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Simply because I can't decide how I feel today. Or wait! Maybe I can. I know there are professionals out there, who would tell you that feelings are neither "bad nor good". They just are! That thinking of course automatiucally leaves us powerless. There are others who tell us that we can change our feelings by changing our thoughts and actions. While I am certainly of this school, and while I have gotten a further education on the topic from brother John(thanks old John) that does not mean it is always easy. What I learned from John in an extended e-mail conversation recently is that if we want to change some of our negative feelings, first we need to understand them. John used the example of mixing up feelings of love and guilt. While a feeling of love can't possibly be a bad thing, guilt certainly can, and can lead to depression and dark moods. That distinction has really helped me in the last week dealing with the Jon thing. No not easy, but all things are hard before they are easy.

So for one more day and in the immortal words of James Brown....I feeeeel good!


Anyway, enough serious shit. I started blogging this morning when I got up and then my activities took over and it is now almost 10 pm. What did I do today that could be more important than this? Well I basically spent the entire afternoon at the bike and running stores, acquiring a winter workout wardrobe. I got some stuff I have wanted for years and was always to cheap to buy. Of course if I told you what some of it is you may wonder why anyone would want it at all. I got some great new "tights" a pair of "bib shorts" a great "skin tight hoody" and a skull cap. Pretty weird shit eh? I also bought a new "triathlon specific saddle" which I paid 200 bucks for!! Thats what I paid for my first new road bike back in 1993. But in case you think that's expensive, they had other ones for as much as $500.
So Im really looking forward to getting out riding tomorrow. I hope it's cold. In the interest of making a commitment I intend on riding at least 125k.

As to working out today I listened to my body and went only to the pool. While I am slow as molasses, after a warmup I did manage 1000 meters non stop. It did occur to me while beating back and forth in the water that I "was" after all doing the front "crawl"...lol. I intend on finding a coach to help me out with my swimming Not because I am worried about speed, but rather so that I get very efficient to the point where the swim is almost a non factor from the perspective of using energy. So first I'll build my swim endurance to the point where I can mange at least an hour straight, and then I'll get some professional help. Boy it feels good to say that and not mean a doctor of some kind.

I read an interesting Ironman training theory that doesn't call for a focus on the run(as it is clesarly the biggest physical challenge) but rather on the bike. The thinking is to spent so much time on bike training that it becomes like walking to you, to the point that you will use the minimum energy possible on race day and in essence "save up" for the marathon. Although this seems rational enough it was definitley contrary to my attitude to date. I know i can do the swim...I know I can do the bike....,but the run scares the crap out of me, and so I mentally approached it with the idea of over training this discipline. I am defintely rethinking that now.

I just hope that my new gear helps me to put in the bike miles because I already have enough things going numb, without them freezing off as well!(I had to add that because it amuses Cory somehow). All I know is that if I do get cold I sure as hell aint gonna cry...man I kill me!

So finally a brief reference back to my previous post wherein I said I was going to be proud "and " humble. The proud part is real easy when I hear Cory and Larry, two of the most articulate people I know expounding on the value of my writings. What I find really cool is that rather than discouraging the "humble" part of the 'and' statement it actually reinforces it. Thats's how powerful a concept it is. I truly feel simultaneously proud and humble. Wow! Thats too cool eh?

And that's all the wisdom I have for today if indeed any of it is, except for this bit of inspiration!


I wish to dedicate day 17 to my other Mexican friend Nohemi, who lost her little boy, almost lost her husband and yet is full of joy and hope for the new Nino growing inside her.

"Let he who knows the truth proclaim it , whether he be for it or against it"

love
peter