The immortal words of Bob Dylan. Or if you prefer there's Janis Joplins "Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz". Those I'm sorry to tell you my friends, are 2 of the very few ways to instant gratification in our world; either get wasted or go out and buy something. Not very healthy either one of them, but it's the 'instant' part that makes them attractive. I guess there are some things you can buy that may provide something positive quickly....like hearing aids for example. Or at least that's what the people that sell hearing aids tell me. Apparently I have a significant high frequency hearing loss from the chemo drugs, which makes speech in noisy surroundings difficult to understand, and they think they can fix this with a device. Im going to have to do some heavy thinking on this one. I already hate my glasses and I can't imagine hearing aids are any less of a nuisance.
I'll tell you one thing that doesn't bring much instant gratification, at least for me, and thats taking care of my health. It's a lifelong challenge that I have not mastered. I hope the combination of my recent life changing experience, and the journey I'm currently setting out on will make it a permanent condition...well at least as permanent as it gets.
I don't have much else today. I feel like a bag of hammers after my long ride yesterday and I'm worrying terribly about my son Jon. I so hope that if I can do what Im planning, maybe he can do what he needs to. Hopefully "Someone's" watching out for him, and will bring him back to us.
I also have to take a minute to thank the incredible people I work for. Cosma International(Magna) is indeed a great company. The combination of the way they treated me during my illness, and the flexibility they give me now, allow me a chance to fulfill my dream.
Lastly please note that after every post I make, there is an opportunity for you to comment. I truly appreciate anything you may care to contribute, and I particularly like witticisms, or heavy sarcasm....actually even verbal abuse is good. That's what a misfit I am eh?
I wish to dedicate day 6 to my big sister Cory who is a better sibling than me.
"Money talks, but it don't sing and dance, and it dont' walk."
love peter
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5 comments:
I so agree with this quick-fix world we live in. As for your health, you have managed very well in maintaining it. I believe getting cancer was a reminder that it is indeed a life long task. I hope more people are inspired by your perserverance and will follow in your steps to taking care of themselves.
I want to end with a 'thumbs up' to cosma for all their support which will allow you to fulfill a long overdue dream.
Swim like you have never swam, bike like you have never biked and run like you have never ran before.
I believe in you!
I think you should do drugs! Worked for me! OH! no wait... That's right didn't work at all. I take that back, I think you should do drugs. Oh shit, sorry, I meant drugs. Yeah so, you asked for sarcasm and you got it! I get to make jokes about drugs, cause I can. Most people still cringe when I do. I am O.K. with this though, that's is their issue, not mine. I of course do not, and will not do drugs. You have not struggled with a drug addiction,at least not to the extent that I have. You still have the choice. You could use drugs(alcohol is a drug,PERIOD!)any, and many kinds. You choose not to every day. You may not have the struggle that some have in this manner, but should take as much credit as anyone who does. Just because I have an addiction, that does not minimize and abstinence on your part. You should be proud of your self for making the right decisions regarding you recovery. I am proud of you every day. Even with out setting such a high goal, any one who gets through any major life changing experience, and does not take the easy way out should be too. You have hard days, as do many others. I do not doubt that you have some that are much harder than many people will ever experience. Despite all of these hurdles, you still move forwards. Slowly but surely, actually cancel that. You are moving much, much faster than most. Remember, life is measured by your hard ships, not by your achievements. The good is easy to deal with, it feels good. The shitty stuff is where it gets... well shitty. You cab get through this as long as you keep going. so like you said, hell bound or not why stop. I love you for being brave enough to put your insides on the outsides. Out in the open where every body can see.
Well, alright, enough about your teenie weenie. Its of no interest to me no matter how numb it gets. You should feel how numb my ass gets after 10 minutes on a bike at .5 mph, to say nothing of the fact that my bike seat completely disappears up my huge ass and I have to pry it out with a crow bar before I can get off. Now that's a problem. I promised my trainer I was doing Cardio today despite the fact that my quads and my abs are sore as hell, so I'm getting on my bike despite the aforementioned difficulties and going to increase my speed beyond what I've done for some time. I admit you've inspired me by the dedication but I think you should stop your wining and do the 100k again tomorrow. I can't believe how lazy you've gotten. And if aforementioned is spelled wrong its because this stupid blog has no spell checker.
I pray for your son every day and I'm certain the time will come when he comes home. Your and Roo's continued love for him will make the difference in time. Be strong. Be well. much love.
Sorry, I guess other people are wittier than I, and that doesn't seem to be my forte today, but tough shit, I'm commenting anyway. I remember praying that Tim would live long enough to come to his senses, and I know not everyone does, but I think that the fact that so many people are willing to keep "honest" with and about Jon is his best chance. I pray, in my way, to my "god", that he will come home to the love waiting for him.
Dear Peter, With Cory's help I have finally learned how to post a comment. I think you must be smarter than me, but I'm better looking!! I love your Blog and look forward to reading it each day!!! You are an inspiration to many including me. I already know that you have many angels looking out for you as you wouldn't be among us today if you didn't. You can call on those same angels to help you achieve your dream and I have no doubt that you will do just that. I can't wait to be at the finish line to celebrate with you.
I too pray for Jon each day. Wherever he is in this big bad world of ours, he too has his angels sitting on his shoulder. Perhaps, one day soon, they will be able to help him see more clearly the road back to his family and those that love him unconditonally.
I want to share a short prayer by St. Terese that has become a way of life for me.
Just for today,
What does it matter, O lord, if the future is dark?
To pray now for tomorrow, I am not able.
Keep my heart only for today,
give me your protection today,
grant me your light --
Just for today.
I love you, mary
ps How do you know what a bag of hammers feels like??
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