Oh Grasshopper? Are you alive grasshopper? As I have mentioned, Hermosillo is in the Sonoran desert and as such the home of many unique creatures. One of them is a fairly large, and quite ugly grasshopper. As the year wears into fall and the temperatures start dropping below 40C they tend to move inside to keep warm. And so it is common to find these creatures of God everywhere including in our offices at the plant. If you encounter one it is normal to just step on him and kick him off to the side, and the cleaning people will take care of their carcasses later. It seems that sometimes they just come inside to die as it is also not unusual to see them slow and barely moving, somtimes on their side or even upside down. Today I discovered one such grasshopper right beside my desk and was about to stomp him, when I seen that despite being upside down he was still very much alive. For some reason I didn't do the deed? This went very much against my farm upbringing where we were taught that a suffering creature should always be put out of his misery, or as my beautiful Colby(my Grandson) would say "get the misery out of him". Regardless, and for some unknown reason I chose not to do so then or any af several times more during the day, even though he clearly seemed to get more feeble by the hour, eventually getting to the point where he would barley move one of his front legs upon sensing my shadow. I was so perplexed by my own reluctance to finish him off and even as I turned out the light and left him there still barely alive I didnt have the answer. So I went to the pool, had a good swim; a kilometer again but in much longer stretches, and then finally headed back to mmy hotel still with the grasshopper on my mind. What was it that stayed my hand?....or rather my foot... when in all of my previous years on this planet I would have without any thought and without any prejudice just stomped him. And then....LIKE THE PROVERBIAL TON OF BRICKS IT HIT ME. I didnt kill him because, bizarre as it may seem, something in my subconscious suggested to me that maybe he was just "depressed"?
I hope you like my silly little story, but for me there's an intent of meaning in it. I opened myself up a little yesterday (put my insides on my outsides), and nobody "stomped" me. Rather the exact opposite. The feedback both on the blog and offline from others was overwhelming. For this I am so grateful. Today I feel so un-alone, I will sleep the sleep of the loved today.
And for Cory. Mark is my friend and likes you too. He especially appreciated your bike seat story.
I want to dedicate day 9 to my friend Amy from the great state of Iowa, who is much tougher than me. At about the same time as I got my diagnosis last year she lost both her parents at the same time in a horrific accident while her little brother watched on....and in the last year 'she" has been encouraging "me"???
"No man is an island"
love
peter
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6 comments:
So many wonderful people still to encounter, and so many lessons still to learn - life is good
much love
I was just in Iowa this week, I wish I had met your friend Amy, but we never got beyond the hotel.
Thanks for sharing all of your feelings Peter, it makes us easier for us all to acknowledge our own weaknesses and sorrows. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life but the worst one was to live with regret. Each new day is a new opportunity to choose to love and be loved in return.
Uniti progrediemur (I read this on my son's shoulder)
Love you
teresa
you know -when my parents died it felt terrible-and I wondered how this event would change me and resigned myself to utter sadness...
that's what happenes in these situations right? ...wrong!!! When the shock wore off and I would think of my mom her high pitched shrill laugh would pop in my head and remind me of how she never held back her joy in laughing. And how she thought her funniest joke was when she farted!!! Everytime I would think of her something funny would pop in my head- what was wrong with me!!! I should feel deep sadness right?!?! Then it hit me - I had so many bad things happen in my life -but- I had to be a happy person for my children to be around so I "trained" my mind to focus only on the good- (wow- the power of true love) That daily "habit" saved me when I truly needed it the most !!!
As for my brother Joe- he had been through 2 divorces and had been alone for 10 years or so- quiet, immersed in his work. We were worried he would end up like a hermit. He seemed resigned to life just putting in his time. Then he went into depression and was having heart palpitations. Which was why he was following mom & dad(mom was worried and would not leave him alone) So when he witnessed the accident- we felt overwhelming worry for him. But... of course everyone who cared for him finally had a "reason" to express their love for him so he "finally" got to see how much he is loved. Still- would this push him to severe depression?
NO- he was reminded of love and how it "felt"- pulled out of his depression- stopped taking his meds- met a great girl and is getting married in 2 weeks!!!
There is good in bad- but you have to "focus" on the good !
I will not apologize for this being so long- there is something for everyone.
As for the grasshopper- it was his time- but he was not ready- and you of all people understood that the most my friend !!!
Amy
Hey Peter, Just wanted you to know the US blog was a shared blog with a friend. Doggie days was mine. I did not know much about this stuff so I never made my own, but now I understand it alittle better working with yours so I have taken it over and it is called Amy.
Take care.
Amy
P.S. Rick says hi and wonders when you are going to come see him?
No man is an island... I seen a guy on the television once, and I am sure he was close! By the way I laughed out loud when I read your story, thanks.
I want to know what is the status of that grasshopper!!! Your grasshopper story was funny. Thanks for sharing.
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