"I've Been Everywhere Man"

"Across the deserts bare man, I've breathed the mountian air man"
Well, not everywhere man, but quite a few places. As much as I’m not a fan of travelling I am grateful for the limited experiences I have had. Particularly because of the way it has opened my eyes. One of my most vivid travel memories were the few days I spent in South Africa 3 years ago. Somehow this memory came back to me this morning as I headed out at 6:30 am for Mexico. For a couple of reasons. First, as much as I hate the grief of flying to the less travelled, smaller cities of Mexico it pales in comparison to getting to South Africa. If you check it out on the globe you will be surprised just how far away it is from Ontario. Due to a combination of east/west and north/south it is almost on the other side of the planet. So Mexico’s not so bad in comparison.

Secondly however, when I thought about travel, and consequently South Africa my mind took me back to yesterdays post, and my admonishment to myself to ”manage my expectations”. In the realm of expectations please consider these facts. I live in a country in which, when diagnosed with cancer at almost 52 years of age was called fortunate because I was still a young man. Conversely, the “average” life expectancy in SA is 47 years of age!!!

So I will try to always consider the realities that so many other people face whenever I start to get ahead of myself. I admit however that it’s very hard. This journey I’ve decided to undertake has indeed become some sort of spiritual pilgrimage for me. Because of the ‘beating’ I’ve taken over the last year or so I feel a sense of urgency to somehow make up for lost time. Or perhaps not so much lost time as lost condition or lost state; the state of my being. Because my body almost quit on me, I now feel this overwhelming compulsion to take it to the other extreme. Strength, endurance, speed, balance, skill, and yes even physical appearance have become the need. While it occurs to me that these things may not seem so noble or altruistic when seen from the outside, I content myself with the belief that I would be persuing them regardless of whether another soul knew I was doing so .

Also, and I won’t say more importantly but rather just as urgently, I feel a sense of need to impact the world around me in a much more positive way than I have in the past 52 years. I need to correct the multitude of mistakes that I have made. In this case I don’t pretend at all that my intentions are anything but selfish. I have missed out on so much in my life because of my misguided sense of what would make me happy. What I want to be from now on is an inspiration, or at least I want my thoughts, words, and actions to be an inspiration. I do believe that in fact I have been this to some people at some times, and yet when I realize how incredibly satisfying it can be, I wonder why I have let so many other opportunities pass me by. No more I say! I want to learn more about life, particularly about the body, mind, soul and their interrelationships, such that I can try to share what I learn, and also such that it encourages dialogue amongst others, and self discovery within others. In our busy world where it is hard to spend time together this blog somehow helps me to fill that need. I know that arrogance and pontificating have no place in this dream, any more than false modesty does, so please simply take my words as of value or not. The only thing I can promise you is that they are genuine.

So as to managing expectations, while I think it is important to be realistic and patient I do not believe we should let it become a limiter. I fully “expect” to “run” across that finish line next Aug 30, and way beyond that I “expect” to cross it a better, more fulfilled human being; physically, intellectually and emotionally. A human being that has utilized whatever gifts he has been given. And furthermore I expect to cross it without the usual letdown feeling that many athletes experience once they have attained a certain goal.

Because after all “Ironman” is not just a destination, it is a journey!! Please join me if you wish.

I wish to dedicate day 34 to my wife Claudette, because she dedicates her life to me!!

"We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey." --Stephen Covey

love
peter