"Fear"

Colby's feeling a little "cooped" up but not near as much as he gonna when he realizes that the whole chicken thing is a story concocted by his parents to disguise the fact that this little house is really being built for him! Wait til they put him in for the first time and throw the key into the corn field. Just kidding. If he was always locked up we would never to able to experience "uncooped" moments like this one that Claudette captured tonite....my new favorite Colby pic!



Besides, even if they did lock him up Colby is too innocent to know fear. And isn't that the way it should be.

I really felt today like I'm making progress with my own fears as relates to Ironman. Shoving them out there on the periphery where they belong. What value is their in the emotion of fear? Perhaps a little bit on the edges is not bad just to keep you motivated but that's it. But because it's an emotion it takes training (pun intended) to learn to manage it. In my case there's no question that the satisfying workouts I've had recently are what's getting me into a better place. Most recently Saturdays long bike and then again today's run. You may recall that I was very happy with my long run last week, and that I even shared my progressive improvement as the run went on. Today I completed the exact same run (4 blocks) and again I wish to show you my times., and to save you looking back to last wednesday I give you both.

Last week/This week
41:15/40:47
39:58/ 39:29
38:57/ 37:15
37:21/ 34:25

Holy Cow! While I don't pretend that this is any kind of fast running compared to the world, it is pretty fast compared to me a year ago. And as I have probably mentioned about a million times by now, it's about fitness and endurance not about speed. Today I'm not very afraid. I know I'll still fall back at times over the next 3 1/2 weeks but just for today I'm gonna relish the feeling....I am invincible!

I have to tell you about a moment I had this evening which was a bit of an epiphany...one in which I took my own advice, or rather the advice of C S Lewis from last fridays post. Here was the situation. I was working very hard on my henhouse, trying to hurry in an effort to get to a certain point when my phone rang. It was Claudette, asking if I could bring her camera to the ball diamond because Colby was catching tonite. What immediately went through my head was, "man, I'm busy here!" followed immediately by a rememberance of the quote from Lewis, and I give it to you again in it's entirety.

“The great thing is, if one can, to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions in one's "own" or "real" life. The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one's life."---C.S. Lewis

It was an amazing moment for me. How could I possibly consider the opportunity to go see Colby play backcatcher, all the while doing a favour for my best friend as an interruption in my life???? It was with pleasure and anticipation that I grabbed the camera and Kylie, and headed out. Rather than resentment I felt priviliged. Too cool eh?

I still got everything done that I wanted to.

I promised that you would get further detail on my letter of yesterday but Im gonna beg your indulgence to leave that for another day. What with running, and chicken cooping, and playing with my grandchildern I'm tired and ready for bed. Tired but gratified.

Here's a funny thought. More than once I have almost ended a work e-mail with "love peter". Must be careful....or than again, maybe who cares?

In wish to dedicate day 322 to my high school english teacher Mrs Reinhardt who taught me not be afraid to read, and who also treated me with dignity....even when I stole her word study book!

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future."---Fulton Oursler

“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life."---Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small."---Ruth Gendler

love
peter