"Baby Sisters"

Hi, My name is Betty and I’m Pete’s youngest sister and as such I’ve never really known him very well. But Pete, I know the elephant.

My goal in life is to be needed (but not too regularly, that just gets annoying) and appreciated, where I can be the hero, but don’t have to worry about maintaining the energy level. Being number 11 in this family means chances are if I do something well, someone else has already done it better, but I am usually available and that’s a big plus. (You bunch of idiots are an awfully tall measuring stick)

I am not able to drive and often find myself in a position where I need to ask favours: “Please pick up child A and drop them off at location B” is a perennial favourite. But I struggle with how to say ”Thanks” without overdoing it. I know my family is always there for me, but I also know it can get really old. I want to make sure that people know how much I appreciate their help, but also know it gets irritating when I’m saying thanks for the fourth time. Too bad I don’t know when to stop talking. Asking all those favours has given me lots of practice saying thank you, but I think I have a ways to go before I learn to say it well.

A couple of years ago I went on a school trip with my youngest daughter to Martyr Shrine in Midland. A place that was near and dear to my mother’s heart and a place where many people have gone to pray for cures from their afflictions. The altar is littered with white canes and crutches and one of the teachers pointed out that I could pray to have my vision restored. I was faced with a crisis: did I want to be normal? I decided that my vision or lack thereof was a big part of making me who I am today and so I chose to pray for guidance instead. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be or what I’m supposed to be doing and thinking about it makes the elephant gain weight. I don’t know if the guidance is there and I’m just not seeing it, or if this is something else I need to learn from. For now I guess I’ll keep looking.

There aren’t many people I trust enough to show them who I really am, but my husband and children come pretty close to knowing the real me and love me anyway. Obviously their judgement is questionable as I feed them and occasionally do their laundry, I am often surprised by how well my sisters know me and still love me and I have a lot of respect for them. I have it on good authority that I’m worth knowing; I’m working on believing that.

This blog has given me the opportunity to know my family better and make me realize I’m not always so different as I thought.

So, thank you (just once) for finding a reason to love who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I will be tomorrow and for needing me once in a while.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it whoever you are, you need one”---Jane Howard

“Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall in the river”---Tuscarora

love
Betty

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To put some of Betty's comments in context I will tell you that she is one of 3 of the idiots saddled with a degenerative eye disease called Retinitis Pigmentosa. I think it's ok to say thank you as much as you want because it's the saying it, or at least thinking it that matters, not the hearing it. That's why you can just say thank's without anyone even knowing you've done so.

The odd time I find a quote that I disagree with. Here's one such.

"Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone."---G.B. Stern

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."---Mark Twain

love
peter