I seen a guy with a cane and I thought I should be grateful.
Then I seen a guy in a wheelchair and I thought I should be grateful.
I considered how fortunate I am that I could go and run 7 kms this morning and I thought I should be grateful.
But I'm Not!
I wanted to run around the block without any discomfort in my knee. Whether it seems selfish or not, that's the way I felt. It was discouraging to find out that it did not seem to have improved at all. It felt great for all of about 3 minutes at which point I got the first twinge, and then it got progressively worse until by the end it was about the same as last time I ran.
It was also a running day from hell. Cold with a nasty wind and absolutely no place to find traction.
I haven't for a second changed my commitment level but it's hard to keep it all in perspective. I admit that this whole thing has become a bit of an obsession and as such I somtimes worry that I have my priorities wrong. But part of me also wants to believe that I deserve this opportunity to do something special. I just don't know?
The short term plan is to swim tomorrow and then try biking the following day. Hopefully I will be able to ride without discomfort and if so I will alternate cycling and swimming for the next week or so.
Of course I did all my stretching and strengthening exercises and the ice pack is in place as I write. I will continue to do so religiously.
Enough whining??
OK.
Here's your idiot moment of the day...well actually yesterday. I was going uptown in Roo's car and realized as I was going out the driveway that I didn't have my water bottle. So I backed up and left the car running while I ran back into the house. When I came back out I passed behind the vehicle and thought I heard the parking assist beeper go off. Hmmmm....I thought? That thing should only go off when the car is in reverse?
You can probably guess the rest of the story! Speaking of gratitude, I was definitely happy that there was enough snow on the ground that I didn't find the thing in the back yard up against the fence!
I'm also grateful for a few other things and if a picture's worth a thousand words this one should tell you why I like to go to Mexico once in a while
.
And this one why I still like Canada as well.
I wish to dedicate day 95 to my nephew Zack. I'm pretty sure his parents are grateful for him.
And some words of wisdom for anyone who has survived cancer and is still not satisfied...
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."---Buddha
"When our perils are past, shall our gratitude sleep? ---George Canning
love
peter
7 comments:
Not easy to live behind those eyes. Sitting behind the eyes of a person who has lost something valuable, when actually you have not(yet) is an amazing feat. If for even 1 second you can truly sit and feel those emotions, without the loss, you have gained perspective, and possibly some appreciation of that which you take for granted. Living behind those eyes all the time how ever, is just about impossible. Should you feel bad for everyone with a disability in one form or another? I don't think so. Be grateful when you can. The rest of the time, I say fuck it! Take things for granted, live as if you deserve what you have! Because you do. Does that imply that the people with less don't deserve what you have? I don't think it does. Just means that you aren't going to spend your time wallowing in other peoples suffering. Hell! The people you think are suffering, may not be at all. Take blindness, sound pretty shitty from where I sit, I mean I have always been able to see, and loosing that now would feel horrible. On the other hand the blind guy you might see in a mall could have been born that way. He may not miss sight at all, as he never had it to begin with. Just enjoy one thing a day that other may or not be able to enjoy. The rest of the time, fuck them all! Blind, crippled, deaf, mentally retarded, and what not. You don't know if they are suffering, or if they are just living their day as they always do. You can't always live behind the eyes of a person who suffers, because that, would suck!
That son of yours is kinda smart sometimes. Being dissatisfied at times with things in your life does not mean you aren' grateful for what you do have, and giving up your own dreams will not change the course of those less fortunate. In fact it does them a great diservive.
So, back to your knee. I don't mean to hassle you about this but I feel I perhaps didn't explain myself very well. I was never suggesting that a brace would cure the problem. I was suggesting that it would allow you to train without causing further injury and giving the treatments you have in place that extra time to heal the knee without requiring being "on the shelf". I stand behind my suggestion that a good physiatrist or sports medicine specialist will understand this from an ATHLETE's point of view, and be able to help you with your dream. If you didn't have this lofty goal in mind, it wouldn't be at all necessary. Just give it some more thought. And Mary's right - I bet your plan at work would cover a big portion of the cost, and you would only wear it while running.
Nuff said about that.
Have a great day!
disservice
idiots...
What's a physiatrist? I've never heard of it.
and for the idea of what we 'deserve'. What exactly does that mean? It is used a lot to advertise luxury products...'go ahead, you deserve it' What makes most of us deserve anything...I don't deserve most of the good things I have...I did nothing special that I should have them when others don't.
A physiatrist is a doctor of physical medicine i.e. muscles, ligaments, tendons, and bones and how they function together. They are also experts in nerve conduction. Its a subspecialty of internal medicine ,and it can't be too uncommom because we have 2 in Guelph. One of them is amazing, and she is quite excited to be the team physician for the Canadian Women's Olympic Hockey team for 2010. She is cutting her hours right now so she can travel with them part time as they train.
I think Cory is full of it! I think she made the word up! Idiot! Lmao!
Turns out that not every body thinks it's funny to be called an idiot! Still... funny as hell!
Love all of you guys!
This blog has helped to strengthen many relationships.
Thanks dad.
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