"Unfinished Business"

I got my picture from my buddy late last night and so here it is.



From left to right are Jose Antonio, myself, Roman, and Jose Ramon. We just completed our 3 km run in style. This was as a result of a challenge I issued Jose Antonio 4 or 5 weeks ago. I am very proud of him as he moves forward in his efforts to improve his health. Roman and Jose Ramon came out in support as well. I felt a great sense of fellowship.

I could actually use a little of Jose Antonio's help as well. He is an accountant and a very astute businessman. I wonder if he could help me with Revenue Canada? It turns they have a little unfinished business wih me as well. When I got home I found a letter from them asking for supporting documentation for Michaels tuition fees. As soon as I seen it I knew that I had screwed up, and sure enough I made a typo to the tune of $3000!!! It turns out that I don't think it will affect our actual taxes but it does cause me a lot of grief. I just spent the last 2 hours putting together the documentation I think they want. And of course they want it now!! Not after my Ironman. I hope they like what I'm sending them. We'll find out!

For me the hardest part is to know that I made such a mistake. Not paying attention!

That's all the energy I have for tonite. I ran 7.5 kms when I got home and I have a long ride (120kms) tomorrow morning.

I wish to dedicate day 331 to Jim Flaherty, Canadas Minister of Finance. Thanks for the letter Jim!

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."---Albert Einstein

love
peter

"Rules!"

It seems they have "rules" to this whole thing! I looked the word up in the dictionary anf got this.

"a principle or regulation governing conduct, action, procedure, arrangement, etc."

So apparently you can't just do what ever the hell you like. Well actually you can, but as you can see below they will then kick you out. The following was posted on the race site this morning. You may or may not find it interesting.

A MESSAGE FROM THE HEAD REFEREE
Author: August 13, 2009

Dear Athletes, For this Ironman event, we will be using a slightly modified version of the 2009 USAT Competitive Rules. In summary, we will operate under the “3 strikes and you are out” principle.

Even though DRAFTING is the only violation to incur a 4-minute time penalty (to be served in the nearest penalty tent, located at various spots on the bike course), any type of violation counts toward your 3 strikes.

Example: 1. DRAFTING violation (4 minutes, served in penalty tent on the bike course)

2. HELMET CHINSTRAP violation (stop-and-go, served in penalty tent on the bike course)

3. LITTERING violation—this is the 3rd violation and results in disqualification (DQ)

Again, any combination of 3 rule violations will result in a DQ. To minimize your misunderstanding of the rules on race day, please take the time to read and understand the following summary of Position Violations and review the 2009 USAT Competitive Rules.

• ALWAYS RIDE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR LANE to avoid an ILLEGAL POSITION or BLOCKING call

• KEEP FOUR BIKE LENGTHS (7 METERS) BETWEEN YOUR BIKE’S FRONT WHEEL AND THE REAR WHEEL OF THE CYCLIST IN FRONT OF YOU to avoid a DRAFTING call

• ALWAYS PASS ON THE LEFT OF THE CYCLIST IN FRONT OF YOU, NEVER ON THE RIGHT to avoid an ILLEGAL PASS call

• COMPLETE YOUR PASS WITHIN 20 SECONDS to avoid a DRAFTING call

• IF PASSED, DROP BACK FOUR BIKE LENGTHS BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO RE-PASS to avoid an OVERTAKEN or DRAFTING call

You will see a large number of trained referees on the course who will ensure safety and fairness. Triathlon is an individual event, and it is your responsibility to fully understand the rules and avoid penalties. The referees’ ruling is final in the case of Position Violations, and there are no protests or appeals. The following are several other common rules violations:

• HELMET CHINSTRAP—the chinstrap of your helmet must be securely fastened whenever you are on your bike on race day!

• RACE NUMBER—you must display your body race number during the bike and run portions of the race, and your bike number must be properly attached to your bike and be visible from the left!

• LITTERING—do not throw away ANYTHING outside of official aid stations!

• UNAUTHORIZED EQUIPMENT—sorry, absolutely NO MP3 players or other audio devices (yes, that means NO Oakley Thumps™ or Apple iPods®)! No cell phones either!

• OUTSIDE ASSISTANCE—do NOT accept any assistance from anyone other than a race official, and do NOT allow non-racers to ride or run alongside you!

Please remember that even though DRAFTING is the only violation that incurs a 4-minute time penalty, you must go to a penalty tent for any violation to have your number marked, and all violations count toward your 3 strikes. There will be no penalty tents on the run. If you are penalized on the run, the official will mark your number on the spot. FAILURE TO STOP AT THE PENALTY TENT IS GROUNDS FOR DISQUALIFICATION (DQ)!

Please remember to treat other athletes, all volunteers, and your referees with courtesy and consideration. Not doing so is UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT and may result in disqualification.

I sincerely hope you run a perfect race, have lots of fun, and achieve all your goals.
Jürgen Heise, Head Referee, 2009 Ironman Canada

I'm not worried about any of these rules with the exception perhaps of the drafting stuff. To start with the 7 metre rule is just absurd as far as I'm concerned. You cant possibley get any kind of advantage beyond 2 metres of another rider. If you took all 2900 riders and spread them 7 metres apart you would have a line about 20 kms long. This problem should diminish as the race wears on but I worry about the congestion early on. As well, just like the guy in the car that passes you on the highway and then slows immediatley, there are many riders like this.

Oh well, I'll just do my best since I hate it when people try to draft, and If I do get nailed I get a 4 minute rest! As long as I don't get caught 3 times eh?

Having the last couple of days off has given me time to really consider whether I am ready for this and for the most part I think I am, physically. It would have been better if I had 2 years instead of one, and I wish I had started weight training right from the start, but other than that I think I've done all I can do.

Mentally is still a different matter and correcting that is a task I will take to heart once we head out in the RV. The biggest problem I have is the feelings of guilt that I carry about the selfish nature of this whole undertaking. In the last couple of months especially I have given neither my employer nor my family the commitment they deserve from me. I am fortunate that they both have been so understanding. Regardless, this negative emotion doesn't do me any good , and so for the next couple of weeks I will remain selfish and try simply to focus on my event. For 2 weeks nothing else can matter!

I had another brief story to tell you tonite but without the picture I was expecting from Jose Antonio it won't fly. Maybe tomorrow I'll cover that one. I think maybe JA fell asleep in his fancy chair!!

I wish to dedicate day 330 to Jose Ramon Perez because he's a good guy who also runs and bikes.

“The first rule is not to lose. The second rule is not to forget the first rule."---Warren Buffett

"You are remembered for the rules you break."---Douglas MacArthur

"There are two good rules which ought to be written on every heart - never to believe anything bad about anybody unless you positively know it to be true; never to tell even that unless you feel that it is absolutely necessary"--- Henry Van Dyke

"Inspiration"

Yesterday I received this e-mail from my friend Mark Whitten. You can see that with his note he forwarded me an e- mail that I had sent him shortly after my diagnosis almost 2 years ago now.

Peter,

I would like to wish you all the best in your triathlon journey! My thoughts will be with you August 30th! I know you will complete this and surprise yourself in the process…

Please see below e-mail. I hope it will also serve as inspiration!!! I kept it for that reason!

Saludos!


Sent: Wed Oct 10 5:49:37 2007
Subject: Running

Excellent. I too will be running a spring marathon....london in early may. Maybe that can work for you somehow? I would also love to be a long distance(no pun intended) amateur coach for you if you're interested in any training thoughts. This will be my 5th shot at the distance. My PB is 3 hours 11 minutes, and am still committed to going under 3 hours sometime in my life.
Mark I will share something very personal with you which only my family knows at this time. One week before my diagnosis I officially signed up to do Ironman Canada next august, in Penticton BC. A dream that has been 15 years in the making. My plans have not changed.
This friday I start both chemotherapy and radiation treatments which they promise will make me very sick. Throughout this I will be holding on to my Ironman dream very tightly. To have any hope to be ready for august I have to be already very fit by marathon time in may.
As to running Boston, you indeed need to qualify, but quite frankly I don't know what the attraction is. The distance is the same everywhere, as is the gratification if you are doing it for the right reasons. I have run Detroit, Toronto and London, ontario twice and definitely enjoyed the smaller local race much more.

peter

Oh how incredibly naive I was. In hind sight it all seems so weird. To start with, that I ever thought I was still going to do the 2008 event, and secondly the prophetic nature of the whole thing. Even though I lost a entire year somehow I did indeed held on to my dream. Also I can't believe Mark kept the note. Somehow he believed in me long after I had stopped doing so.

What's even more ironic is that today I received a note from Ironman Canada asking me for comfirmation of my attendance. They very same message I got last year which led to the dream coming alive again. It was nice that this time I didn't have to send my regrets!

I wish to dedicate day 329 to Cole Robilliard who continues to fight an uphill battle against the evils of cancer.

"It's all about decisions! We choose what decision we make everyday!"---Horst Schulze

“If you only do what you know you can do- you never do very much."---Tom Krause

love
peter

"My New Favorite Place"

Is now officially Houston Texas. That's why I decided to spend a night here. You may recall that George Bush Intercontinental Airport was also the scene of a little extra interrogation by my friends at US Immigration some weeks back.

Today I can't blame the Americans though. My plane was an hour and a half late leaving Toronto this afternoon because of a bizarre system that even the pilot never knew existed. Apparently there is some kind of setup that detects lightning within a 60 km radius and if this occurs none of the service staff at the airport is allowed outside. There is a network of strobe lights that issue a warning and basically the whole airport shuts down. The airplane I needed to get on was sitting at the gate but the arriving passengers couldn't get off, and so of course we couldn't get on. Once they let us on I was questioning whether I was doing the smart thing or not, since maybe I would have been able to get another flight direct to Mexico, but I thought we could still make it. What I didn't consider was that even though we were on board, the whole airport was of course in turmoil and we sat around the tarmac for another 45 minutes. And of course I couldn't change my mind anymore then!

Anyway, I missed my connection by about 5 minutes and so here I sit. Fortunately they have a hotel right at the airport so it's not too bad right now. They rescheduled me for the same flight to Saltillo tomorrow evening which would mean I would spent the entire day here, but fortunately I managed to get it switched to an earlier flight (10 am) to Monterrey. That is only a good hour away and my friend Patricia will arrange to have me picked up there and driven to the plant.

Overall I'm pretty happy with how I coped. I wanted to yell and scream, but I know it's my own fault anyway. I schedule my life so tightly, especially when travelling, that this shit is bound to happen. I take later flights with tight connections, specifically so that I can still get a workout in on the day I fly.

Still I can tell it's gonna be a long 19 days. Already I'm starting to feel like I'm gaining weight and losing fitness. Somehow felling bagged has become the norm and anything else is worrisome.

Speaking of workouts I ran the block before I left and that will be it until my return friday evening. Well except for a promised 3 km jog with my 2 friends from Saltillo. I hope they're ready because I'm gonna hold them to it, and if they whine we're gonna go further. Get ready muchachos!

I wish to dedicate day 328 to my wife, because hotel rooms make me miss her.

"I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace."---Dalai Lama

love
peter

"Nervous Already!"

Partially it's because I'm not leaving myself enough time to get ready to travel. I am going to Mexico in the morning, and won't be back until late friday, then I still have a long ride saturday, and a long swim Sunday before we head out. I will try to use my travel time to make comprehensive lists of what I have to do and what I have to pack wehn I get back. My wife has graciously offered to perpare anything I need and I'll try to take advantage of that. It's just my personal "control freak" problem that may get in the way of that.

I better figure out how to deal with these anxiety issues because it's only gonna get worse as I work out less....like coming off drugs! I think I'll take a pill!!!

Today was an easy 60km bike ride and that's it. I will get a short run in tomorrow morning before I leave.

I wish to dedicate day 327 to 2004 Olympic Triathlon champion, Canadian Simon Whitfield, who when asked how he sleeps before a big race answered, "on my side".

“Oh the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man! Oh the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are!"---Charles Dickens

“When you suffer an attack of nerves you're being attacked by the nervous system. What chance has a man got against a system?"---Russell Hoban

"Rough Waters"

Lake Erie is a relatively shallow lake which apparently explains why there are so many boats on the bottom of it. It doesn’t take too much wind to whip up the waves pretty good. While it wasn’t by any means a threat to boating this morning it was indeed a bit choppy for swimming. I didn’t feel like it but I got myself in there (it wasn’t so bad at little beach) and spent an hour zig-zagging back and forth. Here’s proof of the conditions.



But it didn't look so bad from up higher.




And that was it for today. We had a nice visit from Jon and Alisha and we all took a nature walk down to Hawk Cliff.

I wish to dedicate day 326 to Ogopogo, who will no doubt keep the lake calm on Aug 30th.

“I think you have to know who you are. Get to know the monster that lives in your soul, dive deep into your soul and explore it."---Tori Amos


love
peter

"Thats It!"

Three weeks tomorrow is the big day, and my taper officially starts now! I can’t believe it’s here but I'll tell you it’s just in time. I have felt sluggish ever since my strong run on Wednesday and this morning the day’s task just seemed so daunting. I really had to work hard mentally to get my butt out there especially after waking up to a gloomy day with a promise of rain. I think if I didn’t know that Jon and Alisha were coming down and staying overnight, I would have found some way to procrastinate until tomorrow. As it is I’m glad I had that motivator. I had to work hard to do my 5 hours and 50 minutes but in the end I felt pretty good. The 5 hours was 150 kms of bike ride, the last 40 kms in the rain, and the 50 minutes was 10 kms of running. All’s well that ends well.

Some years ago when we lived on Queen street in St Thomas, you would frequently see a unique couple walking the streets of our neighborhood. He was an older, quite tall gentleman and his friend was a not so old, and not so tall lady. A real caricature couple. From their mannerisms and the bits of conversation you could sometime overhear they were both clearly “special” in some way. This was not an unusual sight in our area of town, because there were several “community living” homes nearby. For several years I would see the two of them walking the streets, constantly in conversation, and despite their “uniqueness” they were quite obviously soul mates. Then one day I seen him by himself, and then again on another occasion…the gentleman all alone? For some time I never seen him at all until one day I was at the library and I seen him walk in…again alone. I admit that out of the corner of my eye I spied on him a little bit as he sat down at one of the reading tables. He spread out a bunch of books in front of him but instead of opening one of the books he had gathered, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded what appeared to be a letter and from the state of the paper and the depth of the folds it was clear that this note had been carried around for some time and folded and unfolded a multitude of times. As if to confirm that, and while I watched, he put the letter away and pulled it out at least 2 more times. Every re- reading of it brought an intensity to his face that clearly indicated how priceless and significant the words on the page were. For some reason I had a certainty that the letter was from her. Whether circumstances took her out of his life in a temporary or a permanent way, I would never know, and if the truth be known perhaps the letter wasn’t even from her. Regardless of any of this, it was clear that words on a piece of paper meant so much to him that he was trying to preserve them for as long as possible, and that they had become an important part of his life.

So I know that you thought perhaps I was not going to come back to my letter at all but in fact I was just waiting for the feeling to be right and so here goes. First off I will not discourage you from trying to figure out who the letter was from, but I will not divulge the author unless I get permission to do so. I have shared it with my wife as I try to do all things unless specifically asked not to.

As to the letter itself I can tell you that I have already read it several times, and while perhaps I won’t get as obsessive as my old friend from the library I expect to read it many more times, and in fact intend on taking it with me to Penticton.

Why did these 2 pages of words…just words after all... strike such a chord with me? I guess I have to tell you a little about the contents to illustrate. After an introduction the writer starts with a reference to my journey from sickness to health, and then ultimately to fitness and beyond. He/she expresses appreciation for my willingness to share my journey through my writings, and commends my courage in doing so. As much as I take some pride in this, I know that it is only circumstance that brought me to that willingness. It may seem strange to you but despite all my bellyaching about my health, both physical and emotional, I truly do consider some aspects of my illness to have been a gift. One of these is the relative, reckless abandon with which I now make myself vulnerable to the world through my openness. I say relative because although I am now very candid compared to the way I was before I still want to do more. I have come to believe that only when I am prepared to be completely honest with the outside world will I be completely honest with myself, and in turn approach the inner harmony that I so strive for. For this reason I am grateful for the writers’ encouragement. If it somehow affects people in a positive way, why not keep doing it eh?

The writer then goes on to talk about ideas/thoughts/feelings triggered in his/her own mind when I shared some of my personal experiences. Especially those related to my youth at school and at home. I suppose we all have many stories that we’ve never told and maybe even many memories that we’ve suppressed. I acknowledge the writers commentary here as a rewarding side effect of a blog which was originally intended to make me think…not anyone out there!

He/She then goes on to thank me for my references to and interaction with my grandchildren and you can imagine what that means to me.

The next paragraph references my work and hit home with me again, and I quote, “I don’t think you ever do any real work. You just make time to sit and talk to people about their personal lives” Absolutely correct ! And coincidentally the aspect of my work that I’m most proud of.

We then come to the last paragraph which the writer claims to be the real reason for the letter in the first place. In their closing comments I am delivered an eloquent expression of their desires for me on race day and promises to send me energy throughout the day. The last 3 sentences near brought me to tears and indeed is the reason that the letter will go with me to Penticton. I give them to you also as the closing words of my post today. You will understand why I was so moved

“And when you toss aside your wetsuit, and park your bike, and it is nothing but you and the road, may the joy of living and breathing take you to the finish line with enough energy left to throw your arms in the air and then wrap them around your wife. And know that there are so many more of us who have followed you all day from wherever we are and celebrating with you. This is the wish that I send to you today”

I wish to dedicate day 325 to the old gentleman of the well read letter, whoever and whereever he is.

"You cannot dream yourself into a character: you must hammer and forge yourself into one."---Henry D. Thoreau

"Try not to become a man of success but a man of value."---Albert Einstein

love
peter