to use up all of the soap because he was working on the second dispenser by then!
So if there's any small truth in my theory then I can conclude that I am still sane. And quite frankly I would like to remain that way and still achieve the peace of mind we all desire. I do believe there are people out there who are capable of doing so even during tough times. I think many people achieve at least a taste of what I'm talking about through religion or spirituality but that has never really worked for me. Even though I am envious of these people it seems to me like an escape....like a last resort...like a giving over of control and responsibility. I just can't quite buy that. I can't start mouthing the platitudes and preaching the wisdom of god. It seems to me that this god should be showing me how to take care of me and mine, without me having to beg him for help. What else makes him/her a god?
Alas, as life wears on I am starting to come to the realization that shitty things are going to continue to happen and that unless I find a way to accept them and still be content, that I will continue to live my life in fear of the wheels! But shouldn't there be some things that you can depend on, take for granted and just enjoy?
So which is it with these other people I see around me that seem to have it generally well in hand...that seem to sleep well and wake up well? Is it that they haven't lost as many wheels as I have or do they truly know a secret that I don't? Or is it all just an illusion? Do they just wear a mask?
In my case the metaphorical wheels on the bus are my childern, and my grandchildren. Without these wheels properly inflated and running true the bus ride is bumpy and unpleasant. With them all humming along the highway, I personally have few other needs. Claudette handles it much better than me but I know that she suffers as well with the same ailment. Thank god at least that I have her to steer the bus!
I wish to dedicate day 156 to the Dalai Lama. Check out his website sometime. http://dalailama.com/
....for a religious kind of guy I like a lot of what this man says...of course he's had 14 lifetimes to learn eh?...
"Do not confuse peace of mind with spaced out insensitivity. A truly peaceful mind is very sensitive, very aware."---Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th Dalai Lama
....I'm working on this one...
"I tell you one thing / if you want peace of mind, do not find fault with others. Rather learn to see your own faults."---Sri Sarada Devi
....this is still my biggest problem
“For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe."---Larry Eisenberg
....and this is one I think we all forget at times...
"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."---Desmond Tutu
love
peter
1 comment:
I think that even when fully inflated (insert your I'm full of hot air jokes here) I am not gonna be a smooth ride. Time has left me scared, and misshapen. But, if you need a spare, I could ride in the trunk. I also wanted to say that sanity is highly over rated. Crazy people are happy. Who knows, maybe everything they do is normal, and we're the fucked up ones. all of us trying to achieve this "sanity" thing, and all the while just moving closer to the crazy side of the fence. The grass if definitely crazier on the other side, unless your on the other side, then I guess it's not, or if there's no fence at all then what. Live in a place where it doesn't matter, crazy or sane. Happy, truly happy, inside and out, that's what matters. "have you ever noticed how green the grass looks from here?" "hey! who moved the fence?!"
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